Personal Relationships.pmd - Relationships, Society and Culture [PDF]

AGNALDO GARCIA FederalUniversity of Espirito Santo Brazil

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS International Studies

Sellected Papers IARR Mini-Conference International Association for Relationship Research July, 1 to 3, 2005 Vitória, Espírito Santo - Brazil

VITÓRIA - 2005

1ª Edição – 2006

EDITED BY

Agnaldo Garcia Federal university of Espirito Santo Brazil CAPA e EDITORAÇÃO ELETRÔNICA

Edson Maltez Heringer

REVISÃO

O autor

IMPRESSÃO

GM Gráfica & Editora Ltda. 27 3323-2900 | [email protected]

Dados Internacionais de Catalogação-na-publicação (CIP) (Biblioteca Nacional do Rio de Janeiro, RJ, Brasil) Personal relationships - international studies / Agnaldo Garcia (org.). – Vitória : UFES, Núcleo Interdisciplinar para o Estudo do Relacionamento Interpessoal; Vitória - ES, 2006. 152 p. : 21cm Inclui bibliografia. ISBN 85-99510-02-9 1. Personal Relationships. 2. Social Psychology. 3. Developmental Psychology. I. Garcia, Agnaldo. CDU 149.922

É proibida a reprodução total ou parcial desta publicação, para qualquer finalidade, sem autorização por escrito do organizador. Reservados todos os direitos de publicação em língua portuguesa ao Núcleo Interdisciplinar para o Estudo do Relacionamento Interpessoal da UFES.

SUMÁRIO

PREFACE ............................................................................................................... 5 1.

A Brief Introduction toRelationship Economics ........................................ 7 L. Dwight Israelsen, Richard L. Ratliff, Clifford R. Skousen & Eberhard E. Scheuing

2.

Cross-Cultural Considerations in Relationship Theory .......................... 21 Taira Koybaeva & Richard L. Ratliff

3.

The role of loneliness, network support and network interference in undergraduate women’s homesickness ........................... 33 Jacki Fitzpatrick, Du Feng & Duane Crawford

4.

What is Homophobia? – Men and Vulnerability ...................................... 39 Kerry Richard Cronan

5.

Cultural Cues and Intimacy ....................................................................... 60 Kerry Richard Cronan

6.

Mexican Love Styles ................................................................................... 64 Rozzana Sánchez-Aragón (Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México).

7.

Personal Relatioships Research in South America – An Overview ........ 78 Agnaldo Garcia

8.

Acompañamiento Psicosocial en un País en Conflicto Armado: Una Experiencia .................................................... 98 Stella Sacipa Rodríguez

9.

Relaciones Familiares y Sociales em Jovenes Aficionados a Juegos de Suerte y Azar em la Ciudad de Bogotá ............................... 125 Blanca Patricia Ballesteros de Valderrama, Claudia Caycedo, Mónica Ma. Novoa G., Dennys del Rocío García

10. Friendship in Childhood and Adolescence - A Study in Brazil ............. 128 Agnaldo Garcia 11. Mars and Venus: a Critique and a Proposal .......................................... 142 Patricia Noller 12. Perceived Relationships Quality in Britain, Ghana and Portugal ........ 147 Robin Goodwin, Zoe Williams, Joseph Adonu, Priya Kanabar, Slawomir Spiecwak, Felix Neto

PREFACE

The chapters in this book are based on presentations (and proposals) made at IARR (International Association for Relationship Research) Mini-Conference held at “Hotel Canto do Sol”, in Vitoria, Espírito Santo, Brazil, during July 2005. This book presents a comprehensive discussion about personal relationships, from different areas of knowledge and from different countries. The eight chapters and the four short papers present important contributions to relationships research, in theoretical and empirical terms. The book starts with a brief introduction to Relationship Economics by L. Dwight Israelsen, Richard L. Ratliff, Clifford R. Skousen and Eberhard E. Scheuing and a chapter on cross-cultural considerations in Relationship Theory, by Taira Koybaeva and Richard L. Ratliff. The role of loneliness, network support and network interference in undergraduate women’s homesickness are discussed by Jacki Fitzpatrick, Du Feng and Duane Crawford, followed by a discussion of homophobia, by Kerry Cronan. From Latin America, Rozzana Sánchez-Aragón discusses Mexican love styles, Agnaldo Garcia comments on current research on relationships is South America and Stella Sacipa Rodríguez analyzes psychosocial issues in Colombia related to personal relationships. Then, Agnaldo Garcia reports new data on friendship in childhood and adolescence in Brazil. This book also includes four short papers with relevant information: cultural cues and intimacy (Kerry Richard Cronan), Mars and Venus: a critique and a proposal (Patricia 5

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Noller), perceived relationships quality in Britain, Ghana and Portugal (Robin Goodwin, Zoe Williams, Joseph Adonu, Priya Kanabar, Slawomir Spiecwak and Felix Neto) and some notes on current investigation on social and family relationships of young adults and gambling in Bogotá, Colombia, by Blanca Patricia Ballesteros de Valderrama, Claudia Caycedo, Mónica Ma. Novoa G., Dennys del Rocío García. I am grateful to the Federal University of Espírito Santo, the Graduate Course in Psychology from the same university and to CNPq (National Council for Scientific and Technological Development) for their support. I am also grateful to all mini-conference participants and I hope this book will motivate readers from different areas of knowledge to consider personal relationships as a subject of scientific investigation, fostering the advance of research in our country and in our continent.

Agnaldo Garcia

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1 A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO RELATIONSHIP ECONOMICS L. Dwight Israelsen Richard L. Ratliff Clifford R. Skousen Eberhard E. Scheuing

The business community has long understood the importance of moving from discrete transactions to long-term relationships. Spending money to attract endless streams of anonymous customers is inefficient and ineffective. Converting individual purchases into repeat business reduces transaction costs and enhances profits. A Harvard Business School study substantiated the fact that customers become more profitable over time as the base profit from the relationship is augmented by increased purchases and/or higher balances, reduced operating costs, referrals of friends, and the ability to price premium. The study determined that as a credit card company reduces its customer defection rate from 20 percent to 10 percent, the length of its customer relationship doubles from five to 10 years, and related profits more than double over that period. Similarly, Carl Sewell estimated in the 1980s that the lifetime value of a customer of his Cadillac dealership in Dallas, Texas, at $332,000.1 It is generally recognized in the literature that good relationships between economic agents result in lower transaction costs of economic exchanges. Transaction costs are defined to be all economic costs except

1

Eberhard E. Scheuing, Creating Customers for Life, Portland, OR: Productdivity Press 1995, p. 41; Frederick F. Reichheld and W. Earl Sasser, “Zero Defections: Quality Comes to Services,” Harvard Business Review, September-October 1990; Carl Sewell and Paul B. Brown, Customers for Life, New York: Pocket Books 1990.

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the direct cost of production and transportation. Lower transaction costs lead to greater economic efficiency that creates larger profits for companies, higher incomes for workers and other suppliers, and greater benefits for consumers. By increasing labor effort and productivity, healthy relationships between management and labor may reduce production costs, thus raising economic efficiency directly. A new management strategy that reduced transaction cost would produce the same kind of beneficial effects on economic efficiency and economic agents as would a new technology that reduced production or transportation costs. For an individual market, economic efficiency requires that price (which measures the marginal benefit to society from consuming the product, as well as the marginal revenue to the seller) equals marginal cost. The competitive forces of supply and demand and the profit motive automatically move markets toward this outcome – Adam Smith’s famous “invisible hand” doctrine. In the long run, competitive markets also move toward technical efficiency – the production of goods at the lowest possible average cost. For an individual producer, profit maximization requires that any given level of output be produced at the lowest possible cost, and that the level of output chosen be the one at which marginal revenue equals marginal cost. In competitive markets this is the economically efficient level of output, since marginal revenue equals price. While economists have a well-defined concept of economic efficiency, and a set of tools that are useful for determining whether a particular economy, market, or producer is efficient, economic and business researchers have not yet defined what constitutes a healthy economic relationship; nor have they developed a technique to determine whether a particular relationship is healthy. Rather, they tend to look at the outcome of the economic process as an indicator of whether the underlying economic relationship is healthy or unhealthy. Because many factors influence economic outcomes, this approach is fraught with danger. At best, the researchers can infer the health of an economic relationship by looking at the outcome adjusted for other economic determinants that are measurable. By identifying the criteria and conditions of healthy economic relationships, we provide the basic tools necessary to monitor economic relationships and diagnose

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problems related to the health of relationships. The potential benefits from improved economic efficiency, profits, incomes, and quality of life are enormous.

Two Tenets of Relationship Economics2 The first tenet of relationship economics says that: Markets are developed by the establishment of relationships among economic entities for the deployment of economic resources and the distribution of income and ealth. From the perspective of an entire market, there is a myriad of economic entities. From the perspective of a particular entity, the primary types of relationships are those with customers, employees, external suppliers of goods and services, investors, and regulators. The absence or dysfunction of any one of these kinds of relationships is likely to cause a fatal weakness in the entity’s ability to operate. A systematic absence or dysfunction of any of these relationships among the entities within a market is likely to cause a fatal weakness in the market’s ability to operate. Fewer markets, or fewer participants within a given market, restrict choice and reduce the volume of economic exchanges, with a concomitant reduction in the gains from trade and in quality of life. The second tenet of relationship economics states that: Greater efficiency is achieved by healthy market relationships, i.e., healthy economic relationships generate greater economic well-being for a larger number of people and economic entities.

Effective relationship management can lead to a better “fit” between suppliers and customers, and between management and labor. Healthy relationships between suppliers and customers reduce uncertainty, and

2

Richard L. Ratliff, et al, Human Relationships: A General Theory, a working manuscript, Utah State University, provides a more in-depth discussion of Relationship Economics, including three major tenets and four corollaries.

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hence, transaction costs. Healthy relationships between suppliers and customers reduce information costs and allow for a more efficacious assortment of goods and services to be produced. Healthy relationships between management and labor increase worker job satisfaction and reduce monitoring and turnover costs, as well as other costs associated with what is known as the “principal-agent issue,” where workers (i.e., agents) acting on behalf of management (i.e., a principal) have better information regarding specific circumstances and may seek to profit at management’s expense. In addition, healthy management-labor relationships promote greater labor effort and productivity that lead to higher profits and higher wages. Healthy relationships between firms lead to more effective strategic alliances and other kinds of interorganizational networking. In turn, effective alliances and networks lead to larger, more efficient markets, lower information and other transaction costs, greater innovation, and higher profits. In the macroeconomic realm, the lower transaction costs associated with effective relationship management free up resources otherwise devoted to information gathering, processing, warehousing, and dissemination; to risk management and hedging; to searching, and to monitoring; and directs them to the production of additional goods and services, including capital goods. This increased output raises the standard of living in the short run, and the increased rate of investment and innovation raises the rate of economic growth, hence the standard of living in the long run. Research at Utah State University, in the United States, indicates that a healthy cooperative economic relationship requires two criteria and four conditions that are both necessary and sufficient for the health of the relationship.3 The two criteria are: Criterion 1: Both parties must benefit from the relationship, i.e., their purposes for the relationship must be achieved. Criterion 2: The relationship must be pleasant for both parties.

3

Ratliff, et al, Human Relationships: A General Theory, provides a more in-depth discussion of these criteria and conditions.

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To the extent either criterion is not met, the health of the relationship is threatened. The greater the violation of either criterion, the greater the threat. Monitoring these criteria is comparable to monitoring the major life signs of a person, such as pulse and temperature. The four conditions required for a healthy, cooperative economic relationship are: Condition 1: There must be an intersection of purposes, either in the form of common purposes (e.g., both parties seeking passage of a tax law) or symbiotic purposes (e.g., buyer-seller relationships). Condition 2: There must be mutual trust between parties, i.e., (a) neither party must feel threatened by the other or by the relationship, and (b) each party must be confident that the other will help meet his/her purposes for the relationship. This condition suggests that the parties anticipate that they will be treated well by each other. Condition 3: There must be mutual respect between parties; i.e., both parties must have confidence in the other’s (a) competence to fulfill his/her role, (b) integrity, and (c) sense of responsibility to the relationship. This condition suggests that each party believes that the other has, and is motivated to exercise, the attributes to fulfill his/her role in the relationship. Condition 4: The means are available and a commitment of resources has been made to conduct the relationship. These means include the following: • Each party provides the product (information, good, or service) required. • There is an effective communication system. • The parties exhibit good manners. • Adequate administrative support is provided in the way of (a) physical support—e.g., phones, meeting rooms, computers, etc., (b) access of the parties to one another, and (c) a culture that fosters the relationship. If all four conditions are present, the relationship will be healthy; in 11

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other words, they are sufficient for a healthy relationship. To the extent, however, that any of these conditions is compromised, the relationship is threatened; in other words, they are necessary for a healthy relationship. Where relationships are to some degree unhealthy (i.e., the criteria are weak), their weaknesses may be diagnosed by testing the four conditions to determine what treatments will improve the relationship. Ineffective relationship management leading to the failure of one or more of the conditions necessary for healthy economic relationships increases transaction costs and reduces economic efficiency. Weak or imbalanced intersections of purposes between entities create additional costs associated with searching for better-matched partners. Lack of trust between parties creates additional costs associated with controlling or hedging against the risk of harm or performance failure. Similarly, lack of respect between parties diverts resources away from production in search of other possible relationships with more competent entities, with higher integrity who are more responsible and dependable. Delivery of products that do not meet entities’ needs leads to additional transaction costs associated with finding suitable products from other sources. Poor communication between parties creates inefficiencies and resource misallocation, with associated costs. Poor manners are a type of communication that reduces trust and respect, thereby increasing costs. A lack of administrative support increases the costs of conducting and administering the relationship. In every case, violation of the required conditions for a healthy relationship increases transaction costs and reduces market efficiency. The more costly the relationships, the greater the inefficiencies.

The Role and Effect of Technology The term technology refers to the manner in which resources are combined to produce goods and services. An improvement in technology is defined as a change that reduces the costs of producing and distributing goods and services. A given technological improvement may entail the use of a different kind of physical plant, e.g., a better machine, or it may entail more effective organization of the production process, e.g., a better management system. A technological improvement, then, must lower

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production or transaction costs, or both. During earlier industrial revolutions, extraordinary innovations in the technology of applied physical science generated extraordinary increases in production capacity. At the same time, the theory and application of bureaucracy provided the management methodology necessary to realize the market potential of that production capacity. Today, science is advancing at an ever-increasing rate, again yielding improvements in production capacity, efficiency, flexibility, and quality of a magnitude requiring corresponding new management techniques. It is clear that recent, pending, and potential improvements in technology will continue to generate additional capability to reduce transaction costs. These technological improvements have the effect of converting local and national markets into international and world markets through tremendous reduction in the costs of obtaining, processing, and disseminating information, goods, and services. In so doing, the technology greatly expands the pool of potential participants in economic relationships for virtually every economic entity. One need look no further than the Internet to realize the magnitude of the increase in potential customers and suppliers made possible primarily by technology. This expanded market, with the greater range of choice of economic relationships it entails, is prompting a demand, even an expectation by market entities for less threatening, more helpful, more competent, and more responsible partners, with greater integrity in market relationships. Such relationships are characterized by a distribution system that better meets the needs of participants with better communication, better manners, and better administrative support, and consequently lower transaction costs. Greater choice, larger markets, and lower transaction costs lead to corresponding increases in the number of economic exchanges, gains from trade, and economic efficiency. In addition to the effects of technology on market expansion, management methodology in recent years has generated innovations specifically intended to improve market relationships, thereby reducing both production and transaction costs. An example of these innovations is the emphasis on long-term relationships demonstrated in: • strategic alliances; • long-term customer-supplier contracts, often involving extensive integration of design and production processes; • development of employees; and 13

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•

performance-based pay schemes for all relationship partners.

