Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself. Rumi
Idea Transcript
Linguistic humor, Headlines From http://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/headlines.html Lexical ambiguity 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar 27 dental hygiene students to receive caps at MCC Antibusing Rider Killed By Senate Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Autos Killing 110 a Day—Let's Resolve to Do Better Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Bar trying to help alcoholic lawyers Bill Would Permit Ads on Eyeglasses Blind Bishop Appointed To See Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years Branch Avenue Bridge To Be Fixed Before Fall Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Chinese Apeman Dated Croupiers On Strike—Management: "No Big Deal" Do it in a microwave oven, save time Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 Ford departs Peking; no change in ties Include Your Children When Baking Cookies Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Kissinger allegedly forges Mideast pact L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide LBJ Giving Bull To Mexican People Lingerie Shipment Hijacked—Thief Gives Police the Slip Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge March Planned For Next August Mauling By Bear Leaves Woman Grateful For Life Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder Mrs. Gandhi stoned at rally in India Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Rugby team's coach set on fire Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Shouting Match Ends Teachers' Hearing Stadium Air Conditioning Fails—Fans Protest Steals Clock; Faces Time Stolen Painting Found by Tree Town OKs Animal Rule Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based Structural ambiguity 1978 Christmas Stamps Depict Madonna, Child on Hobby Horse Aging Expert Joins University Faculty Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Beating Witness Provides Names British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Carter plans swell deficit Chester Morrill, 92, Was Fed Secretary Child teaching expert to speak Chou Remains Cremated Clinton Wins on Budget, More Lies Ahead Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies Deer Kill 130,000 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax FTC Dogs Used Cars Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin Greeks Fine Hookers He Found God At End of His Rope Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters Hershey Bars Protest Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Jumping bean prices affect poor Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice Lie Detector Tests Unreliable, Unconstitutional Hearing Told Louisiana Governor Defends His Wife, Gift From Korean Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms MBA Studies Mushroom New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead PLO invited to raid debates Police Can't Stop Gambling Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Sterilization solves problems for pets, owners Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan Suspect Held in Killing of Reporter for Variety Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Teacher Wants To Be Unveiled; Meeting Tonight Teen-age prostitution problem is mounting Teller Stuns Man with Stolen Check Time for Football and Meatball Stew Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter Women Abuse Topic of Speech Young makes Zanzibar stop Other Air Head Fired Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Dead Expected To Rise Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Diaper Market Bottoms Out Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Firebombing Jury Takes Weekend Off Gov. Moore meets miners' demand; two pickets shot If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Latin Course To Be Canceled—No Interest Among Students, Et Al. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Miners Refuse to Work after Death Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Patient At Death's Door—Doctors Pull Him Through Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Scientists are at loss due to brain-eating amoeba Sex Education Delayed; Teachers Request Training Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Shut-Ins Can Grow Indoors With Lights Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead War Dims Hope for Peace Wives Kill Most Spouses In Chicago Woman better after being thrown from high-rise