Idea Transcript
Working on Yourself: How To Prepare for the Conversation Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions: • What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome? Watch for hidden purposes. • What assumptions are you making about this person’s intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. • What “buttons” of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your “backstory,” as they say in the movies. • How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it? If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. • Who is the opponent? What might he be thinking about this situation? Is he aware of the problem? Begin to reframe the opponent as partner. • What are your needs and fears? Are there any common concerns? Could there be? • How have you contributed to the problem? How has the other person? Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict, by Judy Ringer
Communicating with Parents - Build Their Trust Building a parent’s trust is often a gradual process. First of all parents need to ensure that you have their child’s best interest at heart. Proving this to some parents can be challenging, but it isn’t impossible.
• Listen to Them • Communicate Often • Document Every Communication • Fake It When Necessary http://teaching.about.com/od/pd/a/Parent-And-Teacher-Communication.htm
10 Tips to Deal with Difficult Parents Effectively 1. Let upset parents know that your goal is to help every child succeed. 2. Be sensitive! No matter how tense a situation becomes, always remember that your student is someone’s precious baby. 3. Good records that document dates, times, notes and decisions about students can be invaluable if problems arise. 4. Be proactive! Contact parents as soon as you see academic problems or negative behavior patterns develop. 5. Be prepared to give specific examples to illustrate the points you make. 6. Have you ever been caught off guard by a parent and answered a question in a way that you regret later? If a parent asks you a question that floors you, don't be put on the spot. 7. Don’t be afraid to end a meeting with parents who become confrontational. 8. It's awkward when parents share too much information with you. While it’s helpful to know things that directly impact a student, it can be problematic when parents disclose too much personal information. 9. Sometimes neighborhood issues spill over into the classroom. 10. Watch for parents who hover relentlessly. Barbara & Sue Gruber Instant Ideas for Busy Teachers Archive | Biography | Resources | Discussion http://www.teachers.net/gazette/MAR08/gruber/
Difficult Conversations: 9 Common Mistakes Mistake #1: We fall into a combat mentality. This allows the conversation to become a zero-sum game, with a winner and a loser. Mistake #2: We try to oversimplify the problem. If the subject of your argument were straightforward, chances are you wouldn’t be arguing about it. Mistake #3: We don’t bring enough respect to the conversation. The key to avoiding oversimplification is respecting the problem you’re trying to resolve. Mistake #4: We lash out – or shut down. Mistake #5: We react to thwarting ploys. Lying, threatening, stonewalling, crying, sarcasm, shouting, silence, accusing, taking offense: tough talks can present an arsenal of thwarting ploys. Mistake #6: We get “hooked.” Everyone has a weak spot. Mistake #7: We rehearse. A difficult conversation is not a performance…and having a “script” in mind will hamper your ability to listen effectively and react accordingly. Mistake #8: We make assumptions about our counterpart’s intentions. Mistake #9: We lose sight of the goal. The key in any tough talk is to always keep sight of the goal. Sarah Green https://hbr.org/2010/10/difficult-conversations-9-common-mistakes