Improved technology, then, can both expand a market’s potential and improve its efficiency. Today’s technology is able to do both on an unprecedented scale.

The Economics of Adversarial Relationships Adversarial relationships are costly to the parties involved and costly in terms of market efficiency. We noted earlier how violation of the four conditions required for healthy relationships increases transaction costs. The more serious and widespread the violations, the greater the transaction costs. An extreme example of the breakdown of healthy market relationships is the Russian economy after the dissolution of the Soviet Republic, where an ineffective legal system has created such a degree of uncertainty about market outcomes that the economy has been overwhelmed by adversarial relationships dominated by organized crime and official corruption. In the absence of the rule of law, so many economic resources have been devoted to enforcing contracts and hedging against risk that there have been relatively few resources available for the actual production of goods and services. It is no wonder that Russia has had difficulty producing enough goods and services to meet basic needs of its population, let alone to enable the capital accumulation necessary for economic growth. Many observers also have noted the huge costs of litigation in the United States as a dangerously high transaction cost hurting that country’s global competitiveness. Steven N. S. Cheung has suggested that the ratio of transaction costs to the gains from specialization is the primary determinant of a country’s standard of living.4 The development and enforcement of proper rules governing adversarial relationships can minimize the transaction costs created by those relationships. Such rules would protect the parties involved, would minimize the harm to those

4

Steven N. S. Cheung, “The Transaction Costs Paradigm: 1998 Presidential Address, Western Economic Association,” Economic Inquiry 36 (October 1998), p. 517.

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involved in peripheral relationships, and, where possible, would promote healthier, cooperative relationships between would-be adversaries.

Benefits of Reducing Transaction Costs Based on the definition of transaction costs as all economic costs except direct production and distribution costs, the potential benefits of reducing transaction costs are enormous. A conservative estimate of transaction costs for the U.S. economy indicates that they comprise at least 65 percent of GDP, or about $7.6 trillion in 2004.5 If 20 percent of these transaction costs were incurred because of unhealthy relationships, about $1.5 trillion are being wasted on avoidable relationship costs. If the resources represented by those transaction costs were, instead, allocated to direct production of economic goods and services, there would be a dramatic increase in production, consumption, and the economic well-being of society. While transaction costs in the overall economy include virtually all of the output of certain sectors (e.g., advertising, law, accounting), the payoff for any particular business from reducing its own transaction costs is similarly impressive. An estimate of transaction costs for a major U.S. manufacturing firm indicates that they comprise at least 35 percent of total expenses.6 This estimate, as well as that for the overall economy, is a lower bound for actual transaction costs, because substantial

5

the direct production/transportation costs associated with NNP are estimated by subtracting from NNP indirect business taxes, government expenditures (minus national defense): wholesale trade; retail trade; financial services; corporate profits in manufacturing, transportation and public utilities, and “other;” net interest, and contributions to Social Security. These costs compose 35 percent of NNP, hence, transaction costs make up the remaining 65 percent. The same percentage is applied to GNP on the assumption that capital consumption costs are relatively uniform across industries. This is a lower bound for actual transaction costs because the direct production/transportation cost estimate includes indirect labor and other costs in industries classified as “direct production and distribution” sectors.

6

Two of the authors, working with the controller’s office of a manufacturing company, analyzed and categorized production costs (direct costs for manufacturing) and non-production costs. Current accounting procedures include material relationship cost components in direct production costs. The difficulty in differentiating these costs resulted in the selection only of non-production costs as relationship costs in the final estimate. Hence, 35 percent is the minimum percentage of total costs that are attributable to relationship costs.

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transaction costs are embedded in the accounting figures even for direct expenses for goods and services. In addition, manufacturing firms usually have lower transaction costs than do other firms because of the predominance of resource allocation in manufacturing enterprises toward direct production. Suppose that such a firm earns a profit of 10 percent on cost, and that transaction costs could be reduced 20 percent. This reduction of 20 percent, or seven percent (20% x 35%) of total cost, would increase profit on cost to 18.3 percent, an 83 increase in profit rate. Hence, even relatively modest reductions in transaction costs can have a major impact on the bottom line. The potential payoff of healthy relationships is clearly significant.

Adam Smith’s Vision Adam Smith described the superior efficiency and productive power of the market system as a way of organizing economic activity. He saw the “invisible hand” of enlightened self-interest as automatically directing productive resources to their best economic use. In his 1776 book, An Inquiry Into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations, Smith argued that the true wealth of a nation lies in its ability to produce and consume goods and services, and that a market system can produce greater wealth for its citizens than any known alternative. Time has proven Smith’s argument correct. In view of our discussion above, we would argue that this results from the fact that a market system keeps the ratio of transaction costs to the gains from specialization lower than other economic systems. But Adam Smith was a moral philosopher, and his vision of the superiority of market capitalism as a way of organizing economic activity extended beyond concepts of efficiency, productivity, and wealth to social imperatives. In 1776, the First Industrial Revolution was in its infancy, and in Smith’s native Scotland the market system was slowly displacing the old feudal system. Responding to the gross inequality of wealth and power in the world around him where social class rather than ability or justice determined the quality of life, Smith argued for a moral philosophy based on justice, benevolence, and sympathy. Because it encouraged

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frequent, free human interaction in seeking out parties with whom to conduct business, the market system provides its participants with greater opportunity to develop the moral virtues and individual qualities of trust, mutual sympathy, and benevolence that improve society. Smith believed the market system to contain two mechanisms that induce individual participants to become better people. First, because of competition from other producers, to be successful in a market economy, one “must acquire superior knowledge in his profession, and superior industry in his exercise of it. He must be patient in labor, resolute in danger, and firm in distress....Probity and prudence, generosity and frankness, must characterize his behavior upon all ordinary occasions.”7 Success, Smith said, depends on the “good opinion of their neighbors and equals....The old proverb, therefore, that honesty is the best policy, holds in such situations, almost always perfectly true.” To be successful, a producer must keep his customers satisfied by being honest, prudent, generous, and frank. “Man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only,” Smith said. “He will be more likely to prevail if he can interest their self-love in his favour.”8 Hence, self-interest and competition, supported by the rule of law, induce individuals to develop the virtues that help form the basis for a moral society. While self-interest and competition encourage market participants to develop the virtues of honesty and trust, Smith believed that there were higher moral virtues inherent in human nature. “How selfish soever man may be supposed,” Smith wrote, “there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it except the pleasure of seeing it.”9 “All the members of human society,” Smith claimed, “stand in need of each other’s assistance....Where the necessary assistance

7

Adam Smith, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, ed. D.D. Raphael and A. L. Macfie (1759; reprint, Oxford: Clarendon Press 1976) pp. 55, 63.

8

__________ An Inquiry Into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations, ed. R.H. Campbell, A.S. Skinner, and W.B. Toad (1776; reprint, Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1976), pp. 2, 25, 26.

9

__________ The Theory of Moral Sentiments, p. 9.

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is reciprocally afforded from love, from gratitude, from friendship, and esteem, the society flourishes and is happy. All the different members of it are bound together by the agreeable bonds of love and affection, and are, as it were, drawn to one common centre of mutual good offices.”10 The mechanism of the market that induces individuals to adopt these higher moral virtues, Smith believed, was an unintended consequence of enlightened self-interest: the general increase in the prosperity of all members of society, the growth in the wealth of nations that accompanies the growth of markets. This increased wealth, Smith argued, encourages individuals who had already developed the virtues of honesty and trust to develop the higher moral virtues of benevolence and sympathy; they could better afford to care about others. In summary, Smith believed that the major characteristics of the market system—frequent interaction of individuals in the market, competition, and the creation of wealth—would combine to create a happier, more moral society. Has Smith’s vision been fulfilled? The capital accumulation and technological improvements set in motion by the First Industrial Revolution, encouraged and facilitated by the institutions of market capitalism, helped people realize that Smith’s vision of a general prosperity is superior to any other economic system. There also evolved a higher moral integrity within these markets than in other systems, though far less emphasis has been place on this aspect of market capitalism.11 In fact, the very technological changes in production, distribution, and management that led the fulfillment of the first part of Smith’s vision created conditions in the market system that made it more difficult to fulfill the second part. The factory system, mass production, standardized parts and products, mass marketing and distribution, and bureaucratic management that developed as a result of the early industrial revolutions reduced the opportunity and necessity for the kinds of frequent human interaction that Smith observed in the early days of

10

Ibid. p. 85.

11

Two notable exceptions are found in Walter Lippman, The Good Society (Boston: Little, Brown & Company 1943) and George Gilder, Wealth and Poverty (New York: Basic Books, Inc., Publishers 1981), who argue that capitalism is a golden-rule system based on mutually beneficial exchange, where an individuals well-being is increased by others’ good fortune, and where individuals willingly give (invest) for uncertain returns.

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capitalism. Direct interaction among buyers and sellers in local markets gradually gave way to department store, catalog, and supermarket shopping. Improvements in transportation that widened markets and increased economic efficiency further separated buyers and sellers. Factory production of standardized goods replaced local production of customized goods. Impersonal corporations replaced personal proprietors. Rigid bureaucratic rules replaced flexible decision-making, even in small businesses. Rising wages were accompanied by declining job satisfaction. A Third Industrial Revolution (the high-tech revolution or “Age of Technology”) is changing all that. Ease of communication, greater flexibility in production and distribution, and increased market size, along with greater affluence, have made it both possible and necessary for buyers and sellers; producers, suppliers, and customers; management and employees to engage in more frequent interactions. The demand for sophisticated customized products made possible by new technology requires closer economic relationships between producers and customers. The production of such products requires closer economic relationships between managers and employees, and among employees themselves. Increased affluence means that producers in markets that were previously dominated by one-time purchases are now competing with each other for repeat business. Hence, economic relationships have taken on increased importance. The replacement of adversarial economic relationships with cooperative relationships, as evidenced by strategic alliances and networks, requires frequent interaction between firms. Programs designed to reduce employee turnover and monitoring costs require healthy economic relationships between managers and employees. The importance to the economy and society of healthy economic relationships based on trust, mutual respect, and honesty is increasingly recognized by business and economic leaders. Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve Board, made this idea the theme of his 1999 Harvard Commencement Address. His advice to graduates included these comments: “At the risk of sounding a bit uncool...your success in life, and the success of our country, is going to depend on the integrity and other qualities of character that you and your contemporaries will continue to

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develop and demonstrate over the years ahead. A generation from now...you will want to be able to say that whatever success you achieved was the result of honest and productive work, and that you dealt with people the way you would want them to have dealt with you. “Civilization...rests on that premise.... This implies mutual exchange to [the] mutual advantage among free people. Coercive societies and coercive relationships among people rarely enhance the state of what we call civilization.... I could urge you all to work hard, save, and prosper. And I do. But transcending all else is being principled in how you go about doing those things.... I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealings and strict adherence to the view that for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.... “Trust is the root of any economic system based on mutually beneficial exchange. In virtually all transactions, we rely on the word of those with whom we do business.... If a significant number of businesspeople violated the trust upon which our interactions are based, our court system and our economy would be swamped into immobility.... “Our system works fundamentally on individual fair dealing.”12 Everyday one sees a new book or hears new advertisement that emphasizes the importance of economic relationships. Healthy economic relationships are the key to business success. If economic relationships are to be healthy, they must be based on trust, competence, responsibility, and integrity, moral virtues that Adam Smith believed would be promoted by the market system. If the current industrial revolution is successful, Smith’s complete vision of market capitalism will be closer to fulfillment. For that to happen, relationship economics must play a key role.

12

Alan Greenspan, “The Value of Values,” Commencement Address, Harvard College, 1999, Harvard Magazine, July-August 1999, pp. 68-69.

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2 CROSS-CULTURAL CONSIDERATIONS IN RELATIONSHIP THEORY Taira Koybaeva Richard L. Ratliff

While cross-cultural considerations complicate relationships, basic principles governing the health and management of relationships hold. Today’s global environment and the many cross-cultural encounters we all have in almost every aspect of our lives increases the importance of understanding cross-cultural considerations in human relationships. Adherence to basic, universal relationship dynamics provides workable strategies for dealing with such complications. This presentation addresses cross-cultural complications in the context of basic relationship dynamics. The first section of the paper discusses the origins and importance of such problems, and then suggests a general strategy for potential solutions. The second section outlines the requirements and basic economics of healthy and unhealthy relationships. A third section suggests specifically how cultural differences complicate relationship dynamics. The fourth section outlines four generally recognized, well-established frameworks identifying specific dimensions for considering cultural differences. The final section recommends strategies for resolving complications resulting from such differences, the key element being to understand the complications in the context of the relationship.

The Cross-Cultural Problem Cross-cultural complications are manifested as difficulties in relationships. Were there no relationship, cross-cultural differences would 21

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have little importance. The term “difficulties” may suggest unpleasantness or conflict. Failure of voters in Holland and France to approve the proposed European Union constitution has resulted in both unpleasantness and conflict. Intercultural difficulties may also simply require greater care and attention than would be necessary in intracultural relationships. International business contracts may not be unpleasant or result in conflict, although they almost always require great care and attention due to significant differences between the behavioral, legal, and business practices in the different nationalities involved. Cultural differences also occur between organizations, even between families. The point is that cultural differences complicate relationships, increasing the risk to those relationships. The origin of the problem then is in cultural differences. Such differences include different beliefs, behavior norms, cognitive traditions, religious and spiritual traditions, scientific and technological backgrounds, organizational practices, verbal and nonverbal communication practices, etc. These differences cause different expectations and interpretation of relationship experiences. Consequently, the relationship may be ineffective, almost certainly will be less efficient, and could be destructive. The importance of the problem increases as the consequent impact increases and as the scope of the impact increases across more aspects of the lives of those involved and to more people. A delay of a few hours in the shipment of production materials from a foreign supplier is likely to be less important than a delay of several months. Consider as a second example the free trade agreements among Latin American nations. The scope of impact is huge, making such agreements of great importance, and making cultural differences hampering successful negotiation of significant importance. Resolution and reconciliation of cultural differences is not always easy. Even understanding the differences, though an important beginning, does not necessarily resolve or reconcile them. One’s culture has such a profound influence over an extended period as to largely determine much of one’s basic nature, certainly the expression of that nature, but also, importantly, one’s beliefs and attitudes, values, behavior norms, activities, even the manner of speech and movement. Culture molds fundamental aspects of one’s personality and identity. Where the interface between cultural

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determinants interferes with the relationship, resolution and reconciliation must acknowledge and respect the fundamental character of the differences. Asking the parties to simply give up part of their cultural heritages, even to modify them, is to ask them give up or modify their innate personalities, part of their identities and value as human beings. The best strategy to resolution/reconciliation should preserve the parties’ cultural integrity, at the same time facilitating a healthy relationship. Only where the relationship is imperative and the cultural differences irreconcilable is the strategy likely to require some compromise of cultural integrity. Even then, the compromise may be small if the parties recognize the importance of the relationship. An ideal strategy focuses on the relationship—the requirements of a healthy relationship—rather than on individual personalities and cultural differences. The parties can then devise relationship strategies consistent with their otherwise different cultural backgrounds. The emphasis is on the relationship, not the person.

