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model welcome speech
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Barely literate
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 8:31:02 AM This is the welcome speech I made for the Annual Day celebration. I had never thought it would have been such a difficult task until I sat to write. So, I thought it would be useful to be taken as a model for the beginners if they have a chance to make their own. The benign erudites of our forum are requested to pinpoint the grammatical mistakes of this; if any. Welcome speech
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 8/29/2012 Posts: 2,920 Neurons: 19,621
Good Evening/Afternoon everybody! I am extremely honoured to have the chance to address you in this prestigious moment when our institution, VC Kumaran Memorial School celebrates its 33rd Annual Day today. This is so precious moment for us because aside from the fact this function underlines our school’s successful back-to-back 33 years in its realm of imparting education, this dais is also going to witness the showcasing of talents of the young-buds of this school and the prize giving ceremony to the best students in various spheres. It is always a pleasure to be able to address young minds. Children are our tomorrow - our future. Bright faces that I see here today receiving prizes and evincing their talents will be the citizens of tomorrow. They may tomorrow grow up to be Einsteins, Rabindra Naths, Gandhis, Abdul Kalams & Kishore Kumars or they may just turn out to be a burden on the society, stragglers in the race of life waiting for someone to give them a job. What our children are going to be in future is what we make of them. The talents they demonstrate here are the proof that they have the potentiality to be the useful citizens of the future. The duty which is conferred up on me here is to welcome everyone to this grand celebration. Our chief guest this year, is such a philanthropist who doesn’t need a formal introduction at all. He is the chairman of Kidney Federation of India, a promising organization/foundation which promotes donating internal organs after your death. The most important fact is that he proved himself as an epitome for others to follow, by donating his-own kidney. I consider it is not only my privilege but the honour for our entire school to host him as a dignitary and the inaugurator of our priceless function today. I cordially welcome Fr. Davis Chirammel to the celebration. Next, I would like to welcome our “Guest speaker” today. Being the member of District Consumer Protection Council, he has given a lot of invaluable advices and services and spread the awareness of consumer right. I proudly welcome Adv. A.D. Benny onto the function. The next one I would like to welcome to this function is the president of the meeting who need not be acquainted to the members and well-wishers of VC Kumaran memorial school. He is our Academic Director and is the former principal of IES Chittilappilly. I bide a hearty welcome to Dr. P.K. Sivanand to the ceremony. Our most honourable Chairman, the founder and patron, and the lifeblood of our school Mr. V.K. Chandradas is the next to be welcomed. Dearest Sir, I welcome you in my humble words to this most prestigious programme. Next in the list to welcome is the backbone of this school, the most beloved and respected Reshma ma’am. Dearest ma’am, Please accept my welcome to the feast. Again, I would like to welcome all the dearest parents who have constantly extended their love and support to all the high prospects of this school and to each one of its faculty. And last, but not the least, I would like to welcome all the teachers and students, who are the part and parcel of this institution in my modest words. I hope and request your benign cooperation throughout this programme for its grand success. Thank you.
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Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 11:43:29 AM
Rank: Advanced Member
Haven't even got to the Speech yet, Salesh. I got stuck on 'the benign erudites...' (which I see my spell-check is also having trouble with).
Joined: 6/14/2009 Posts: 13,338 Neurons: 40,632 Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom
"Erudite" is an adjective. Benign means well meaning, sure. But it is a word rarely used when the opposite of being benign has not been mentioned. It often, too, has a slightly negative connotation when out of context - similar to 'wishy-washy' or ineffective. To use benign to qualify the non-standard 'erudites' just slips narrowly through the margin of what works and what doesn't. While we, on this forum, know you and understand that you are trying to use a compliment, it is doubtful whether others would slip smoothly over this expression. Please, please, please tell me that you are NOT going against advice and using words that you are just discovering in dictionaries or vocab lists, rather than in natural, heard speech??
Back to top zielonosiwy
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 12:15:25 PM nice speech! you should write them for Queen Elizabeth
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 5/21/2012 Posts: 267 Neurons: 1,154 Back to top Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 12:51:29 PM Well Hi salesh! Well, I prefer "benign erudites" to some names I can think of (like "eruditious benignities"), but Romany is correct - it does not really 'fly'.
