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A person may find him/her-self fixated on one material pursuit after another, not realizing why obtaining each of these

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Are shallow people happier? created by Reeses15 1889 days 6 hours 17 minutes ago

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Shower in the morning or at night? by JessicaZ.

Posted Feb 08, 2013 at 2:52 PM PST · Message # 343052

Hello! Do you always shower in the morning or at night? I used to always take showers in the morning an but now with the way my schedule is with work--which is getting up at 4:30 A.M. most times--I take showers after work instead! Most of the time I don't give myself enough time to take morning showers, unless it's my day off. Jess ...read more

This is something I discuss a lot with my roommate, and a forum from last night brought it to mind again.

Reeses15 Graduate Scholarship Winner Joined: Dec 17, 2012 Location: seattle, WA Posts: 774

Sometimes, I just want to slap myself and get out of my head for a minute. I am always analyzing things...thinking about my own thinking and such. I look at some of the people around me whose only concerns seem to be friends, greek life, parties and material wealth. As much as I feel alienated and a little disgusted, I can't help but wonder, are they happier? Are people who think less deeply better off? I had a really abstract and strange discussion with two professors from my theatre conservatory, and when I posed this question, they both nodded fervently and said "absolutely." Do you agree with them? Are analytical, "deep" people more likely to be unhappy than people whose main concerns are superficialities?

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 08, 2013 at 4:03 PM PST · Message # 343074 I think this is where the phrase, "ignorance is bliss" comes from. People who don't analyze situations, life or themselves are happier because they don't care about anything. They are looking for cheap thrills, material possessions and enjoying the present. They aren't worried about the future at all. They stay in the present.

avillalp Graduate Scholarship Winner Joined: Jun 17, 2011 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 3484

However, I don't think being analytic makes you unhappy. I think I'm pretty analytic about life. I spend too much time thinking about things. I spend too much time worrying about things. I'm happy though because I have an optimistic outlook on life. I try to not let my analysis get me down. I don't think that's a good way for me to persevere. I may worry about an exam, but I have to be in a good mood in order to pass it. I don't think people who are shallow are better off than deep thinkers. I don't think their bliss is better than thinking deeply. I think deep thinkers are more productive and successful. I think that shallow people will look back on their lives one day and regret many things. I don't think they will be proud of their accomplishments. Then again, they might not care. It depends on the person to be honest. There are some people who may never wake up and take life seriously. Sometimes, it's better to not take life too seriously. I don't spend too much time dwelling on the past. I try to move forward.

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Posted Feb 08, 2013 at 4:45 PM PST · Message # 343086 On the surface, maybe so, because if a person doesn't care to think deeply about things, they don't have to be troubled by it.

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If a person is very shallow, though, they may be neglecting their inner life, and that can be problematic. A person may find him/her-self fixated on one material pursuit after another, not realizing why obtaining each of these "things" does not satisfy them. So while I can understand taking pleasure in the simplicity of things, I can also see how it could be troublesome if one does not adequately attend to their inner life. Tags:

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 08, 2013 at 5:29 PM PST · Message # 343094 Angie_Pants Vote for candidate Scholarship Winner Joined: Dec 26, 2012 Location: Noblesville, IN Posts: 210

This is a very interesting idea. I can see where shallow people would be happier, but maybe just on the surface. Not worrying about things or analyzing things could definitely have it's benefits. But, where does that actually get you in life? To me it seems like a false sense of security and happiness. But it could also be a vicious cycle, because, would they really see something "wrong" in their actions? Those of us who feel they are not shallow probably have better relationships with others. And humans are social creatures. Which makes me feel for the shallow people a little. What meaningful relationships can they actually have, well, that goes beyond who they see in the mirror? People who are empathetic, sympathetic, analyzers, worriers...we all open ourselves up to being hurt or putting our bodies through pain, etc. But, are we better off in the END? I have struggled with anxiety and worrying, and have found out my top "strength" is empathy (from a course in college). So, maybe I am in trouble with all of my feelings for others. I still feel better when I listen to my friends and help them through things, really understanding what they're going through. (hello empathy!) I wouldn't have it any other way. I would rather continue being in touch with the world around me and getting hurt occasionally versus being cold, cut off, and only in to ME. Great forum! ~Ang Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 08, 2013 at 11:25 PM PST · Message # 343153 I think if all you want is money, hundreds of friends to say you have on Facebook, a hot girl/boyfriend to show off to your friends, and to get wasted at parties, you will never be unhappy. You'll get exactly what you want.

