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Parenting by The Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child by John Rosemond. • Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud

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Week 3:

Temperament No one impacts who your child is becoming more than you do. Kathleen Edelman Know Your Temperament:

ADDITIONAL TEMPERAMENT RESOURCE • Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer

ADDITIONAL DISCIPLINE RESOURCES • Parenting by The Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child by John Rosemond • Boundaries with Kids by Henry Cloud and John Townsend • Loving Your Child Too Much by Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy • Parenting Your Powerful Child: Bringing an End to the Everyday Battles by Dr. Kevin Leman

APPLICATION EXERCISE

THE TEMPERAMENT TEST DISCOVER THE TEMPERAMENTS OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS Over the next week, please take a few moments to complete the assessment below as a first step toward discovering the temperaments of your family members. Use the chart on the following page to write the temperament of each person.

STEP 1: Circle the word in each row that best describes a family member. Column A

Column B

Column C

Column D

1

TAKES CHANCES

LIKES TO LEAD

LOYAL

HIGH IDEALS

2

RATIONAL

FUN-LOVING

DARING

BALANCED

3

NON-DEMANDING

DEEP/THOUGHTFUL

IMAGINATIVE

SINGLE-MINDED

4

PRODUCTIVE

UNDERSTANDING

DETAILED

LIKES VARIETY

5

UNFLUSTERED

RESERVED

MOTIVATOR

AUTHORITATIVE

6

LOGICAL

ENJOYS NEW THINGS

DECISION MAKER

MEDIATOR

7

ENERGETIC

OPINIONATED

AVOIDS CONFLICT

PREDICTABLE

8

CONSCIENTIOUS

EXPRESSIVE

LEADER

NURTURING

9

PATIENT

PRACTICAL

FORGIVING

ADVENTUROUS

10

GOAL-DRIVEN

PATIENT

FAITHFUL

LOVES PEOPLE

11

DISLIKES CHANGE

TIDY

PROMOTER

COMPETITIVE

12

PERSISTENT

PLAYFUL

INDEPENDENT

TOLERANT

13

TALKATIVE

ENJOYS CHALLENGES

DEEP RELATIONSHIPS

SENSITIVE

14

CREATIVE

POSITIVE

BRAVE

GOOD LISTENER

15

ACCEPTING

EVALUATES

ENTHUSIASTIC

IMPULSIVE

16

DOER

EASYGOING

LIKES ORDER

OPEN/FRIENDLY

17

STEADY

CAUTIOUS

ENERGETIC

ACHIEVER

18

PERFECTIONIST

ANIMATED

VISIONARY

WILLING

This test is based on Personality Patch Training by Teresa Gilbert: pathwaystoexcellence.net. All rights reserved.

STEP 2: Count the number of words you circled for each color, and record it below. TOTALS: Red __________ Yellow __________ Green __________ Blue __________

FAMILY TEMPERAMENT CHART Dad

Mom

Temperament Color

Temperament Color

(Name of Child)

(Name of Child)

(Name of Child)

Temperament Color

Temperament Color

Temperament Color

(Name of Child)

(Name of Child)

Temperament Color

Temperament Color

TEMPERAMENT PROFILES Sanguine

Choleric

PLAYFUL YELLOW

POWERFUL RED

FUN-LOVING OUTGOING OPTIMISTIC LIFE OF THE PARTY

BORN LEADER “GET THINGS DONE” PERSON VISIONARY DECISION MAKER

“I’m the quintessential people person. I enjoy being the center of attention and am energized by being with people. I’m bold and loud in almost everything I do.”

“I’m a strong leader. I am very taskoriented and often find myself doing multiple tasks at one time. If I am not in charge, I want to be.”

Phlegmatic

Melancholy

PEACEFUL GREEN

PROPER BLUE

RELAXED LIKEABLE PEACEABLE LOW-STRESSED

“I’m laid back and go with the flow most of the time. I can be different things to different people and respond as needed in different situations.”

ORGANIZED DETAIL-ORIENTED DEEP THINKER “I tend to be a quiet person, and I am energized by time alone. I like things functional and efficient, and I appreciate things like agendas, detailed instructions, and strong follow-through.”

The temperament information on pages 22-26 is based on the information found in the book, Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer. Adaptations have been made by Kathleen Edelman to keep current with new research concerning temperament behaviors.