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 9/12/2011 Posts: 27,217 Neurons: 150,975 Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
I read your speech. The first thing to mention is that I do know that the Classic Indian idiom or "fashionable turn of phrase" is more "ornamented" or "flowery" than British English; so if I mention any words as being wrong, but you know that they are part of the Indian idiom, just ignore me - or mention it. The first point is very fine - I think it is a matter of 'implication' rather than meaning. The clause "They may tomorrow grow up to be Einsteins, Rabindra Naths, Gandhis, Abdul Kalams & Kishore Kumars" seems fine. However the clause "they may just turn out to be a burden on the society, stragglers in the race of life waiting for someone to give them a job." somehow seems unfitting. I think it is simply the fact that using "may" for both sets of circumstances (good and bad) implies that they are equal. This makes them equally desirable. This could be totally my feelings, which are not shared by anyone, but somehow it sounds much better to me to use 'could' in the second clause, and to stress it (to stress that it is a possibility, not what is expected or wanted). "They may tomorrow grow up to be Einsteins, Rabindra Naths, Gandhis, Abdul Kalams & Kishore Kumars or they could just turn out to be a burden on the society, stragglers in the race of life waiting for someone to give them a job." ******************** The sentence "Our chief guest this year, is such a philanthropist who doesn't need a formal introduction at all." is not quite right. The phrase " He is such a " needs to be followed by "that he ". (He is such a celebrity that he is known everywhere. He is such a fool that he thinks hot-dogs bite you.) "Our chief guest this year is such a philanthropist that he doesn't need a formal introduction at all." *********************** "...he has given a lot of invaluable advices and services and spread the awareness of consumer right." - I would personally use the uncountable "advice", rather than the plural "advices", though I think "advices" is not wrong, just unusual. "consumer rights" is definitely plural. "...he has given a lot of invaluable advice and services, and spread the awareness of consumer rights." *********************** "...the president of the meeting who need not be acquainted to the members and well-wishers of VC Kumaran memorial school." Again, this is idiom/syntax. There is a dictionary which gives a definition of "acquaint with" as a US phrase meaning "introduce to" Example: - "permit me to acquaint you with my son" However this is not British English; and it is "acquaint with", not "acquaint to". It would be much better to use "who needs no introduction to" or (to avoid repetition of 'introduction') "who will not need introducing to". "...the president of the meeting who needs no introduction to the members and well-wishers of VC Kumaran memorial school." ******************* "I bide a hearty welcome to Dr. P.K. Sivanand to the ceremony." just one word - it should be 'bid', not 'bide'. "I bid a hearty welcome to Dr. P.K. Sivanand to the ceremony." ********************** So, that's a couple of actual errors, and a couple of points where I'm not too happy with syntax. Really good!
Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull! Back to top
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Luftmarque
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 1:45:07 PM "Benign Erudites" Great name for a rock band! (And should be the new highest level of TFD member!) My only suggested change would be "exemplar" for "epitome." "Epitome" has a connotation (weak, maybe) of being a superlative, but mainly just doesn't flow as well in my mind as "exemplar" would. Other than that and the comments of the other BE's, I think it's a fine speech.
Rank: Advanced Member
}- Luftmarque
-{ Le doute n'est pas une condition agréable, mais la certitude est absurde.—Voltaire
Joined: 3/17/2009 Posts: 3,120 Neurons: 18,437 Location: Pau, Aquitaine, France Back to top
Romany
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 3:17:08 PM
Rank: Advanced Member
I am extremely honoured to have the chance to address you in this prestigious moment when our institution, VC Kumaran Memorial School celebrates its 33rd Annual Day('today' is unnecessary: you've spoken of 'this moment' so it has to be today). This is so(such a) precious moment for us because aside from the fact (that) this function underlines our school’s successful back-to-back(what do you mean here?Do you mean 'continuous'? There's no need for it: if one says one has been married for 33 years it is assumed that those are 33 consecutive years. The same applies here) 33 years in its realm (I think the word you need here is 'role')of imparting education, this dais is also going to witness the showcasing (this redundant. 'to witness' or 'to showcase' are almost synonymous in this context. Perhaps "this dias is going to showcase..." is preferable) of (if you accepted the previous change then 'of' becomes 'the') talents of the young-buds (I think perhaps you have mixed this up with the collocation 'young-bloods' which sounds the same. There is no such collocation as young-buds. "Students" is a much better choice) oof this school and the prize giving ceremony to (at which) the best students in various spheres will be rewarded.
Joined: 6/14/2009 Posts: 13,338 Neurons: 40,632 Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom
In para 2 which Dragon dealt with, I would also point out that the noun 'tomorrow' is also redundant. Strictly speaking they won't grow up tomorrow - its a process. But it's already couched in the future so we know the growing up process isn't going to happen today. (Oh, and I think Dragon forget to point out that no article is necessary with 'society'.) I would also point out that "our priceless function" whether in Indian or British English is hyperbole. The function is NOT priceless. Somewhere there is a School Committee toting up the costs! (I know what you are trying to say, but I think you should drop the 'priceless'. 'Our function' is fine on its own. Add a qualifying adjective if you wish...but 'priceless' isn't the right one to add. I also think you have done a great job here, so feel free to completely ignore my comments. However, I think that, once again, in a combined effort we've tried to help as much as we can. Hope it all goes well. Have a wonderful day - and I hope someone recognises YOUR contributions to the school too. Back to top excaelis
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 4:40:59 PM Nice job, Salesh, and good critiques from Romany and Draig. My question is " Did you enjoy it ?"