jack476 Vote for candidate Scholarship Winner Joined: Jan 03, 2013 Location: Peoria, IL Posts: 2475

Ignorance is bliss, as they say. I think shallow people are very much happier than deep people. If you expect something better for yourself than partying and empty relationships, you will suffer. But I think in the end, it will be worth it, because a shallow person will spend all their time immersed in short-term thrills and will always need to keep chasing that, a deep person will eventually have what really makes them happy. I think that is really the difference, satisfying wants vs. being happy. I'm an extremely empathetic person, and I have a lot of social anxieties because of it. I worry about being judged and being rejected a lot. But ultimately I think that although it hurts, I'd rather stay aware of the bad things in life as well as the good. If all you've ever known is the good things in life ( and I know quite a few who fit that bill ) I think you will never be truly satisfied. Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 09, 2013 at 5:37 AM PST · Message # 343167 G-Funk

Socrates said "the unexamined life is not worth living." Is that so? I dunno...

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I think superficial people tend to be very externally focused, and their happiness is all a matter of circumstance. Something good happens to them, they're ecstatic. Something bad happens, they're crushed.

Scholarship Winner Joined: Nov 08, 2007 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 4401

I think that self aware people deal with the curse of having to sort out their feelings about stuff a lot more, and I think they probably tend to be angsty from time to time. But... I think that as they age and gain wisdom, they have a more solid core to work from. The good doesn't seem as earth shattering, but the bad isn't nearly as crushing either. There's a sense of perspective. Anyway, that's my thoughts on the subject. I can't easily put myself in the shoes of a superficial person, so it's hard to say. II am definitely cursed with never ever being able to take anything at face value, and I seem to be forever the contrarian. Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 09, 2013 at 7:03 AM PST · Message # 343178 redneck96 Voter Scholarship Winner Joined: Nov 18, 2012 Location: [Unknown] Posts: 136

Reeses, when I read your forum, the thoughts that first came to me were "ignorance is bliss" and "don't worry, be happy". My initial response would have been yes, shallow people are happier because they are only concerned with superficial things and don't exert any energy to discover what lies beneath the surface. However, I began to think a little deeper about the life of a shallow person. They worry about looks, but looks fade, and there will always be someone more attractive than they are. They worry about money, but even if they don't lose their wealth, there is always someone they know who are wealthier. They worry about their popularity, but there is always someone in their circle that is better liked. They keep people around them for their own personal reasons, but the moment that other person stops being useful to them, they quickly rid themselves of that person. In short, I believe shallow people live in a continued state of fear and resentment toward others, never establishing meaningful relations, and are ill-equipped to deal with the challenges that come with life. Those who are"deep", analyze and grow through self-reflection. They find meaning in their lives, have real connections to other people, and develop skills to enable them to cope with the demands of an ever changing life. At the end of the day, "deep" people experience the true meaning of love, friendships, and compassion. Surely, there is no greater happiness than that. Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 09, 2013 at 7:08 AM PST · Message # 343179 Dexter Doyle

Reeses,

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Shallow seems to be the in thing. It is worry-free, less thinking, a lot of self-indulging and rewarding to the individual. Seemingly, indulging in surface living versus core living has it's temporary benefits...i.e. life is wonderful.

Scholarship Winner Joined: Sep 20, 2012 Location: North Charleston, SC Posts: 717

I believe the shallow person will come to grips with what they'rer gaining as a result of not weighing the consequences of their actions. They will see the time wasted on the frills and thrills of life as they mature. Not all will do the sane thing and prepare for their futures. While you will have the minority of people whose choices will be paid off in their later year. I already know that life is not a great big party and it is okay to socialize, but by all means know your limits and prepare yourself for the future and help others along the way. I do have a lot to learn and trust that there will be people there to guide and direct me. The future is bright with a mixture of all types of people. Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 09, 2013 at 2:22 PM PST · Message # 343288 colton95

I believe it can go either way.