Healthy and Unhealthy Human Relationships This section on healthy and unhealthy relationships is based upon research being done at Utah State University (Ratliff, et al, 2005). There are two criteria for any healthy human relationship—mutual benefit and mutual pleasantness. If both parties are not benefited, approximately equally, then the relationship is considered asymmetrical, imbalanced, and to some degree unhealthy. If the relationship is unpleasant for either party, the relationship is to some degree unhealthy. Four conditions are required for any healthy relationship, i.e., these four conditions cause the two criteria to be satisfied. The four conditions are (1) intersection of purposes, (2) mutual respect, (3) mutual trust, and (4) adequate means are available to conduct the relationship. Where the four conditions are present, the two criteria will be present. The four conditions, then, are sufficient for a healthy relationship. Where any one or more of the four conditions is compromised, then one or both of the criteria will suffer. The four conditions, then, are necessary for a healthy relationship. Intersection of purposes occurs in two ways. Firstly, parties may hold

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purposes in common—both striving for the same thing from a relationship. For example, two people may seek companionship from each other. Secondly, parties may hold symbiotic purposes, i.e., they hold difference purposes, but need each other to satisfy them both. Examples would be buyers-sellers, teachers-students, and physicianspatients. In each of these examples, the different parties have different purposes for the relationship, but each needs the other. The term respect refers to attributes people hold in high esteem. The three attributes most important in relationships are competence, integrity and responsibility. Competence refers to particular abilities a person brings to a relationship—technical skills and people skills. Technical skills are those required for the person to play his/her role in the relationship. For example, a teacher must possess knowledge of the subject to be taught and also teaching skills. People skills include communication skills and appropriate manners. Integrity requires values acceptable to the other party in the relationship and behavior consistent with those values. Both are required. Even in a person behaves consistently with his/her professed values, if those values are unacceptable, then the person will be considered to lack integrity. Suppose a person believes that thievery is acceptable and is indeed a thief. Few people would agree that the person has integrity in the usual sense of the term. On the other hand, suppose a person professes honesty and is a thief. Certainly, the person would lack integrity by almost any standard. The third attribute people respect is responsibility to the relationship. A responsible person is dependable, one who fulfills his/her role in the relationship and keeps promises large and small. Trust refers to how one feels he/she will be treated in a relationship. We trust others whom we believe will help us and not harm us. Not surprisingly, we tend to trust people whom we respect. The final required condition for a healthy relationship is the means to conduct the relationship. These means include the products required of each party and the processes required to produce and deliver those products. Indeed, competence is demonstrated and trust earned in the product. A second means is a system by which the parties can communicate with one another. This system may be meetings, e-mail,

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telephone conferences, or some other means, but without the tools to communicate, the relationship cannot proceed. A third means is a conventional behavior system, i.e., a system of manners agreeable to the parties involved. The final means is administrative support—physical support, organizational and physical access to one another, and cultural support for the relationship. Further, healthy relationships are more beneficial and less costly than unhealthy relationships, providing the motivation to establish healthy ones and fix unhealthy ones. This principle is true for individuals and also for organizations, suggesting important implications for organizational management. It is true not only in economic or financial measures, but also with respect to emotional and psychological benefits and costs, even with respect to physical and emotional energy. We all experience the high emotional costs of unpleasant and harmful relationships as well as the benefit and joy of pleasant and beneficial ones. We know the physical and emotional drain of difficult relationships and physical and emotional boost of good ones. As a final point on the economics of relationships, a person’s total array of relationships may be considered as a “relationship portfolio”. The point is to cultivate healthier ones, improve unhealthy ones, and to avoid very poor ones. The result would be greater aggregate benefit and lower aggregate cost, generating the resources for more relationships and enlarging the total portfolio, if desired. It is not surprising that individuals and organizations with strong relationship portfolios tend to thrive while individuals and organizations with weak portfolios tend to struggle. While there are exceptions in some power-based social, economic, and governmental systems, even in these systems, costs of sustaining poor relationships based upon greed, hate, bigotry, power, etc. eventually becomes very large, thereby weakening the parties involved.

Cross-Cultural Complications Varying cultural dimensions complicate the conditions determining the health of relationships. Cultural dimensions affect all four required conditions. Multiple cultural influences on a single relationship

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complicate the conditions, making them more difficult to achieve. For example, purpose often tends to be culturally defined. After the dissolution of the Soviet Union, the United States and Russia began undertaking joint defense and space research programs. There was a distinct cultural difference in how each side perceived the purposes of the joint programs. U.S. program managers concentrated on the pragmatic outcomes of the programs, such as the development of particular technologies, while Russian program managers, although interested in the development of the technology, had a much broader sense of purpose. To the Russians, the joint efforts offered an opportunity to develop a relationship and understanding between the two nations. Therefore, when Russian technology sometimes fell short from the U.S. perspective, U.S. decision makers considered it fair to cancel the projects. The Russians felt such cancellation as a blow to their national pride. Because neither side was willing to fully accept the other’s purposes, the intersection was weak and the relationship strained from the beginning. The origin of the difficulties was different cultural perspectives. Similar examples can be given for the other conditions—respect, trust, and means. The point is that cultural differences complicate the achievement of the conditions and make relationships more difficult. Such differences can even cause the termination of otherwise promising relationships.

Major Frameworks for Considering Cultural Differences The major proposition in this paper is a new comprehensive framework for analyzing and building cross-cultural relationships. This framework is an accurate diagnostic tool and a map that lays a solid foundation for any cross-cultural relationship. We define cross-cultural relationships broadly, ranging from those between corporations of different cultures, newly weds coming from different social backgrounds, and relationships involving international diplomatic relations. This section of the paper very briefly outlines well-known frameworks widely employed to analyze cross-cultural relations. Each framework sets forth particular dimensions helpful in understanding differences

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between cultures, especially in understanding underlying cultural sources of tension and sometimes conflict. We begin with a brief discussion of the definition of culture and then proceed to the frameworks themselves. Definitions of Culture In the early 1950s, A. L. Kroeber and F. Kluckhohn reported more than 300 definitions of culture in their classic work, Culture: A Critical Review of Concepts and Definitions (Kroeber and Kluckhohn, 1954). This book heralded the beginning of the globalization trend and was published at a time when the concept of culture was increasingly recognized by social scientists and others encountering cross-cultural complexities in their studies and professional lives. Kluckhohn finally concluded in the 1964 that culture is “the total way of life of a people, the social legacy the individual acquires from his group’ (Kluckhohn, 1964, p. 24). Glen Fisher calls culture a “mindset,” or “the different patterns of perceiving and reasoning” (Fisher, p. 2). Fisher stated that culture is not innate but learned. In other words, no culture is naturally determined, but rather consists of external influences molding one’s perception of life and the world. Dutch researcher Geert Hofstede similarly stated that culture is the “collective programming of the mind” (Hofstede, 1984, p. 21). This perception influences the content and manner of our communication, the connecting link among human beings. Correct behavior in one culture is not necessarily correct in another; what is morally right in one culture may not be morally right in another (Victor, p. 6). Note that culture is understood within the context of a group or society to which it belongs. Even when considering one’s individual cultural background, that background refers to a societal context. Cultural Dimensions The cultural mindset and way of life, and their pervasive influence on human communication, behavior, and relationships may better be understood by identifying characteristics, or dimensions, common to a particular culture. Complications in cross-cultural relations may better be understood by comparing these dimensions, identifying differences, and analyzing consequent misunderstandings and conflict among those dimensions.

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Several leading researchers have identified particular differences complicating cross-cultural relations. Edward T. Hall stressed differences such as those in rhythm and body movement, the degree to which communication is understood in context, relational action chains, and the content and manner of education (Hall, 1976). Benjamin Lee Whorf and Edward Sapir emphasized that the language one uses largely determines one’s thoughts, their bounds and meanings, and defines what is and what can be communicated. Language not only is an important element of culture, but expresses it, manifests it, and largely determines it. This may be termed linguistic determinism (Sapir, 1921, 1931, 1949; Whorf, 1956). Hofstede, F. Kluckhohn and F.L. Strodbeck, and Fons Trompenaars and Clarles H. Turner all have examined particular differences in cultural dimensions affecting cross-cultural relations. Hofstede pointed out differences in individualism vis a vis collectivism, acceptance of authority, tolerance for uncertainty, time orientation, work ethics, deference to tradition, and masculine and feminine personality traits (Hofstede, 1998, 1998). Kluckhohn and Strodbeck emphasized value orientation with respect to our attitudes to our environment, time orientation, human nature, the goal of human activity, the nature human relationships, and the ownership of one’s “space” (Kluckhohn and Strodbeck, 1961). Trompenaars and Turner conducted extensive empirical examinations of cultural differences in attitudes toward rules vis a vis the relationship, individualism vis a vis communitarianism, emotive vis a vis neutral (non-emotive) behavior norms; clearly circumscribed vis a vis more inclusive relationships; respect for achievement vis a vis position; scheduling demands vis a vis relationship needs; and control vis a vis deference to the natural environment (Trompenaars and Turner, 1998). All of these studies help in the understanding of cultural differences and their effects on cross-cultural relationships. While they are extensive, covering many dimensions, they are of particular value in understanding cross-cultural complications in achieving the required conditions for healthy relationships. For example, a Latin American may not necessarily agree with a North American’s insistence upon rigid time schedules, but by understanding it as a cultural phenomenon, may more willingly accommodate the attitude. Likewise, the North American, by

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understanding the Latin American’s cultural need for establishing and maintaining relational bonds at each step of a process, may take measures to assure such bonds and perhaps to modify schedules, if possible and where necessary, to accommodate that need. By understanding each other’s cultural nature, the two can more easily overcome their tendencies to disrespect the other’s “irresponsibility” to the relationship. Indeed, they can understand that the other is acting responsibly, in their different ways, and by making efforts to accommodate each other’s cultural differences, they may increase their respect for one another. Similarly, by understanding the various dimensional differences among cultures, parties may overcome obstacles to the four required conditions and establish healthier relationships.

Recommended Strategies Two operational strategies may be employed to establish healthy cross-cultural relationships, both employing the underlying strategy of establishing the four required conditions. The first strategy is to differentiate the relationship from the individuals party to the relationship. By focusing on the relationship needs, the four required conditions, the parties avoid accusing and disparaging each other, and address intersection of purpose, mutual respect, mutual trust, and the means to conduct the relationship. The emphasis is on positive steps toward a healthy relationship rather than on potential and real individual “shortcomings” and hindrances. An understanding of cultural dimensions aids the parties in working toward the required conditions. Further, by knowing specifically what conditions are required, they can assure themselves they are addressing the right issues. For example, it is easy to identify reasons why joint Russian-U.S. defense and space projects can’t succeed, because of serious conflicting cultural differences that manifest themselves in individuals, organizations, and institutions. On the other hand, by learning to address relationship requirements rather than cross-cultural impossibilities, successful Russian-U.S. defense and space projects have been undertaken, despite the differences. A second strategy may be employed when it otherwise may seem

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impossible to overcome conflicting cultural differences. For example, a particular manufacturing plant in California employed immigrant workers from many different countries on several continents. They spoke different languages and had very different cultural traditions causing disharmony and hurting productivity. Some workers held hostile feelings toward one another, person against person, group against group, making cooperation and teamwork virtually impossible. Efforts to assign workers to different tasks according to cultural background in order to decrease the opportunity for conflict, to encourage cultural compromise for the sake of the company, to teach the benefits of cooperation all failed. The answer came in the adoption of a separate, unique company culture based upon the principles of total quality management. Management undertook extensive training programs for every employee, every department, every division at every level of activity. A new TQM culture was established, a culture held in common by everyone in the company, a culture of excellence in which everyone could take pride. The new culture created common experience, values, behavior, and even language for all employees. The result was employee harmony, higher productivity, and ultimately the awarding of a national quality award. Many employees even spoke of instituting much of the new culture in their homes.

Summary This article argues that cross-cultural relationships are complicated by differences in various cultural dimensions, but that by understanding these differences in the context of relationships, potentially harmful differences can be overcome. The key is to understand the requirements for healthy relationships. Four causal conditions achieve two criteria for any healthy relationship. Violations of any of the conditions compromise one or both criteria and harm the relationship. There are two preferred strategies. One is to emphasize the importance of the relationship and the required conditions. The second is to employ a new, common, shared culture among the participants.

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References Adler, NJ Cross-Cultural Management Research: The Ostrich and the Trend,”Academy of Management Review, vol.8, no.2 (1983), pp.226-232. Brake, Terence, Walker Medina, Danielle Walker Thomas. Doing Business Internationally. The Guide to Cross-Cultural Success. New-York: Irwin Casse, Pierre, and Deol Surinder: Managing Intercultural Negotiations. Guidelines for Trainers and Negotiators. Washington, D.C.: SIETAR, 1985). Cohen, Raymond: Negotiating Across Cultures: International Communication in an interdependent world. (Washington, D.C: United States Institute of Peace Press, 1991). Fisher, Glen. Mindsets: The Role of Culture and Perception in International Relations. Yarmouth, Me.: Intercultural Press, 1988. Gudykunst, William B., and Y.Y. Kim Communicating with Strangers: An Approach to Intercultural Communication. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1984. Gudykunst, W.B., Y.-C. Yoon, and T Nishida 1987: The Influence of Idividualismcollectivism on perception of communication in ingroup and ougroup relationships. Communications Monographs, 54, 295-306. Hampden-Turner, Charles and Trompenaars, Fons. The Seven Cultures of Capitalism:Value Systems for Creating Wealth in States, Britain, Japan, Germany, France, Sweden and the Netherlands (New-York:Doubleday, 1993). Hofstede, Geert. “Culture’s Consequences: International Differences in WorkRelated Values. Beverly Hills, Calif.: Sage, 1984. Hofstede, Geert. “Attitudes, Values and Organizational Culture: Disentangling the Concepts,” Organizational Studies, vol 19, no. 3 (1998) pp. 477-492. Hofstede, Geert and Bond, Michael H. “The Confucius Connection: From Cultural Roots to Economic Growth,” Organizational Dynamics, vol. 16, no.4 (1998), pp.4-21. Hofstede, Geert. Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind (London: McGraw-Hill, 1991. Hall, Edward T. Beyond Culture. Copyright 1976, 1981 by Edward T. Hall. Used By permission of Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc., New York. Hall Edward T. The Hidden Dimension (Doubleday, 1966 and Anchor Books, 1969). Hall Edward T. The Silent Language (Doubleday, 1966 and Anchor Books, 1973). Herskovitz, M.J. Cultural Antropology. New York : Knopf, 1955. 31

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Hofstede, Geert. Cultures and Organizations: Software of the Mind (London: McGraw Hill, 1991). Kluckhohn, C. Mirror for Man: A Survey of Human Behavior and Social Attitudes. Greenwich, Conn.: Fawcett, 1964. Kluckhohn, F., and Strodbeck, F.L. Variations in Value Orientations (Evanston, IL: Row, Peterson, 1961). Kroeber, A.L., and Kluckhohn, F. Culture: A Critical Review of Concepts and Definitions, Peabody Museum Papers, vol. 47, no.1 (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University, 1952). P.181. Pucik Vladimir. “Globalization and Human Resource Management,” in V. Pucik, N. Tichy, and C. Barnett, (eds.), Globalization Management: Creating and Leading the Competitive Organization. (New York: John Wiley & Sons, 1992), pp. 6184. Ratliff, Richard. Human Relationships. Working Manuscript. USU University Press, Summer 2005. Scollon, Ronald and Suzanne Wong Scollon Intercultural Communication A Discourse Approach. Blackwell Publishers, 1995. Trompenaars, Fons and Hampden-Turner, Charles. Riding the Waves of Culture: Understanding Cultural Diversity in Business, 2d ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1998). Victor, David A. International Business Communication (New-York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 1992).