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 6/30/2010 Posts: 10,981 Neurons: 32,652 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
( I rather like ' benign erudites '. Makes one think of some group of ancients who altruistically set out to govern a planet on an early 'Star Trek' episode, but then they go too far, and the people are unhappy, and then the Enterprise shows up and the daughter of the chief erudite falls for Kirk, and then...well, we've all seen it...) Sanity is not statistical
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pjharvey
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 4:17:11 AM
Rank: Advanced Member
"Ornamented" and "flowery" language indeed!!!
Joined: 4/13/2012 Posts: 793 Neurons: 48,225
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Romany
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 4:25:58 AM
Rank: Advanced Member
Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a winner!
Joined: 6/14/2009 Posts: 13,338 Neurons: 40,632 Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom
"Benign erudites" seems to have captured the public imagination unanimously. Henceforth all members will strive for the next goal after "Advanced Member" - the coveted title of Benign Erudite: which comes not just with a toaster but an electric kettle as well. Congratulations, Salesh - you have successfully coined a phrase!
Back to top Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 7:50:56 AM Hmm? Can we say many of us old coots here are harmless pundits?
Rank: Advanced Member
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Joined: 9/21/2009 Posts: 39,960 Neurons: 306,666 Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland Back to top jacobusmaximus
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 4/17/2009 Posts: 10,946 Neurons: 347,916 Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 8:38:31 AM salesh2010 wrote: This is the welcome speech I made for the Annual Day celebration. I had never thought it would have been such a difficult task until I sat to write. So, I thought it would be useful to be taken as a model for the beginners if they have a chance to make their own. The benign erudites of our forum are requested to pinpoint the grammatical mistakes of this; if any. Welcome speech
I think the others members have given you all the advice you need on this onw salesh, but for what it's worth here is my tuppence worth. I am suggesting some changes that should make your excellent speech flow more smoothly without affecting your style. Best wishes to you: Good Evening/Afternoon everybody, and a very warm welcome to you all! I am extremely honoured to have this opportunity to address you in this prestigious moment when our institution, VC Kumaran Memorial School, celebrates its 33rd Annual Day. This is so precious a moment for us because, aside from the fact this function underlines our school’s successful back-to-back 33 years in its realm of imparting education, this dais is also going to witness the showcasing of talents of the young buds of this school and the prize-giving ceremony to the best students in the various spheres. It is always a pleasure to address young minds. Children are our tomorrow - our future. Bright faces that I see here today receiving prizes and evincing their talents will be the citizens of tomorrow. They may tomorrow grow up to be Einsteins, Rabindra Naths, Gandhis, Abdul Kalams & Kishore Kumars. What our children are going to be in future is what we make of them. The talents they demonstrate here are the proof that they have the potential to be useful citizens of the future. The duty which is conferred upon me here today is to welcome everyone to this grand celebration. Our chief guest this year is such a well-known philanthropist that he doesn’t need a formal introduction at all. He is the chairman of the Kidney Federation of India, an outstanding organization which encourages the practice of donating internal organs after your death. I think it is important for us to note that he has proved himself as an epitome for others to follow by donating his own kidney. I consider it is not only my privilege but an honour for our entire school to host him as a dignitary and the inaugurator of our priceless function today. I cordially welcome Fr. Davis Chirammel to the celebration. Next, I would like to welcome our Guest Speaker today. Being the member of District Consumer Protection Council, he has given much vital advice and valuable service and has spread the awareness of consumer rights. I proudly welcome Adv. A.D. Benny to the function. It is also my pleasure to welcome the President of the meeting who needs no introduction to the members and well-wishers of VC Kumaran memorial school. He is our Academic Director and the former principal of IES Chittilappilly. I bid a hearty welcome to Dr. P.K. Sivanand to the ceremony. Our most honourable Chairman, the founder and patron, and the lifeblood of our school Mr. V.K. Chandradas is the next to be welcomed. Dearest Sir, I welcome you in my humble words to this most prestigious programme. Next in the list to welcome is the backbone of this school, the most beloved and respected Reshma ma’am. Dearest ma’am, Please accept, on behalf of evryone here today, my welcome to the feast. It is an especial pleasure to welcome all the dearest parents who have constantly extended their love and support to all the high prospects of this school and to each one of its faculty. And last, but by no means least, I would like to welcome, in my modest words, all the teachers and students who are part and parcel of this great institution. I hope for and earnestly request your benign cooperation throughout this programme to ensure its grand success. Thank you.
I remember, therefore I am.
Back to top towan52
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 12:12:34 PM Romany wrote: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a winner!