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Some people people may think that shallow people are shallow to cover up their true and deep feelings. They may pretend to be happy by expressing lavish clothing and cars. People may cover their true feelings by only focusing on things that make them feel good about themselves because they are truly sad in some way.

Joined: Feb 08, 2013 Location: Portsmouth, RI Posts: 18

Especially in society today, there is a lot of peer pressure involving the ownership of expensive and lavishing items, in order to look better than a friend or neighbor. Many people buy very expensive things to compensate for their unhappiness. Many people look at eachother and want better than what that person has or even equal sometimes. In highschool, many students have iPhones and everyone in my school who does not have an iPhone always talk about how they want an iPhone so bad just because everyone else has on and they feel like an outcast. When they feel like an outcast from society, this makes many people sad, driving them to become shallow in order to get what they want. For some people, when they are shallow, this truly brings happiness to them. These people are much m ore selfish and the most important thing for them are lavishing items. They just simple want these items and they are there the only importants things. Lastly, some people in society do not have access to these lavishing items, so they are use to not owning lavishing items, instead they know how to live below their means. They don't realize what they may be missing out from owning these items and sometimes the less you know, the happier you are!! Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 09, 2013 at 3:12 PM PST · Message # 343298 As usual, I love reading your responses!

Reeses15 Graduate Scholarship Winner Joined: Dec 17, 2012 Location: seattle, WA Posts: 774

I guess the conclusion I've come to about all this is that while it may be true that shallow people are happier, I wouldn't want that regardless. I don't feel good about living with an "ignorance is bliss," mentality. If we don't think about the suffering or the atrocities that are occurring around us, how will we ever address it or change it? I feel some kind of duty to be knowledgeable and aware. "the unexamined life is not worth living." I agree with that, 100%. In my mind, life is a journey of learning and changing. If you do not examine yourself, you do not grow and you do not change. And you CERTAINLY don't make an impact on this world in any significant way. When I see superficial adults (you know the ones I'm talking about), I associate it with teens — there is an immaturity and irresponsibility to it. I suppose it all comes down to a certain selfishness in a more abstract way than we typically think of it. If you are superficial, you are self-indulgent. Perhaps you are happier, but you probably won't play as positive a role in this world. If you are analytical, "deep," and care about important things, you are more likely to do something to initiate change, either in yourself or what is around you. Makeadasense? Tags: Tweet

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Re: Are shallow people happier? Posted Feb 09, 2013 at 3:57 PM PST · Message # 343312 Raelo Vote for candidate Scholarship Winner Joined: Nov 25, 2012 Location: seattle, WA Posts: 1578

Interesting way to put this...I love that you have thought about these living in the moment types as shallow. It shows what kind of person you are and it can be a really good thing. What I have learned over the past few years is that there are two main ways to go through life, living for the moment, and living for the future. It is hard to want to party now, not have a job, hang with friends and do everything tomorrow, but still know that if you wait you are only prolonging a failure. A build up of work or lack thereof is coming and it will explode on these people eventually. It is also hard to sit in a dorm room, do your homework, read a book, go to class, skip kicking it with friends to go to work and invest in stocks while everyone else is having the time of their lives. The people whom I really look up to and who I try to mirror are those who have a good balance. It usually isn't equal (and mine isn't) but there is a balance between the two activities. I have a B+ average and could easily boost up to an A if I didn't spend time playing video games going on dates, hanging with friends, launching oranges off the balcony with a slingshot and getting into all sorts of conundrums. I am working, applying to transfer for college, a full load of college courses, participate in intramurals, party, taking real estate classes, and as I mentioned before carry a B average. I don't know if I am doing it right, maybe the balance between pleasure now and pleasure later is off but I still find myself happy. I find myself happier when I am relaxing and not doing any work and it makes me not want to do any work but then I think about being older and having to work. I want to work my ass off so I can retire at age 50 and just sit around and do old guy stuff for the rest of my life. What do you think is the right balance? also great post! -Riley Tags: raelo riley Tweet

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