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3 THE ROLE OF LONELINESS, NETWORK SUPPORT AND NETWORK INTERFERENCE IN UNDERGRADUATE WOMEN’S HOMESICKNESS Jacki Fitzpatrick Du Feng Duane Crawford

Introduction Homesickness occurs when individuals have disruptions in residences, schedule routines or interactions with significant others (e.g., Beck, Taylor, & Robbins, 2003). Homesickness does not only occur when there is a loss of contact with others, but also when the nature of contact is less positive than desired. Thus, homesick individuals might experience ruminations or longings for home and certain relational processes (e.g., Fisher & Hood, 1987; Kazantzis & Flett, 1998). Given that females are more oriented towards social relationships (Yildrim, 1997), their experiences with family and friends might be particularly relevant to their homesickness. Homesickness is not a unidimensional experience (Verschuur, Eurelings-Bontekoe, & Spinhoven, 2001). According to Archer, Ireland, Amos, Broad, and Currid (1998), there are two dimensions of homesickness among college students. Attachment to Home reflects a longing to return to familiar routines, locations and others; Dislike of the University reflects a dissatisfaction with the college environment. Similar to studies of summer camp (Thurber, Sigman, Weisz, & Schmidt, 1999) and boarding school (Fisher, Frazer, & Murray, 1986), homesickness can not only reflect a longing for home, but also a displeasure with one’s current environment. Thus, the present study 33

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focused on dislike homesickness. More specifically, we examined how loneliness, network support and network interference affected women’s dislike. Loneliness does not necessarily represent a lack of relationships, but rather a failure of relationships to meet personal needs (e.g., de JongGierveld, 1987; Duck, Pond, & Leatham, 1994). Undergraduates’ loneliness is associated with less intimacy in personal relationships (Wiseman, 1997). It seems logical that lonelier undergraduates would experience greater dislike for the college setting. Social support represents the perception of care and understanding from network members (Walen & Lachman, 2000). Support is associated with more positive affect and general life satisfaction. Walen and Lachman (2000) noted that network support can have a buffering effect, particularly for women. Thus, it seems logical that support for their academic pursuits would be associated with less dislike. In contrast to support, social interference represents aversive actions such as criticism, irritation and expressed disinterest (Manne, et al., 2003). Such interference is associated with more depressive symptoms (Cranford, 2004) and negative relationship appraisals (Solomon & Knobloch, 2004). Given its undermining nature, it seems logical that interference in academics would be associated with greater dislike homesickness. Thus, the present study addressed the following research question: To what extent do loneliness, network support and network interference contribute to dislike (for the university) homesickness?

Method Participants (n=93 female students) completed anonymous questionnaire packets. The mean age was 22 years (range=18-47). Two percent were freshmen, 26% were sophomores, 28% were juniors, 43% were seniors and one percent had an “other” educational status. The majority (90%) of respondents were Caucasian-American; the remaining 10% of the sample were Hispanic-American, African-American, Native American and/or did not identify a specific racial/ethnic background. Twelve percent lived in dormitories, 82% lived off-campus and five percent did not specify their housing arrangements.

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The respondents completed Archer et al.’s (1998) 11-item dislike subscale of the Homesickness Scale (“=.86) and the 20-item revised UCLA Loneliness Scale (Russell, Peplau & Cutrona, 1980; “=.92). To assess support/interference, they completed a modified version of Ruehlman and Wolchik’s (1988) Social Support and Hindrance Inventory. The scale was originally designed to assess support/ interference for personal projects, but the nature of the projects was unspecified. For this study, we modified the scale such that the items referred specifically to academic pursuits in college. The subscales were completed in reference to family and friend. Due to multicollinearity, the family and friend items were combined. Thus, we had a final subscale of network support (20 items) and a subscale for network interference (20 items). The subscales had adequate reliability (support “=.87; interference “=.83).

Results To address the research question, we conducted a three-step regression. To control for the potential effects of age and educational status, we entered these variables in the first step. These variables only accounted for three percent of the variance (R2 adjusted=.01, p >.05). We entered network support and network interference in the second step: these variables accounted for an additional 12% of dislike variance (total R2=.15, R2 adjusted=.11, p <.01). Third, we entered loneliness, which accounted for an additional 29% of the variance (total R2=.44, R2 adjusted=.40, p <.001). In the final model, beta values indicated that network interference (â=.23, p<.01) and loneliness (â=.60, p<.001) were significantly related to dislike homesickness (Table 1). The demographic variables and network support did not emerge as unique predictors.

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Table 1 Regression of homesickness on demographic, network and loneliness variables.

Demographic variables Age Educational Status Network variables Support Interference Loneliness variable Loneliness R2=.44 R2 adjusted=.40 ** p <.01

B

SE B

B

-.02 -.07

.03 .26

-.06 -.02

-.03 -.27

.11 .11

-.03 -.23**

-.72

.11

-.60***

(p<.001) *** p <.001

Conclusion Although homesickness is presumed to be very common, there is little empirical research on the experience in general (Stroebe, van Vliet, Hewstone, & Willis, 2002) and women’s experience in particular (Thurber, et al., 1999). The current study indicated that dislike homesickness is salient for undergraduate women. This homesickness dimension is associated with greater loneliness and network interference in academics. Given their aversive nature (e.g., Cranford, 2004; Wiseman, 1997), it makes sense that these factors would exacerbate dislike for the university. In contrast, it was surprising that network support did not ameliorate such dislike. Indeed, Acitelli (1996) noted that social support is more salient to women than men, so it seemed reasonable to expect an association to homesickness. It’s possible that there is a presumption of support, so that its presence is not particularly meaningful. That is, if women expect network members to care about their academic pursuits, then they might take such support for granted. Thus, support does not impact their perception of campus life (dislike homesickness). 36

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Alternatively, support might be valued, but is considered separate from the college experience. This premise would be consistent with crossrelationship studies. For example, Bryan, Fitzpatrick, Crawford, and Fischer (2001) found that friend support for female’s romance was unrelated to female affection for the romantic partner. Similarly, academic support from family and friends might have little impact on female student’s displeasure with the campus environment. Further research will clarify the linkages among affective and network contributors to homesickness.

References Acitelli, L. (1996). The neglected links between marital support and marital satisfaction. In G. Pierce, B. Sarason, & I. Sarason (Eds.), Handbook of social support and the family, (pp. 83-103). New York: Plenum. Archer, J., Ireland, J., Amos, S., Broad, H., & Currid, L. (1998). Derivation of a homesickness scale. British Journal of Psychology, 89, 205-221. Beck, R., Taylor, C., & Robbins, M. (2003). Missing home: Sociotropy and autonomy and their relationship to psychological distress and homesickness in college freshmen. Anxiety, Stress, and Coping, 16, 155-166. Bryan, L., Fitzpatrick, J., Crawford, D., & Fischer, J. (2001). The role of network support and interference in women’s perceptions of romantic, friend, and parental relationships. Sex Roles, 45, 481-499. Cranford, J. (2004). Stress-buffering or stress-exacerbation? Social support and social undermining as moderators of the relationship between perceived stress and depressive symptoms among married people. Personal Relationships, 11, 23-40. de Jong-Geirveld, J. (1987). Developing and testing a model of loneliness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53, 119-128. Duck, S., Pond, K., & Leatham, G. (1994). Loneliness and the evaluation of relational events. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 11, 253-276. Fisher, S., Frazer, N., & Murray, K. (1986). Homesickness and health in boarding school children. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 6, 35-47. Fisher, S., & Hood, B. (1987). The stress of the transition to university: A longitudinal study of psychological disturbance, absent-mindedness and vulnerability to homesickness. British Journal of Psychology, 78, 425-441. Kazantzis, N., & Flett, R. (1998). Family cohesion and age as determinants of homesickness in university students. Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal, 26, 195-202. 37

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Manne, S., Ostroff, J., Sherman, M., Glassman, M., Ross, S., Goldstein, L., & Fox, K. (2003). Buffering effects of family and friend support on associations between partner unsupportive behaviors and coping among women with breast cancer. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20, 771-792. Ruehlman, L., & Wolchik, S. (1988). Personal goals and interpersonal support and hindrance as factors in psychological distress and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 55, 293-301. Russell, D., Peplau, L., & Cutrona, C. (1980). The revised UCLA Loneliness Scale: Concurrent and discriminant validity evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 39, 472-480. Solomon, D., & Knobloch, L. (2004). A model of relational turbulence: The role of intimacy, relational uncertainty, and interference from partners in appraisals of irritations. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 795-816. Stroebe, M., van Vliet, T., Hewstone, M., & Willis, H. (2002). Homesickness among students in two cultures: Antecedents and consequences. British Journal of Psychology, 93, 147-168. Thurber, C., Sigman, M., Weisz, J., & Schmidt, C. (1999). Homesickness in preadolescent and adolescent girls: Risk factors, behavioral correlates, and sequelae. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 28, 185-196. Verschuur, M., Eurelings-Bontekoe, E., & Spinhoven, P. (2001). Construction and validation of theHomesickness Vulnerability Questionnaire. Personality and Individual Differences, 30, 11-19. Walen, H., & Lachman, M. (2000). Social support and strain from partner, family, and friends: Costs and benefits for men and women in adulthood. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 5-30. Wiseman, H. (1997). Interpersonal relatedness and self-definition in the experience of loneliness during the transition to university. Personal Relationships, 4, 285-299. Yildrim, A. (1997). Gender role influences on Turkish adolescents’ self-identity. Adolescence, 32, 216-231.

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4 WHAT IS HOMOPHOBIA? MEN AND VULNERABILITY Kerry R Cronan

Abstract Modern convention has accepted that the term ‘homophobia’ refers to a fear relating to homosexuality. Especially this term is used in reference to men’s fear of intimate or sexual relations with each other, in particular in Western, or more especially Anglo-Celtic societies. This paper contends that this understanding is a derived perspective and has overtones of a political dimension. Whilst there is a need for a persuasive dimension in sexual politics, this cannot override the veracity of the psychological understanding of the dynamic of the human experience. This paper will argue from etymological, historical, cross-cultural and dynamic perspectives that the understanding of homophobia has a deeper and more pervasive implication relating to fear of intimacy among Anglo-Celtic men. Thus the modern convention of the terminology of ‘homophobia’ may be culturally or societal specific. This has the potential to damage the accurate focus of the desired therapeutic change needed to redeem Anglo-Celtic men especially. It is argued that the culturally derived fear of close male relationships, reinforced by a cultural indult in their lifespan, can leave Anglo-Celtic men – and maybe men of other cultures - damaged in a continuous dimension, if left unchallenged.

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Introduction I propose that most men in Anglo-Celtic cultures experience a generic emotional impoverishment that stems from inhibitions that are culturally formulated around gender and either wittingly or unwittingly passed on from generation to generation. This emotional impoverishment can commence at or soon after infancy and is perpetuated and encouraged by both families and societies. These culturally formulated gender inhibitions influence most, if not all males throughout their lives in terms of their emotional growth and their ability to experience freedoms in tenderness, vulnerability, fragility, lateral thinking, gentleness, intimacy and depth of friendship as well as relationships, both heterosexual and homosexual. From my clinical experience and that of some colleagues with whom I have discussed this matter I have found that these inhibitions are so ingrained that many men are rigid and unable to achieve satisfactory long-term change in their gender transition needs, especially through individual therapy, but also through group therapy. Even in those who are able to achieve satisfactory change, reversals to male gender stereotype forms of behaviour are common, if not endemic. Indeed, it has been suggested that these issues of endemic male behaviours are so entrenched that they are often missed in therapeutic contexts, at least in the United States (Pasick, Gordon & Meth, 1990). I am of the opinion that, regarding the men I have worked with therapeutically, I have observed that this “impoverishment” in male development results in unrecognised grief and emotional deficiency in all areas of relationships, including romance, friendships, the workplace and fathering of their children. This emotional deficiency has pervasive effects also in areas such as negotiations – whether these are local, domestic or international in nature. Thus Horrocks (1994) has claimed what many colloquially perceive to be a “crisis” in masculinity, at least in Anglo-Celtic cultures. I propose to explore the genesis of this emotional impoverishment of masculinity, arguing that it impacts on all dimensions of male development and relationships. This impoverishment results in a deep sense of unresolved grief for many, if not all men, which is not easily understood by them. Understanding why and how this has occurred is critical if men are to resolve this grief and achieve emotional

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emancipation (Lee, 1991). This understanding also has the potential to help improve the way men relate with others, particularly their partners and children, and can thus help to break this cycle. As Lee (1991, p.39) lamented, regarding the key issues of fatherhood, “If we men would slow down enough to feel the loss of our childhoods and grieve…. we just might be able to become the fathers we never had.” I intend to give particular reference to the term ‘homophobia’, which is usually used regarding males. I will focus on issues regarding men, as this is the key issue I will consider in this study. The context discussed will focus on Anglo-Celtic cultures.