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 8/28/2012 Posts: 1,676 Neurons: 159,573 Location: Midland, Texas, United States
"Benign erudites" seems to have captured the public imagination unanimously. Henceforth all members will strive for the next goal after "Advanced Member" - the coveted title of Benign Erudite: which comes not just with a toaster but an electric kettle as well. Congratulations, Salesh - you have successfully coined a phrase!
I agree Romany; I remarked to DragOn sometime ago that on my gravestone, "insufferable" would be infinitely preferable to "beloved" etc. However "insufferable" pales into nothing compared to "Benign Erudite" Here lies Towan52 A Benign Erudite who was mean to everybody and never refused a glass of beer
Kudos to Salesh "Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle" Back to top jacobusmaximus
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 6:31:54 AM Hang on! Isn't the word 'erudire' an adjective? Or am I just spoiling things here? I remember, therefore I am.
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 4/17/2009 Posts: 10,946 Neurons: 347,916 Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom Back to top jacobusmaximus
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 6:34:16 AM Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote: Hmm? Can we say many of us old coots here are harmless pundits?
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 4/17/2009 Posts: 10,946 Neurons: 347,916 Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom
Or benign pandits, like Salesh? I remember, therefore I am.
Back to top Barely literate
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 7:13:59 AM Romany wrote: Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a winner!
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 8/29/2012 Posts: 2,920 Neurons: 19,621
"Benign erudites" seems to have captured the public imagination unanimously. Henceforth all members will strive for the next goal after "Advanced Member" - the coveted title of Benign Erudite: which comes not just with a toaster but an electric kettle as well.
___________________________________ Hi Everyone! I didn't get the meaning of the part written in red. Could you help?
Hi Romany! Thank You so much for a great suggestion. Everyone knows well that we have almost a dozen of members who are always so eager to clarify the questions of inquisitors that they visit this forum 3 or 4 times or more a day, which makes this forum far more useful than many others. Hats off to their selfless altruism! Even I felt many a time that just giving them thanks is no match for their largesse. I remember once an OP(Kalid Sami or so, if my memory works well) opened an whole thread itself to thank them. Mme Romany, I support your wonderful suggestion from the bottom of my heart. I also suggest if such a status is to be made, it must be purely depended up on the members' 1)attitude to help others 2)understanding the heart of the question and not depending on 1)the seniority 2)Number of posts made. Thank you all.
Back to top Barely literate
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 8/29/2012 Posts: 2,920 Neurons: 19,621
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 7:24:04 AM Thank you Jaicob... for rewriting my speech. When I wrote it, even I felt, as a vague picture. You made a "Picasso Masterpiece" out of it. Maybe as you said you didn't learn grammar much. But whenever a need comes that you can handle well, you will be there with your helping hand always-I am damn sure! But unfortunately, our Annual Day was 2 days ago. But our inexperienced members can use it with their own situational modifications. Thank you Jaicob once again.
Back to top Barely literate
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 7:34:19 AM pjharvey wrote: "Ornamented" and "flowery" language indeed!!!
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 8/29/2012 Posts: 2,920 Neurons: 19,621
_________________________ Hi pjharvey I know, it may be ornamented or flowery for the European culture. But here in India, it is just right. While writing a speech or something, only the language we change; but not culture. After all, we are Indians in every Inch.No? I once read here, that one member never called anyone sir after his schooling. It is quite okay with their culture. No one from the same culture will mind it. Because it is just rignt in their customs. But I think the Asians are a bit different. In the Chinese Action Movies I saw many a time, even before fighting the opponents bow to each other to show respect. It is their custom. So please forgive me if I was so flowery! Thank you.
Back to top Barely literate
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 7:41:08 AM Dearest Dragon & Romany, Please forgive me if I failed to thank you properly for your kind help in correcting my grammar mistake. I am a bit busy today to learn your suggestions today but of course, I will do it tomorrow.
Rank: Advanced Member
Thank you once again to both of you for spending time to teach me to fish.
Joined: 8/29/2012 Posts: 2,920 Neurons: 19,621 Back to top Barely literate
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 7:46:58 AM Hi everyone!
Rank: Advanced Member
I also made a "Vote of thanks" for my friend, in connection with the Annual Day. Can I post it here in another thread, so that anyone can take it a sample and use it. I don't know if it is contrary to our forums rules and regulation. Welcome your advice.
Joined: 8/29/2012 Posts: 2,920 Neurons: 19,621 Back to top Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 4:54:24 PM Hi salesh! I'm afraid the toaster is a myth
Rank: Advanced Member Joined: 9/12/2011 Posts: 27,217 Neurons: 150,975 Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
A rumour started (before ever I joined this happy crew) that for a really exceptional 'post', one would be awarded a toaster. Jyrkkä Jätkä even provided a photograph:
However, sadly, no-one has ever actually seen such an award. To be awarded a toaster and a kettle is a very high honour!
Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull! Back to top
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