TEMPERAMENT STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES Sanguine

Choleric

STRENGTHS

STRENGTHS

PEOPLE PERSON HUMOR CREATIVE AND COLORFUL GREAT STORYTELLER

WEAKNESSES

DECISIVE WORKS WELL UNDER PRESSURE PRODUCTION-ORIENTED GREAT LEADER

WEAKNESSES

DECIDES BY FEELING TALKS TOO MUCH DISTRACTED EASILY INTERRUPTS

TOO OPINIONATED WORKAHOLIC OVERLY INTENSE INSENSITIVE

Phlegmatic

Melancholy

STRENGTHS

ADAPTABLE COMPETENT AND STEADY GOOD LISTENER KIND

WEAKNESSES

TOO QUIET PROCRASTINATOR STUBBORN AVOIDS CONFLICT

STRENGTHS

ATTENTION TO DETAIL DEEP AND THOUGHTFUL GREAT AT PROCESSES AND SYSTEMS PERSISTENT AND THOROUGH

WEAKNESSES

LACKS SPONTANEITY STRUGGLES UNDER PRESSURE HARD TO PLEASE REMEMBERS THE NEGATIVES

BASIC DESIRE: HAVE FUN EMOTIONAL NEEDS: Attention Affection Approval Acceptance

CONTROLS BY: CHARM

LEAD

Popular Sanguine

Extroverted • Optimistic • Outspoken

THE TEMPERAMENTS

PLAY

Peace and Quiet Feeling of Worth Lack of Stress Respect

CONTROLS BY: PROCRASTINATION

Introverted • Pessimistic • Soft-Spoken

EMOTIONAL NEEDS:

EMOTIONAL NEEDS: Loyalty Sense of Control Appreciation Credit for Work

CONTROLS BY: ANGER

Decisive • Organized • Goal Oriented

ANALYZE

BASIC DESIRE: HAVE PEACE

BASIC DESIRE: HAVE CONTROL

WORK

Witty • Easygoing • Not Goal Oriented

Peaceful Phlegmatic

Powerful Choleric

Perfect melancholy BASIC DESIRE: HAVE PERFECTION EMOTIONAL NEEDS: Sensitivity Support Space Silence

CONTROLS BY: MOODS

DISCOVERING YOUR CHILD’S TEMPERAMENT Sanguine

Choleric

Kids Playful Yellow

Kids powerful Red

ENJOYS LIFE ACCEPTING SOCIAL LOVES HUGS INQUISITIVE

LEADERSHIP RESPONSIBILITY CONFIDENCE ACTION-ORIENTED MOTIVATED

WEAKNESSES

WEAKNESSES

STRENGTHS

STRENGTHS

SASSY DEFIANT OF AUTHORITY SELFISH IRRESPONSIBLE TEASER

BOSSY DEMANDING ARGUMENTATIVE SELFISH AGGRESSIVE

Phlegmatic

Melancholy

Kids peaceful green

Kids proper blue

PEACEMAKERS UNDEMANDING ACCOMMODATING COMFORTABLE ALONE NO DRAMA

COMPASSION SINCERITY LOYALTY DEPENDABILITY WELL BEHAVED EASILY DISCIPLINED

STRENGTHS

WEAKNESSES

RESENTS PRESSURE NON VERBAL UNCOMFORTABLE SOCIALLY INDIFFERENT INCOMPLETE TASKS

STRENGTHS

WEAKNESSES

EASILY FRUSTRATED SENSITIVE MOODY AND EMOTIONAL CRITICAL POUTY

PARENTING DO’S AND DON’TS Sanguine

Choleric

Playful Yellow

powerful Red

WHAT TO DO

BE POSITIVE ADORE AND PRAISE THEM PROMOTE CREATIVITY ALLOW VERBAL EXPRESSION

WHAT NOT TO DO

WHAT TO DO

SPEAK LOGICALLY BE DIRECT PROMOTE INTELLIGENCE LET THEM MAKE CHOICES

WHAT NOT TO DO

DON’T BE TOO SERIOUS DON’T DEMAND PERFECTION DON’T CONSUME THEIR TIME

DON’T LECTURE LIMIT EMOTION BE AUTHORITATIVE NEVER EMBARRASS

Phlegmatic

Melancholy

peaceful green

proper blue

BE KIND IN CRITICISM LISTEN QUIETLY PROMOTE INVOLVEMENT ACCEPT INDIVIDUALITY

BE SENSITIVE HELP THEM FEEL SECURE BE SINCERE PROMOTE CREATIVITY

WHAT TO DO

WHAT NOT TO DO

DON’T BE INSENSITIVE DON’T EXPECT INTERACTION DON’T DEMAND CONFORMITY

WHAT TO DO

WHAT NOT TO DO

DON’T EXPECT SPONTANEITY DON’T DEMAND PERFECTION DON’T MAKE THEM FEEL GUILTY

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