Personal Story The following personal narrative comes from a man who participated in a six-year men’s group I facilitated. He presented this to a public gathering in early 2000. I believe that it highlights these themes, offering a very personal perspective. (Edited and names have been withdrawn): “I come from a working class background. I am the eldest boy in a family of seven. I have an elder sister, a younger brother and two younger sisters. I don’t have any memories prior to the age of seven. My dad was a labourer in the building industry from Monday to Friday and a gardener on the weekends. So pretty much he worked to provide for his family 6 days a week, working ten - eleven hours a day. Once us kids reached school age mum worked as well. Mum worked five days a week in a packinghouse, six hours a day. For as long as I can remember dad was either working or relaxing at home with his flagon of beer, packet of Pall Mall plain cigarettes and his horse form guidebook. Whenever dad was “relaxing” mum would hustle us to another room. At about age ten, I began to recognize that dad’s drinking had intensified, he began to get angry at mum, acts of physical violence occurred between them and the family dysfunction turned to a complete breakdown in relationships. At this point I unconsciously assumed a parental role with all family members. So I had now grown into a teenager, but I found my world was in turmoil. My schooling began to deteriorate, I began 41

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to smoke cigarettes, and I began to drink alcohol heavily and occasionally turned to drugs - marijuana, LSD. I got myself a part time job in the local supermarket to fund this and also turned to theft as a servant to supplement what was a much-needed income. The job also provided me with an excuse to be away from home. It was about this time that I became aware of my own emptiness “A Darkness” and to cope I withdrew from everything and everyone. As the years passed me by my sadness and anger grew. I left home, made the big break. But soon found I moved back then left home, but moved back, moved out, moved back, moved out, my confusion grew. I attempted to take my own life, which was really a cry for help - I knew I needed help but didn’t know how to ask for it. All the while I couldn’t find the answer to my darkness. At the age of eighteen I began a career as a meat retailer i.e. a butcher. I found I was really uncomfortable in a career dominated by men. I discovered I was different from them but I did enjoy the chance to kick back and have some fun. At this time I became aware of what I had learnt from my parents’ work ethic, of hard working and what that meant to me. After completing my apprenticeship I moved into a management role with a team of four. I became very successful, soaking up the role and the so-called prestige that it offered. I then took on more and more responsibilities through promotions and found myself in my mid twenties managing a multi-million dollar business with a team of twenty-five people. As great an achievement as this was I was still shadowed by my emptiness and the sadness of my life - what was I missing? My girlfriend and I enjoyed a two-year courtship and married in January 1989. We then bought ourselves a mortgage and the first child was conceived. My life was at crisis point. I had all this greatness in my life but I felt like shit inside, I’d totally withdrawn from people, rejecting support - “ I’m okay Jack” - I couldn’t bear for anyone to see me not coping. Until one day in a meeting with my Store Director, I cracked and out flowed this emotion. I don’t recall much of that meeting but I do know that was the day I began to live. It was that day that I first witnessed any kind of support for myself, but most importantly support from a man. So I began a journey into my own personal growth. 42

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Initially I did this through group workshops with my wife. I wouldn’t have gone without her. At once I realized I wasn’t alone in my emptiness. It became a time when I started to look outside myself and to others to help me discover myself and what I am. Through this process I found I had a choice. Over the next five plus years I experienced a variety of personal growth courses I dabbled in massage, bioenergetics, flotation, visited naturopaths, osteopaths, and homeopaths. It was about this time that I stopped weight training at the gym. See I’d spent years gaining strength, being focused on being bigger, stronger, and more powerful but what I didn’t realize was it was just an extra layer of protection from my own hurt, a hurt that burned me so much I had to train six days a week, two hours a day to be able to carry it around. But underneath it all was still the darkness, a cold darkness I associated with caves. My career blossomed and I gained promotion which meant a move inter islands for myself, my wife and my son who was now two. From here I worked six days a week all hours day and night. My relationship with my wife started to disintegrate, same with my son. I got sick with a thyroid problem, wasn’t sleeping, I was a wreck. Then one day I chose, I chose myself and my family - my wife and son. And I resigned and we emigrated to Brisbane, Australia from New Zealand.

The conclusion to this story is included in the later part of this chapter.

Cultural Attitudes The relationship between the emotional impoverishment of masculinity and the build-up of unresolved grief needs to be explored from a cultural perspective. This is particularly in terms of the emotional limitations placed on males in their intimate bonding in early childhood and maintained throughout the developmental process (Pasick et al, 1990). This can be understood as a deficit of cultural attitudes and values, rather than an impoverishment solely of the father-son relationship. This subtle deficit of cultural attitudes is presently also influenced by a cultural 43

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confusion that continues to grow with the infusion of alternative ideas, which then become established as dictums in some areas of the Men’s Movement, folklore, and in the media (Schwalbe, 1995). One example of this is how “liberation”, in terms of emotions, has been defined by men. Through my clinical experience, some men have indicated that they are “liberated” because they are able to hug their male friends. However, on deeper questioning it becomes apparent that they are in fact still uncomfortable in expressing their emotions and vulnerability with their “close friends”, or indeed their partners. I contend that creating a cultural environment in which there is a freedom for males to engage in deep and meaningful relationships with other males, resulting in a shift towards enrichment is important if this otherwise unresolved deficit grief is to find resolution. Further, this emotional impoverishment will affect all male relationships, in particular personal, but also functional relationships, such as in the workplace. The latter areas may be perceived in issues such as stress rather than an identified deficit in the closeness of relationships. The recent inadequate dictums of gender role change, seemingly considered by many as sufficient in the gender role reconstruction of masculinity, can become adopted as an unreflected part of the repertoire of modern masculine gender reconstruction, often without consideration for the associated skills, resources and commitment required for adequate gender role change by men. This often results in men being caught between the “old ways” of masculine culture and the “new wave” of expectations of masculinity, at least in Anglo-Celtic societies. From my perspective, there is a lack of reflection and scrutiny about these new expectations. I believe that significant and thus sufficient attitudinal and cultural change does not occur in many recent approaches to male gender role reconstruction, although there may be superficial changes for both the men and their partners. This can be seen in the readiness of males to express their emotions through touch with one another on sporting fields yet, in other circumstances, such touch can cause embarrassment and discomfort (Horrocks, 1994). Another example is that while we have seen a growing trend for some males to assist with childrearing and domestic duties (Silverstein and Auerbach, 1999), this does not necessarily equate to major shifts in a male’s emotional freedom. Reflecting on masculine sexuality in at least

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some cultures, Brooks and Levant (1997 p. 258) appeal for “more attention to how normative male socialization contributes to nonrelational sexuality in all its forms, including the Centrefold Syndrome, pornography addiction, compulsive womanising, promiscuity, and sexual harassment and abuse”. This lack of reflection in the change process is considered by Moore (1992, p.304), a leading lecturer and best-seller writer in the areas of archetypal psychology. Moore observes that, “Care of the soul is not a project of self-improvement nor a way of being released from the troubles and pains of human existence…. We care for the soul solely by honouring its expressions, by giving it time and opportunity to reveal itself, and by living in a way that fosters depth, interiority, and quality in which it flourishes. Soul is its own purpose and end.” Seidler (1989, p.2) is concerned that the rationalism of modern social theory fragments the possibility of achieving changes to the gender role construction of masculinity. Male gender role development occurs within a cultural context and there is a mosaic of issues that must be considered within this context for any meaningful change to the construction of masculinity to be achieved. Accordingly, the present pressure that is being put on men to change, often leads to bewilderment about change, as men and as fathers. To avoid confusion and inadequate models of change, there is an urgent need for critique.

A Model The following hierarchical (but not necessarily sequential) model was developed through my clinical practice and involvement in the Men’s Movement. It represents how individual change may occur through social and therapeutic contexts (adapted from Cronan, 2000). As well it can be used in the development of approaches to individual and group psychotherapy with men. In the following table, the nature of the changes is outlined and the processes are described underneath. For each level, the first line describes the nature of the change and the second the theoretical or underlying paradigm. The discussion following outlines the theoretical framework that underpins this model.

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Table 1. Cronan Hierarchical Model of Masculinity Change and Development 1. Machismo/Bravado ................ > Self-Exploration Mytho-Poetic and Ritualistic 2. Self-Exploration ..................... > Self-Awareness Consciousness Raising 3. Self-Awareness ....................... > Politicisation Structural/Political Change and Men’s Well-Being 4. Politicisation ........................... > Sensitivity Support Groups and Men’s Centres/Helping Agencies 5. Sensitivity ............................... > Intimacy Therapeutic Experiences of Intimacy 6. Intimacy .................................. > Personal Transformation Intimate Experiences Among Men 7. Personal Transformation ........ > Relationship Transformation Transfer of male intimate experiences to relationships 8. Relationship Transformation .. > Cultural Transformation Structural Recognition in Cultures of Adequate Masculinity Change

Gender Roles Philaretou & Allen (2001) firmly establish historical, social and cultural perspectives of masculinity: “Throughout the history of human civilization, different social groups, cultures, and subcultures have evolved that developed their own male standards according to the specific needs and circumstances of their people. Such standards were, and still are, geared toward serving the needs, and sometimes the caprices, of the elite male ruling class. It is erroneous to refer to a single male ideology or male standard, or, for that matter, a single mode of masculinity” (p. 310). Media content and everyday conversations indicate that there is a momentum for change in gender roles today, particularly in most Western societies (Horrocks, 1994). Philaretou & Allen (2001) opt for a “deconstruction of essentialist notions of male sexuality and the

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reconstruction of a more balanced androgynous ideology” (p. 301). However, O’Neil (1999) warns, from his experiences in gender role workshops, that whilst it can be rewarding, the process of gender role change is not easy. The cultural emotional vacuum in the masculine area leads boys and men to be confused or adopt pressured and inadequate transformation in order to adapt to a male gender role ideal (Pasick et al, 1990). These consequences are perilous for male gender role reconstruction. This has a consequential effect for men who are fathers. To attempt to transform the role of fatherhood, without addressing the fundamental issues of male gender role reconstruction within specific cultural contexts is fraught with difficulties and may engender more confusion. The challenges of modern fatherhood will not be addressed merely by improving parenting behaviours that do not relate to the fundamental needs in male gender role reconstruction development (Philaretou & Allen, 2001). The core of this issue is the quality of how men relate to each other in meaningful ways, and in particular how they express this to each other. Unless men who are entrapped in inappropriate male gender role behaviours because of their cultural traditions change to appropriate adaptation to gender role reconstruction, the next generation will also be inculcated into inadequate gender role behaviours and thus continue the cultural crisis of the masculine gender role. (Philaretou & Allen, 2001)

Homophobia In order to further understand the issue of intimacy in male relationships, it is important to understand more fully what is meant by the term “homophobia” and its impact on men’s relationships with each other. Lehne (1995) has reflected that homophobia, literally fear of the same sex (Buchbinder, 1994), has both limited (albeit negated) discussion of loving male relationships, and led men to deny the importance of their friendships with other men. Lehne (1995, p. 334) laments “The expression of more tender emotions among men is thought to be characteristic only of homosexuals”. Buchbinder (1994, p.55) accepts that the word “homophobia” is currently understood as fear of, or hostility towards homosexuals. However,

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he reminds us of the origins of the word as identified in The Oxford Dictionary of New Words (1991) as a ‘fear or dislike of men’. Tulloch (1991 in Buchbinder, 1994, p.55) explained that the development of the word in the 1920s combined ‘the Latin homo (“man”) with the Greek phobia (“fear”)’. However, in the 1960s the word “homophobia” underwent a transformation of meaning whereby “homo” was aligned with “homosexual”, so that it now signified a ‘fear or dislike of homosexuals’. George Weinberg is credited with “reinventing the word ‘homophobia’ with its new significance” (p.55) of a dread (suggestive of an irrational fear) of being in close quarters with homosexuals (Buchbinder, 1994). Buchbinder (1994, p. 55) is of the opinion that Weinberg “merely popularised this meaning in his writing during the 1970s and that it was in fact the advent of AIDS that gave life to the reconceptualisation of ‘homophobia’ as the dread of being in close quarters with homosexuals”. In general, authors refer to ‘homophobia’ in terms of a sense of fear of, or hostility towards homosexuals, especially male homosexuals (Beane, 1990; Connell, 1995; Cornwall and Lindisfarne, 1994; Hearne, 1992; Lehne, 1995; Long, 1990). In common parlance in several countries the coinage of the word ‘homophobia ‘ has been popularly used in recent years to signify any fear of homosexuality – but it would appear to be used mainly in reference to males. This is also true of professionals from my experience. This is exemplified in the following, “Homophobia is the irrational fear and intolerance of homosexuality and homosexual persons…”, and furthermore, that “most males [thus reject] any notions of softness, warmth, caring, and sensitive and emotional expressiveness.” The authors concluded that the emancipation of such attitudes happens in the “healthier male” who is able to “rid himself of the irrational demands of traditional masculinity” (Pollack and Levant, 1998, pp.712). The authors understood this to mean overcoming “his fear of looking nonmasculine to others” (Pollack and Levant, 1998, p. 74). It would appear that “nonmasculine” refers to “the irrational fear and intolerance of homosexuality and homosexual person” referred to above. Hansen (1992, p. 43), from her historical review of loving, masculine same-sex relationships, strongly argues that, ‘The term homosexual, with its emphasis on same-sex genital contact directed toward orgasm, is particularly inadequate as a means of encompassing and understanding

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the historical variety of same-sex relations’. Indeed, it is critically important in the area of same-sex relations to unpack both the history and derivative meanings of the word ‘homophobia’. Frost (1999, p.169) argues that ‘homophobia’ (in the sense of the word used to describe fear of homosexuals or homosexuality), is a fear experienced by all people as opposed to mostly males. Meanwhile Lehne (1995) claims that although ‘homophobia’ is “still widespread in American society, it is increasingly a fear of only a minority of people” (p.330). What these arguments fail to do is enlighten the discussion about what are the dimensions of contemporary masculine behavior, and do not allow for the integration of authentic masculinities into societal perceptions. Moreover, they are contradicted by Hansen’s (1992) historical study of male loving relationships in Antebellum New England, pre Civil War. Hansen’s study did not find that a fear of homosexuality was true of attitudes in close masculine relationships of that era. She concluded that such attitudes are related to the twentieth century, at least in the United States (Hansen, 1992). At a cross-cultural level, Williams (1992) did not find such attitudes of fear of homosexuality among the American Indian and Asian societies studied. In my own travels in many cultures of the world and in my movement among the migrant groups in Australian society, I have observed a greater freedom in sharing demonstrable affection in relationships among men, such as holding each others hands, in an unlikely sexual manner, in earlier Thai and Papuan New Guinean societies and contemporary men in India and China having their arms around each others shoulders, as well as men in many cultures who are quite practiced in kissing each other, in a caring show of public affection. Indeed, in my wide experience in encounter groups in Victoria, Australia, three decades ago, encouragement was directed towards men in particular, to experience physical and sensual closeness with each other, although this often carried a tag of the need to work through fear of the recognition of this as a perceived and thus feared potential sexual experience, in particular amongst men. These experiences usually led to less fettered development of warmth in relationships between the males in the group – towards both females and males, as well as provide an enriching environment for females to deepen their experiences of intimacy with each other.

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Williams (1992) laments that ‘close friendship’ is the ‘inevitable casualty’ of the fear of American (and other Anglo-Celtic) men to be ‘emasculated’. He searched for alternatives to the alienation inherent in the lifestyle of the patriarchal nuclear family. Williams identified that the alienation is not obviated by ‘“being in love” all of the time’ (Williams, 1992, p.194). This is not to limit the possibilities of romantic love, but to place it in the perspective of wider emotional needs in life for men and women and the need for other close friendships. As the Dalai Lama and Cutler say (2002, p. 84): “If what we seek in life is happiness, and intimacy is an important ingredient of happier life, then it clearly makes sense to conduct our lives on the basis of a model of intimacy that includes as many forms of connection with others as possible.” Further cross-cultural and historical research may foster a clarification of the dynamics of the fear of intimacy in same-sex relationships among men – and the accuracy of the role of fear. Using such studies in AngloCeltic monocultural research may also help to define further possible misappropriations of the dynamics of the term ‘homophobia’. Williams (1992, p. 187) proposed that ‘intimate relationships among men are realistic and possible...and....these kinds of relationships have indeed existed in many other times and places’. The emasculatory fear that is induced, ostensibly by fear of homosexuality (which equates among men of some cultures to be the same as closeness to another male) (Rubin, 1985), is not regularly demonstrated in Williams’ cultural studies of male-male friendships. However, he does demonstrate within these communities a tolerance of sexual activity that occurs amongst some of the close male friendships. This factor of some same-sex sexual activity, incidental or protracted, may be no different from the male friendship patterns of modern Anglo-Celtic and other cultures (Lehne, 1995). However, in cultures that are suppressive and suspicious of emotionality in a context of sexual activity between close male friends, it may be difficult to identify, define and estimate. Thus it appears that much historical research needs to continue if we are to adequately explain the roots of the social development of the roles of masculinity and fatherhood in Anglo-Celtic societies. There is also a need to accurately portray the development and experience of the role of masculinity from a global variety of cultural perspectives, in

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order to reflect viable opportunities that could enhance the role of masculinity according to the zeitgeist needs of particular cultures. As a result of the lack of clarity in the derivation of the dynamics of close loving relationships between males and the consequent lack of a general adequate intimacy skill set as argued above, I am not content to rest with the accepted view of homophobia as relating solely to fear of homosexuality. Rather, I argue that this view is a new phenomenon, as described by Tulloch (1991) and suggested by Hansen (1992), that disguises the need for men to recognise their own need of intimate closeness to each other which is precluded by a learned fear of closeness to the same male sex which is then sexualised. This opportunity of closeness was deprived in the developmental years because of cultural values and attitudes and has left many AngloCeltic males with an undue burden of deficits and confusion in their ability to form adequate relationships (Pasick et al, 1990). This does not deny the need to address the political, social and psychological dynamics associated with the issue of the fear and rejection of homosexuality in our Anglo-Celtic societies (Kitzinger, 1987). Rather, it is placing the relationships of men with each other in a more proactive and productive perspective. An alternative conceptualisation of ‘homophobia’ by some members of the men’s movement returns to the original meaning of the word. The original Greek of ‘homos’, meaning ‘the same’ and ‘phobos’, meaning ‘fear’ is more likely the derivative of the English ‘homophobia’. ‘Homophobia means fear of others like oneself. The men’s movement has claimed this word for itself by redefining it to mean one man’s fear of getting emotionally or physically close to another man. The overcoming of homophobia is not to be confused with anything homosexual. Rather, it is to be likened to the way European men greet with a warm hug, in contrast to the way American men exchange a brief handshake. It means that it is all right for fathers to hug and express positive emotion toward their sons….; (Williamson, 1991, p.104). It has also been argued that because contemporary men in our culture are performance oriented and competitive, they can conveniently ignore their deep felt needs for tenderness and closeness to each other (Biddulph, 1995; Brooks, 1998; Buchbinder, 1994; Pasick, 1990; Philaretou & Allen 2001; Seidler, 1992;).

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In my experience, particularly as a therapist conducting men’s groups, even when men address their fear of being sexual with another male, the fear of being emotional or affectionate with another male still remains, even though there has been a clear acknowledgement that their fear of being sexual is unrealistic. It seems that the real fear remains because they are afraid of being vulnerable and tender with each other. This fear, as argued earlier, results from pervasive cultural values and attitudes about what and how men should behave and feel (Dudley & Stone, 2001; Pasick et al., 1990). Lest we believe that this misunderstanding is only present among males, it is of interest that some of my male group experiences have shown that at least some females related to the male participants had similar ‘homosexual fear’ regarding men expressing closeness to each other. This is highlighted by Logan (1991, p.19) who told his wife “about a very intimate men’s group meeting’ among men whom he knew not to be homosexuals. She told him ‘Did it ever occur to you that you’re the only member who doesn’t know the other guys are homosexuals?’” The price of the Anglo-Celtic masculine emotional impoverishment is clearly outlined by Pasick and colleagues (1990, p. 154) who declare, ‘It is a myth that men have less capacity for feeling than women’. They conclude that the consequences of the cultural mandate for men to repress feelings “are monumental” and include the following (Pasick et al., pp. 154-5): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

decreased sensitivity to their feelings decreased sensitivity to the feelings of others intolerance or confusion by others’ expression of feelings the rational becomes too highly valued feelings are disguised the avoidance of intimate, committed relationships the use of addictive substances to avoid unpleasant feelings men’s emotional restrictiveness contributes to stress-related disorders.

I argue that there is a need to clearly articulate and separate the dynamics and issues involved in homosexuality from issues of emotional responsiveness between two males. This appears to be exceedingly important for understanding and contributing to the adequacy of intimacy experiences for boys and men.

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Historical Context Connell (1995, pp.186-9) sources the historical context of the configurations ‘we now call masculinity’. He concludes that the following developments established implications for gender reconstruction for the Anglo-Celtic era of social reconstruction: The decline of medieval Catholicism “…produced new understandings of sexuality and personhood in metropolitan Europe… A cultural authority of compulsory heterosexuality” followed the displacement of monastic denial as the “most honoured form of sexuality”. As well, the emphasis on individuality in expression and relationship with God began the growth towards the ‘autonomous self’. This then had profound meanings for the developing construct of masculinity (Connell, 1995, p.186). The development of overseas empires in the Atlantic seaboard states, together with other empires resulted in segregating the men involved in “soldiering and trading”, affecting how masculinity was constructed (Connell, 1995, p.187). The “growth of cities [as] centres of commercial capitalism… a new setting for everyday life… anonymous and coherently regulated”, together with the emergence of an “entrepreneurial culture… institutionalized a form of masculinity, creating and legitimating new forms of gendered work and power” (Connell, 1995, p.187). Connell also suggested that “a shift in medical ideologies of gender… led to the requirement of a personal identity as a man or woman” (Connell, 1995, p.188). Connell argued that the large scale civil wars in Europe resulted in a questioning and undermining of the legitimacy underpinning gender orders (Connell, 1995, p.189). Whilst the Quakers defended “equality for women in religion… the patriarchal order was consolidated by.... the strong centralized state” (Connell, 1995, p.189), looking to masculine prowess to defend its status. This was maintained in the subsequent World Wars and during the Cold War. LaRossa (1997. p.1) described the “Machine Age” as “so significant, so cataclysmic” that it forever changed the heart and soul of America. He proposed that the role of fatherhood that had developed as “economic provider, pal, and male role model” became institutionalized in the era of the 1920s the 1930s. Thus what had been common practice in the

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role of fatherhood developed into a stereotyped expectation that was maintained in the passing over to forthcoming generations of men. It has been argued that men’s history is “less chartered [than the] twenty-five years of intensive research by women’s historians” (Mintz, 1998, p.3). Further, that much has been written about men’s public lives, but little about men’s private lives “…especially their roles in families as fathers and husbands” (Mintz, 1998, p.4).

Fathering While the importance of fatherhood has been successfully argued, (Lamb 2001), it would seem that we still have not been able to arrive at appropriate models that give a meaningful understanding and direction to the role of fatherhood. Dudley and Stone (2001, p. 6) identified that ‘The role of fathers has changed dramatically over the past two centuries’ and suggested that the two major influences have been “…transformations in the economy and major societal changes”. From my clinical experience, I believe that there is a link between men who have been able to move beyond society’s traditional expectations of them and the quality of their relationship with their children. I have found that these men learn and continue to possess greater warmth of expression, vulnerability, tenderness and depth of enjoyment in fathering their children. Emotional impoverishment of males is obviously bound to infiltrate into all dimensions of male development in Anglo-Celtic societies. Thus, to enhance the valuing of fatherhood, it is my thesis that the masculine domain needs to be re-examined if we are to understand the deep significance of the male gender role as it is understood and accepted in many different ways, particularly for the present generation. It may then be possible to understand some of the historical precedents, to explore the consequent deficits and remind us of the characteristics that can be valued and useful in our inherited masculine gender role, as well as provide accurate and meaningful pathways for necessary change (Brooks & Levant, 1997).

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Conclusion It is within this framework of considering a ground plan of masculine gender role development in Anglo-Celtic societies that we can consider a beginning to an operational basis that has the potential to change the momentum and direction of planning, as well as the enactment of improved relationships among men. It has been argued that this will contribute to substantial changes in our societies, including how men relate as lovers, friends, members of the workforce and as fathers of a new generation of males, in particular. Of course, the developed changes towards the adequacy of masculinity gender roles could also have broader effects, such as less tension in relationships, better functioning in government, more achievable peace in our world, as well as a limiting of the destructive forces that affect our environment (Philaretou & Allen, 2001) The vast array of research and, to a lesser extent, the programs and skills training available, do not seem to have been successful in clearly identifying the contributive factors that define satisfactory contemporary masculinity developmental needs. Indeed, we are still in the stages of experimentation. Or is it also that we have not addressed the key issues of male gender reconstruction that might free the gender identification of men to bring greater depth to their gender role? Purely behavioural or skills development will not satisfactorily achieve this, and may indeed frustrate the process. Consciousness then becomes a key issue. From consciousness a freedom of emotionality can follow from deep within. Meantime, I argue, there is a need to have clear terms – one which honours the need for both psychological dynamics and political persuasion regarding the acceptance and treatment of male homosexuals in accepting societies – and another or others that attempt to understand male affection and intimacy dynamics and the traditional role of fear in terms of same sex loving or affectionate relationships – both sexual and especially non-sexual. The opportunities for social change are the prerogative of choice for any culture. Psychologists need to prepare the necessary knowledge base and develop therapeutic skills that can enhance the opportunity for the change in the masculine role that is prevalent as a perceived need in some cultures of the postmodernist era. As well, other cultures may also

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need to develop their own awareness as the industrialisation and technological revolutions, with their accompanying potential for social changes, impel cultures to reassess relationship issues and boundaries, and question their own need for change in the traditions of gender roles and the adequacy of relationships. To conclude, I would now like to return to the narrative presented at the beginning of this chapter. What becomes evident from this personal story is the freedom that this man experienced which allowed him to rejoice over the birth of his second son and improve his emotional relationship with his elder son. From my clinical experience, it is when the barrier of rigid fear of vulnerability is lifted, that many relationship issues can be resolved. In particular, when fathers and sons are able to recognise the often-intense hurt, it explodes into a deep grief that is not evident in their otherwise “everyday” way of relating, as is often first presented in the clinical setting. They say the first two years after emigrating are the toughest and I’d have to agree. I needed help firstly with my work and secondly with my relationship with my wife and son. As far as a job was concerned I decided to seek guidance and I discovered a psychologist in Paddington who specialized among other things in Career Counselling. His name was Kerry Cronan. I am pleased to say it was the beginning of a wonderfully profound relationship. My career counselling paid off and I am still at present a butcher!! But definitely with eyes wide open to a more meaningful career. Some time after my career was sorted out my wife and I met Kerry on Marriage Guidance Counselling after which I started seeing Kerry on a one to one basis. From there Kerry suggested it might be a good idea that I join a Men’s Group he was setting up. I had no idea what that meant but I agreed. From here on my life changed completely for the better- for myself and for those around me. Men’s Group is a special group of men who are dedicated to their own support and the support of others. This support comes in forms of physical, oral and is a truly wondrous experience. For me Men’s Group means so much. Here are some examples: 1 Saved my marriage. I can honestly say that without the support of my group members I would be single.

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2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

I have discovered that through male contact I was softly able to realize myself from the deep feelings of hurt I had. Develop a freedom to accept unconditional loving support from men. Freely express my hurt of loss and grieving for my relationship with my father and then grow and accept the love of my father. Forgive my father. Learn about feelings, acknowledge them, what they mean to me and to others. Sensitivity and how mine affects others and myself and how others are sensitive also. What it means to me to be a man. On a real positive note Men’s Group Therapy gave me the strength to rejoice over the birth of my second son.”

References Beane, J. (1990). Choiceful Sex, Intimacy and Relationships for Gay and Bisexual Men. in Men and Intimacy: Personal Accounts Exploring the Dilemmas of Modern Male Sexuality. Abbott F. (Ed) Freedom, Ca: The Crossing Press. Biddulph, S. (1995) Manhood: An action plan for changing men’s lives Sydney: Finch Publishing Boswell, J. (1980). Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century Chicago: University of Chicago Press. Brooks, G.R. (1998). A New Psychotherapy for Traditional Men San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers Brooks, G.R., & Levant, R.F. (1997) Toward the Reconstruction of Male Sexuality: A Prescription for the Future. in Levant, R.F. & Brooks, G.R. (Eds.). Men and Sex: New Psychological Perspectives. New York: Wiley. Buchbinder, D. (1994). Masculinities and Identities. Carlton, Vic: Melbourne University Press. Connell, R.W. (1995). Masculinities St. Leonards: Allen & Unwin. Cornwall, A. & Lindisfarne N. (1994). Dislocating Masculinity: Comparative Ethnographics. New York: Routledge.

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Cronan, K.R. (2000). Cultural Effects of Dissimilitude of Male Emotional Experience and Expression. Unpublished article presented at a symposium: Intimacy Among Men – Experience and Expression. APA Convention, Washington, August 8, 2000. Dudley, J.R & Stone G. (2001). Fathering at Risk: Helping Nonresidential Fathers. New York: Springer Publishing Company. Frost, J.C. (1999). Working with Gay Men in Psychotherapy Groups. in M. P. Andronico, (Ed.). Men in Groups. Washington DC: American Psychological Association. Gordon, B. (1990). Men and Their Fathers in Meth, R.L. & Pasick, R.S. (Eds.). Men in Therapy New York: Guilford. Hansen, K.V. (1992). Our Eyes Behold Each Other: Masculinity and Intimate Friendship in Antebellum New England. in P. Nardi (Ed.). Men’s Friendships Newbury Park: Sage. Hearne, J. (1992). Men in the Public Eye: Critical Studies on Men and Masculinities 4. London: Routledge. His Holiness the Dalai Lama & Cutler, H. C. (2002). The Art of Happiness: A Handbook For Living Sydney: Hodder. Horrocks, R. (1994). Masculinity in Crisis: Myths, Fantasies and Realities. London: The Macmillan Press. Kitzinger, C. (1987). The Social Construction of Lesbianism. London: Sage Publications. Lamb, M. (2001). Foreword in J.R. Dudley & G. Stone (Eds.). Fathering at Risk: Helping Nonresidential Fathers. New York: Springer Publishing Company. LaRossa, R. (1997). The Modernization of Fatherhood: A Social and Political History. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press. Lee, J. (1991) At my Father’s Wedding: Reclaiming Our True Masculinity. New York: Bantam Books. Lehne, G. K. (1995). Homophobia among Men: Supporting and Defining the Male Role. in M.Kimmel & M.Messner (Eds.). Men’s Lives. Needham Heights, Massachusetts: Allyn and Bacon. Logan, D (1991). Some Thoughts About My Feelings. in Francis Baumli (Ed.). Men Freeing Men: Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Male. Jersey City: New Atlantis Press. Long, J. (1990). Joining. in Men and Intimacy: Personal Accounts Exploring the Dilemmas of Modern Male Sexuality. Abbott F. (Ed.). Freedom, California: The Crossing Press. Mintz, S. (1998). From Patriarchy to Androgyny and Other Myths: Placing Men’s Family Roles in Historical Perspective. in A. Booth, & A.C. Crouter Men in Families:

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When Do They Get Involved? What Difference Does It Make? Mahwah: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Moore, T. (1992). Care of the Soul New York: Harper Perennial. O’Neil, J.M. (1999). The Gender Role Journey Workshop: Exploring Sexism and Gender Role Conflict in a Co-educational Setting. in M. P. Andronico (Ed.). Men in Groups. Washington DC: American Psychological Association. Pasick, R. (1990) Raised to Work. in R.L. Meth & R.S. Pasick (Eds.). Men in Therapy. New York: Guilford. Pasick, R.S., Gordon, S. & Meth, R.S. (1990) Helping Men Understand Themselves. in R.L. Meth & R.S. Pasick (Eds.). Men in Therapy. New York: Guilford. Philaretou, A.G. & Allen, K.R. (2001) Reconstructing Masculinity and Sexuality The Journal of Men’s Studies Vol 9, 3, 2001 pp. 301-321 Pollack, W.S. & Levant R.F. (1998). New Psychotherapy for Men. New York: Wiley. Rubin, L.B. (1985). Just Friends: The Role of Relationship in our Lives. New York: Harper and Row. Schwalbe, M. (1995). Mythopoetic Men’s Work As a Search for Communitas. in M.Kimmel & M.Messner (Eds.). Men’s Lives. Needham Heights, Massachusetts: Allyn and Bacon. Seidler, V. J. (1989). Rediscovering Masculinity. London: Routledge. Seidler, V. J. (1992). Rejection, Vulnerability and Friendship in P. Nardi (Ed.). Men’s Friendships Newbury Park: Sage. Silverstein, L. B. & Auerbach, C. F. (1999). Deconstructing the Essential Father. American Psychologist 54 (6), 397-407. Tulloch, S. (1991). The Oxford Dictionary of New Words: A Popular Guide to Words in the News. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Williams, W.L. (1992). The Relationship Between Male-Male Friendship and MaleFemale Marriage: American Indian and Asian Comparisons. in P. M. Nardi, Men’s Friendships. Newbury Park: Sage. Williamson, T. (1991). Men with Men: Friendships: Homophobia. in F. Baumli (Ed.). Men Freeing Men: Exploding the Myth of the Traditional Male. Jersey City: New Atlantis Press.

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5 CULTURAL CUES AND INTIMACY Kerry Richard Cronan

“The contours of private life in contemporary culture are shaped more by the discourse of “friendship,” particularly in its most heightened manifestation as “intimacy,” than by any other single discursive force. The quality of one’s life, according to commonsense, is determined by the kinds of friendships and modes of intimacy, in other words, is the absolute horizon of everyday life.” Mas’ud Zavarzadeh, The privatization of intimacy: Lawrence Kasdan’s ‘The Big Chill’”. The word intimacy is derived form the Latin intimare, “to make known,” and intimus, “innermost.” The dictionary defines it as a close personal relationship marked by affection, love, and knowledge of each other’s inner character, essential nature, or innermost self; complete intermixture, compounding, or interweaving.” The possible root of the word intimacy may come from the Latin derivative in-timere (not to fear). Thus intimacy can provide a safer channel for human communication and affection. However, this depends on the skills that we have and learn, as well as the explicit learning and refining of the cultural cues that are familiar, or need to become familiar to ensure the safety of trust and the quality of intimacy in relationships. Psychologists have evolved their own list of intimacy’s defining features: openness, honesty, mutual self-disclosure; caring, warmth, protecting, helping; being devoted to each other, mutually attentive, mutually committed; surrendering control, dropping defenses; becoming emotionally detached, feeling distressed when separation occurs. Sexual intimacy includes deeper physical dimensions. To intimate is to communicate with the sparest of signs and gestures, and at its root

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intimacy has the quality of eloquence and brevity. But intimacy also involves an aspiration for a narrative about something shared, a story about both oneself and others that will turn out in a particular way. Usually, this story is set within zones of familiarity and comfort: friendship, the couple, and the family form, animated by expressive and emancipating kinds of love. Yet the inwardness of the intimate is met by a corresponding publicness. Thus intimacy can more circumstantially also be experienced in public situations that, for example, involve patriotism; and rejoicing, as well as grieving in local life events. Karen Prager (“The Psychology of Intimacy”) describes the concept of intimacy in the following dimensions: 1.

There are many existing conceptions of intimacy (there is not one conception precise enough for research – but the basic concepts are more precise and researchable).

2.

Four functions contribute to a contemporary working definition of intimacy: • integrate the various current perspectives. • define the relationship between one locus of intimacy and another (the individual capacity or property of the interaction or relationship characteristic). • distinguish between the concept of intimacy and related concepts. • recognize the ultimate definition of intimacy is unobtainable at this stage.

3.

Intimacy is a multitiered concept – there are 2 basic concepts: • intimate interactions – private or personal dyadic sharing. • intimate relationships – a history of the interactions – the affection, trust and cohesiveness between partners.

4.

The criteria necessary for sustaining continued relational intimacy: • affection, trust and cohesiveness. 61

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Triandis in Triandis, Chen and Chan (1998) hypothesizes all humans carry all 4 four cultural cognitions: 1. Horizontal Individualism (individuals do their own thing but do not necessarily compare themselves with others). 2. Horizontal Collectivism (individuals merge with in-groups which are not subordinate). 3. Vertical Individualism (these are vertical individualists especially concerned with comparisons with others). 4. Vertical Collectivism (individuals submit to norms of in-groups and are willing to self-sacrifice for the in-group). Triandis notes that horizontals do not use much hierarchy, but the verticals use hierarchy. Kitayama observes a tendency to sample cognitions corresponding to the dominant cultural pattern. Thus different cultural scenarios offer opportunities to sample responses with different probabilities. Earley & Ang (2003) suggest that there many kinds of intelligence: • Cultural intelligence (CI) is the ability to be successful in interactions with others in different cultures. • CI has genetic, personality, and training elements, as well as cognitive, motivational and behavioral aspects. • Cognitive – includes knowledge of self, cultural environment and information handling and reasoning needed for effective interactions and ability to harmonize different aspects of novel cultural information with effective strategies. • Motivational – which is self-efficacy – includes confidence to do well in different cultural contexts. • Behavioral – the ability to acquire behaviors appropriate in the new culture which puts others in different cultures at ease. However, Intimacy and Culture are not easy concepts to grasp as admixtures. We each have an awareness of our own consciousness of both concepts in our own cultures (at least intuitively) which is also necessary as a foundation to bridge the cultural gap between cultures. Thus, shared learning is important (e.g. cross-cultural and intimacy training). Beyond this pragmatic learning there is a great opportunity to

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grow in richness of understanding of one’s own culture and views of intimacy through comparison with alternatives in other cultures. Monocultural intimacy skills have the potential to be enriched by the merging of various cultural cues of intimacy as appropriate to development in the changing cues learnt from other cultures. This has become more familiar in those countries that have absorbed migration from a variety of cultures. The incumbent culture usually adapts in the absorption process after an initial resistance to change. Additionally travel and the media have opened up distinct opportunities for exposure to alternative cues of intimate life. As well, accuracy in learning crosscultural cues of intimacy has the potential to decrease the tensions in cross-cultural dealings and communications between nations and cultures. It has become more urgent to be skillful in both monocultural and cross-cultural intimacy situations in rapidly changing and globalizing environments.

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6 MEXICAN LOVE STYLES Rozzana Sánchez-Aragón

Couple relations have been studied from various theoretical and empirical positions. Diaz Loving (1996, 1999) developed a theoretical model, which integrates biological, cultural, social and psychological determinants of the couple’s behavior. A crucial element of the theory is the socio-cultural component, which emphasizes the norms, rules and roles that guide and regulate human interaction, and are idiosyncratic to a particular cultural group. Once the organism has created its unique style of dealing with interpersonal stimuli, there is a whole life of interaction in specific settings and situations, which include the ascribed roles to play and the norms to follow for each type of relationship. Within the socio-cultural component, the rules set for the proper initiation, interaction, maintenance and possible rupture of relationships is specified in norms which are called socio-cultural premises of behavior (Diaz-Guerrero, 1967). Before tapping into the belief systems that guide human interaction in general and couple behaviors in particular, it is crucial to understand that each human being develops within a cultural macro system formed by a homogeneous group of people within a geographic region, characterized in terms of the objective cultural variables, such as religion, family values, attitudes or beliefs (Diaz-Loving, 1996). It is precisely through the socialization and enculturation of the objective and subjective components of culture that the socio-cultural premises of interaction materialize. Among the researchers who explain the bio-psycho-cultural dialectic processes that individuals experience, Díaz-Guerrero (1972, 1982) emphasizes the way in which a socio-culture offers a system of

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interrelated premises that nor the feelings, ideas and hierarchy of interpersonal relationships. In other words, the socio-culture offers a system of interrelated premises that are internalized by individuals in such way that they norm the feelings, ideas and behaviors by stipulating the types of social roles, the interaction of the individual in those roles, and the where, when, and with whom and how to play them. To measure socio-culture, Diaz-Guerrero (1967, 1994) developed an inventory of historic socio-cultural premises (HSCP) of the Mexican family based on simple and complex statements that provide the guide for the functioning, as well as the specific logic and behavior patterns accepted for a particular group. The genesis of the premises arises form the socialization and learning of norms perpetrated by authorized significant figures within a socio-cultural context (e.g. parents and the family). The functions of the premises are to provide infants with the symbols that facilitate interpersonal communication and establish the roots for the creation of interpersonal and group reality. In the field of personal relationships Diaz Loving & Sánchez Aragón (1998) developed an inventory of Historic-Socio-Cultural Premises of Couple’s Life (HSCPCL), based on an exploratory study in which they asked 120 subjects to indicate what they felt, thought and did, as well as, what they thought was the most appropriate way to act while interaction with their partners at different stages of the relationship. Using subject’s responses and a search through romantic Mexican songs, over 300 statements were obtained to describe the norms that should be followed while interacting within an interpersonal relationship. Subsequent psychometric analysis confirms 114 valid items divided in 9 dimensions. Another form to obtain the Mexican’s cultural philosophy in the area of personal or love relationships is through Lee’s proposal (1976). Lee developed a new and comprehensive approach that includes different forms of intimate adult affiliation. It includes people’s beliefs, how they experience love, whether it is heterosexual or homosexual, short lived or lasting, happy or unhappy. For this author, love can be divided into different categories, as colors, there are different shades and intersities, everyone has a favorite, but this does not make it better or worst. In his research, Lee (1976), proposed twelve different “colors of love”, sufficient to describe the experiences of most lovers. This love styles are

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the result of a systematic analysis of the love experiences of more than two hundred men and woman form the ages of sixteen to seventy. Each respondent completed a detailed record of his or her experience, beginning with recollections of childhood and the love relationships between the respondent’s parents. Although each respondent’s “love story” was unique in its details, when the many thousands of items of data from all the stories were coded and analyzes, certain similarities emerged. The basic “patterns” of love, named “love styles”, emerged in three basic patterns of loving, each of which is distinctly different from the other two. All other styles of loving seem to be variations on these three themes. It was at this point that Lee realized the striking similarity between love and color. There are only three basic hues of color: red, yellow, and blue. Varying combinations of these three “primary” colors can produce all other hues of color. Thus he called the three basic kinds of love “primary loves”. The combinations became “secondary loves”. Lee sees love styles as like lifestyles. They can change, and they can even be deliberately chosen. One immediate benefit of this approach is that it considers the past experiences of love. Then, it is possible to reevaluate them form a different perspective. The Primary styles described by Lee are: •

Eros: it focuses on the beauty of the object of love, best known as “love at first sight”. An immediate, powerful attraction to the psychical appearance of the beloved is the most typical symptom of Eros. There is a period of thrill, anticipation, and tension, then a period of acquaintance, enjoyment, and ecstasy, then a decline into disenchantment. It is superficial, motivated mainly by sexual drive, and quickly exhausted. Erotic lovers usually recall some physical symptoms of excitement, even shock, when first beholding the beloved. There is a chemical or gut reaction. Sweating, churning and tightening of the stomach, increased rate of breathing or heartbeat. It is often equally difficult form an erotic lover to control the sensations of touch. Most erotic lovers profoundly enjoy caressing and embracing. They are highly sensitive to the partner’s skin and find it difficult to ignore disagreeable sensations of touch.

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•

Ludus: Is the idea that love is a game to be played by partners who avoid taking their emotions too seriously. The ludic lover refuses to become dependent on any loved one, ot to allow any partner to make demands and become too involved. The golden age for ludus may still be ahead, a tie when individuals will be free to relate sexually to each other without fear of pregnancy or disease, and without moral and emotional hang-ups. Ludus has rules, strategies, and is reinforced for showing abilities or receives penalties for not playing the love game correctly. Mutually agreed ground rules are important because is rarely a neutral referee to arbitrate conflicts. Whan a partner ceases to be interesting or amusing, the game is called off and a more interesting partner is sought elsewhere. Once the game ends, neither partner has any claim on the other. During the game itself, the ludic lover makes no intense or exclusive claims on the beloved’s affections. Flatteries, coyness, coquetry, gallantry- are all part of the ludic strategy. Like te permissible deceits of a card game, the deceits of love can add suspense and excitement to the game. Ludus is most easily played with several partners simultaneously, and avoids becoming too involved with any one. Not telling each partner about others is as fair in ludus as not showing your hand in cards. But if one of the partners becomes too involved, a favorite device for avoiding the consequences is to tell him or her about the other partners. They are careful not to date any partner too often, and their encounters are generally casual.

•

Storge: Is love without fever or folly, a feeling of natural affection such as you might have for a favorite brother or sister. The storgic love never consciously selects a love partner. He is not “looking for love”. Instead, he selects activities he enjoys and thereby meets someone else with the same interests. They basically treat each other like “old freinds”. In this style, knowledge of, or acquaintanceship with the partner is acquired relatively slowly, through a process of social osmosis. By sharing activities, the storgic lover becomes familiar, bit by bit, with the partner’s personality. It is sometimes difficult to distinguish from ordinary friendship. In storge, if the absence of the partner makes the

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shared activities difficult or impossible, the lover will look for the partner’s return. Bu if the activity can be continued in the partner’s absence, this tends to partially substitute for the partner. Lovers who prefer storge as a love style are often those with happy memories of childhood. Lovers grew up expecting love to be a matter of companionship and shared activity rather than sudden discovery and ecstasy. By combining these three primary kinds of loving, three new styles are produced: •

Mania: The manic lover is “seized by the power of exclusiveness”, so that his life centers on the beloved day and night. He staggers helplessly under the spell of excruciating, tormented love. The slightest lack of response or enthusiasm from the beloved one becomes an occasion for anxiety and resentment. Each tiny sign of warmth or approval brings instant relief, but no lasting satisfaction. The manic lover’s appetite for affection is virtually insatiable. Unconditional surrender is the demand of mania. “I want all of you, physically and spiritually, and if there is more of you left over after I am completely sufficed, I want that too”. Manic lover’s desire to have it all, always makes them happy, creating a masochistic love. There is a propensity of manic lovers to create hazards and difficulties in the way of possible success and happiness with the beloved. The manic lover, analysts say, is not in love with the beloved but the death.

•

Pragma: This lover fells he/she can control his/her life and reaches their goals by his or her own efforts. These people are basically very practical. They are looking for a compatible partner. They know what kind of person would be the proper one for them and try to define him or her in terms of vocation, social standing, education, etc. The principal requirement is that the other person shares the same characteristics with him or her. The pragma lover starts looking for persons at his or her work or in places he/she will go. They go through as if they were alone, and try to fit the other into their daily life. He/she likes to compare him/her self

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with his partner’s friends. They carefully try to detect some warning signals of future problems. They want to know the other as well as they can in a certain period of time. Thus expect reciprocity in feelings, and sexual compatibility is very important, but is something they can work on, and if necessary, ask for professional help. They believe that a partner relationship is desirable for a happy life, but no essential, and that no one is worth. The trouble if things do no work out. •

Agape: This concept of love implies a duty or obligation to care for the other, whether you want to care or not and whether the love is deserved or not. It is completely altruistic and deeply compassionate love. Agape does not act out of expectations of, much less the demand for, reciprocity. The truly agapic lover gives the kind of loving which the beloved needs, regardless of the benefits or difficulties involved for the lover. The greatest gift of such a lover may be to step out the beloved’s life altogether and allow her to love and be loved by someone else. The totally agapic lover does not use unselfishness as a manipulative devide, secretly hoping that when the beloved sees how devoted they are to the partners welfare, they will drop any other attachment and give themselves to them alone. Agape is almost impossible as an affiliative love for mere mortals, since ideally it implies a universalistic concern embracing all mankind, not merely those people to whom one feels some especial attachment. Agape has the objective of overcoming narcissism. The essence of agape is to be able to promise to love now and in the future, regardless of how or whether one’s personal wishes may change. Although agape runs counter to what many believe to be man’s “natural selfishness”, and therefore requires great self discipline, humility, and self-sacrifice, it should not be concluded that agape love is necessarily painful.

Some researchers have focused on the development of scales to evaluate Lee’s typology (Hendrik & Hendrik, 1986; Borrello & Thompson, 1992; Murthy, Rotzien & Vacha-Haase, 1996; Erwin, 1999). Yet other studies have analyzed these expressions of love in relation to

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variables such as corporal self-esteem (Harris, 1990) or sexual experience (Hensley, 1996). Inother cases, researchers have assessed its applicability in samples different to Anglo-Saxons in order to estimate the cultural differences in the experience of love (Carreño & Mountain, 1995; Vine, Brown, Huynh, Stubbs, Amerson, León, Ruch & Martinez, 1998; Huang, 1999) and in other cases, culturally sensitive measures have been developed (Ojeda García, 1998) aimed at evaluating the differences in subcultures (Rivera Aragon & Díaz Loving, 2001; Flores Galaz, Díaz Loving & Rivera Aragón, 2001). In particular, Carreño, et al. (1995) carried ou validity and reliability study of the scale of Hendrick, et al’s scale (1986) in 545 Spanish subjects. Their results indicate varying levels of reliability (Cronbach alpha’s between.30 and.81) that don’t correspond to those obtained by Hendrik et al. In addition, when carrying out a factor analysis, 11 factors were found, of which five pure styles arose: agape, eros, mania, storge and pragma; and in case of ludus there was no consistency among the three items that fell in the factor. The authors conclude that eros and mania are the factors that are better achieved, because they are appropriate and stable. In a review of the area, Parra, et al. (1998) cites studies conducted on Latin samples (e.g. de León, Parra, Cheng & Flores, 1995) in which sex differences in endorsement of love attitudes among Latino community college students in Los Angeles are found. In essence, men were significantly more likely than women to give greater endorsement to ludus and agape. In their study, Parra, et al. 91998) hypothetized that Guatemalan men – in a medium sized town, mostly known for its cultivation of sugar and coffee, - would be significantly more likely than women to give greater endorsement to the ludus love style. Their findings show that males scores were higher than for females. The author suggest the need for more cross-cultural research in this topic between Latino and non-Latino populations, to identify patterns of love styles. In a study carried out in Asia, Huang (1999) evaluated 460 Taiwanese graduate students using the love attitude scale (Hendrick, et al. 1986). His results demonstrated a remarkable likeness in the development and response to the short form of the scale and its applicability to a broader cultural setting. This was possible de to exclusion of item which are ethnically and culturally heterogeneous or no commonly acceptable.

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It becomes clear from the three cross-cultural studies that there is a need to obtain a valid and reliable measure that identifies each of Lee’s styles clearly. On the other hand, from an ethnopsychological perspective, it would be nice to have an interest culturally sensitive measure for Latin subjects. In a praiseworthy attempt to achieve a Mexican love styles inventory, Ojeda García (1998) developed a scale to measure the six styles of love (Lee, 1976) in Mexico City. She started from an exploratory study that identified the thoughts, emotions and behaviors that people experienced in response to a paragraph which described each type of love. Of these results 180 items were developed, of which 80 discriminated, and were factor analysis, yielding the six internally consistent styles of love outlined in the theory. Finally, Rivera Aragon, et al. (2001) and Flores Galaz, et al. (2001) carried out two studies in showing the stability and robustness of the inventory in the urban area of Mexico (City of Mexico) and in the province of (Merida, Yucatan).

METHOD Objective The purpose of this study was to know the effects of addressing the socio-cultural premises regarding couple relations on the self reported love styles in Mexican people. Participants Questionnaires were distributed to 294 Mexican audlts, 149 males and 145 females, from 15 to 71 years (mean age = 33.46 years) from Mexico City. Participants were involved in a romantic relationship and the length of relationship ranged form 1 to 40 years (menas time in relationship= 9.54 years). Mos subjects had completed high school and 33.4% of the sample had no children. Materials Participants completed a questionnaire package measuring background information (sex, age, educational status, length of marriage, number of children) and the next measures:

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Inventory of Historic-Socio-Cultural Premises of Couple’s Life (HSCPCL) Participants were asked to indicate the degree to which they agree with 114 norms and rules about: conflict and separation, passion, company commitment and maintenance, sadness in romance, tragic love, culture and couple, separateness and lack of love and attraction. These dimensions represent the cognitive mapping of how couple relationships work within the culture. The nine factors together with their internal consistency, measured by Cronbach Alphas and examples of items are presented in the following section: •

•

•

•

•

•

Conflict and Separation has 29 items (á=.90) that refer to the role of conflict in the process of separation. It includes items like “Conflicts in the relationship lead to a diminished desire to be with couple” or, “If a relationship becomes unbearable, the best route is separation”. Passion (19 items; á=.84) incorporates physiological and emotional responses to passional and sensual couple stimuli. Examples are “Passion produces sexual desire” and “Passion requires unrelinquished surrender”. Company Love presents 14 items (á=.79) related to tenderness, serenity and companionship in long term relationships. Some items are: “Each sheep has its unique and only couple” and “Clean finances lead to long friendships”. Commitment and Maintenance, with 13 items (á=.81) refers to the responsibilities, stability and attentions needed in couple’s everyday life: “If you live with someone, you must fulfill certain responsibilities” and “Commitment gives the relationship formality and stability”. Sadness in Romance has 11 items (á=.74) regarding the negative emotional consequences of loosing that love: “When you have lost a love you suffer” or “In romance, any distance produces anxiety”. Tragic love presents 9 items (á=.70) having to do with a fatalistic perspective of love: “Love is written with tears” and “If your love is not corresponded you would rather die”.

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•

•

•

Culture and Couple is composed of 7 items (á=.62) which make mention to some very traditional beliefs and Mexican sayings regarding couples: “Passion is like brushfire: intense but short” and “Women are like shotguns, they should be kept behind the door and loaded”. Separateness and Lack of love (7 items, á=.62) evolves around lack of love and its effects on the dissolution of a relationship: “When couples withdraw, love has gone out the window” and “If you do not love your partner, you do not want to be with her/ him anymore”. Attraction (5 items; á=.64) centers on what one should do when one feels attraction: “If you see someone attractive, go for it” and “People show special attention for attractive others”.

Love Styles Scale In its short version, the inventory consists of 30 items (with alphas between.73 and.91) that reflect six different ways of expressing and living love with the partner. •

•

•

•

Storge: is a loving affection that develops slowly and is characterized by friendship and affection. This dimension includes items like: “My partner and I understand each other” and “I believe that my partner is the love of my life”. Agape: is characterized by a duty were no self-interest is present. “My partner is before me”, “My partner is more important than me”, “First I satisfy my partner needs and then mine”. Erotic: focuses on the relative physical attractiveness of the love object. Includes items like: “I feel a great sexual desire for may partner”, “I search for ways to having sexual pleasure with my partner” and “My partner attracts me sexually”. Maniac: this sort of love is similar to infatuation and has intense worry for the love object. The maniac lover tends to be jealous and possessive, requiring frequent reassurance of being love. “I constantly supervise what my partner does”, “I feel jealousy about everything my partner does” and “I ask my partner for explanations about everything he/she does”.

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•

•

Ludus: reflects a “free spirit” approach to love. This lover treasures variety. “I like to have many partners at the same time” and “I think we should have many partner because we only live once”. Pragma: the pragmatic lover has a conscious shopping list of desirable qualities in a partner. This factor contains: “I was very cautious before committing to my partner”, “I used my intelligence to choose my partner” and “You have to plan before choosing a partner”.

Results and Conclusions In order to assess the effects of the HSCPCL’s dimensions over love styles in males and females, regression analysis were conducted in order to identify the importance of cultural norms on Mexican couple’s love expression. The findings show that in order for men to express their love in planned, intelligent and analytic manner it is because they believe that it is important to have a long term relationship with somebody similar in likes and interests. Also, so that both men as females manifest this practical style it is because they consider that the physical attractiveness of the other one is a necessary element in the couple’s careful selection. In what concerns to the prediction of maniac lovers (males and females), the data indicate that it is necessary to believe that when in love it is necessary to suffer and that when there is not correspondence in that love it is better to die, because the separation produces a feeling of great despair. In order for males to use a friendly (storge) style it is necessary that they believe in the norms and social rules that indicate that each person has her corresponding couple and that openness is the key to maintaining a friendly relationship through time. Showing an alternate pattern, so that females show this style it is necessary that they believe that although conflict involves separation and distance, attraction is so important to them that it is enough to maintain long term couple’s relationships. The agapic, or altruistic lover, is characterized by a sense of obligation toward humanity. For them, reason and obligation always prevail in the face of desire and emotion, and this is evidenced in the obtained data. For males and females to show this style, depends on their lack of belief in the

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idea that love is a necessarily emotion or overflowing passion that causes suffering and guides to the desire of dying for the loved one. This prosocial lover has the quality of taking care peacefully of the other regardless of how much they love the other of how much thus deserve. It is totally altruistic and deeply compassionate love which does not expect reciprocity. In the case of the ludic style, it can be observed that in the norms which direct this style, in males include the belief that love doesn’t imply staying in a relationship, that one doesn’t have to experience pain in the relationships, and that in the end, everything is a game. In the prediction of erotic love for males, it is observed that it is necessary they believe that passion is an intense situation of sexual desire surrender. For females it is required that they believe that loving relationships are temporary and that it si natural for conflicts and estrangements during couple’s interaction. Table 1. Regression analysis of love styles for males and females Dependent variable: Pragma love style Variable Company Love Attraction Tragic love Company love

Tragic love

Company love

Passion

Males Females ® P R Variable â P R .265 .002 .368 .167 .044 Attraction .202 .021 .250 Dependent variable: Maniac love style .302 .006 .267 Tragic love .253 .003 .329 Dependent variable: Storge love style .295 .000 .409 Conflict .226 .008 .327 Attraction .174 .041 Dependent variable: Agape love style -.265 .002 .333 Tragic love -.285 .001 .343 Passion -.165 .045 Dependent variable: Ludic love style -.222 .010 .316 Dependent variable: Eros love style Conflict .174 .040 .289 .359 .000 .417

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The findings show in general that: •

•

Females who aggress with emotionally intense beliefs (Passion, Conflict, Attraction, Tragic Love) appear higher in all love styles, in comparison with males for whom high company love beliefs predict high pragma and storge and low ludus styles of love. Based on the results it is evident that there is a perfect match between the Mexican cultural philosophy and the core style of love which accompanies it. For example, those who live a ludus love style do not believe in long lasting relationships; those who live a maniac love style believe that “Love is written with tears” and that “If your love is not corresponded you would rather die”. In order to live an erotic love style, people need to believe that passion is temporal and that physiological arousal (in males) is a fundamental emotion drive form the process of separation (in females). In order to experience and agapic love style lovers request a real sense of duty, a great passion to be completely altruistic and a belief that love implies sacrifice and suffering. For a friendly (storge love style) to appear, it is necessary to uphold the idea of long lasting relationships (in males) as well as a strong physical attraction and their wish to maintain the relationship in spite of the daily problems. Finally, the pragmatic style of love drives from a belief in long lasting relationships with an attractive and compatible partner.

References Borrello, G.M. & Thompson, B. (1992). A note regarding the validity of Lee’s typology of love. The Journal of Psychology, 124 (6), 639-644. Carreño, M. & Serrano, G. (1995). Análisis de instrumentos para la medida del amor. Revista de Psicología Social, 10 (2), 131-148. Díaz Guerrero, R. (1967). Sociocultural premises, attitudes and cross-cultural research. International Journal of Psychology, 2 (2), 79-87. Díaz Guerrero, R. (1972). Una escala factorial de premisas histórico-socio-culturales de la familia mexicana. Revista Interamericana de Psicologia, 6 (3-4), 235-244. Díaz Guerrero, R. (1982, 1994). La Psicologia del Mexicano. Ed. Trillas.

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Díaz Loving, R. (1996). Una Teoría Bio-Psico-Social-Cultural de la Relación de Pareja. Revista de Psicología Contemporánea, 2 (1). Díaz Loving, R. (1999). Una Teoría Bio-Psico-Social-Cultural de la Relación de Pareja. En Antología Psicosocial de la Pareja (Díaz Loving, R. compilador). México: Miguel Ángel Porrúa Y AMEPSO, 11-34. Díaz Loving, R. & Sánchez Aragón, R.(1998). Premisas y Normatividad en las Parejas Mexicanas. La Psicología Social en México, VII, 129-136. México: Ed. AMEPSO. Erwin, P. (1999). Love attitudes and romantic involvement: a replication and extension. Perceptual and Motor Skills, 88, 317-318. Flores Galaz, M.M.; Díaz Loving, R. & Rivera Aragón, S. (2001). Estilos de amor y poder em la relación de parejas Yucatecas. Ponencia presentada em el IX Congreso Mexicano de Psicología en la Unidad de Congresos del Centro Médico Nacional Siglo XXI, febrero. Harris, M.B. (1990). Is love seen as different for the obese? Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 20 (15), 1209-1224. Hendrick, C. & Hendrick, S.S. (1986). A theory and method of love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50, 392-402. Hensley, W.E. (1996). The effect of a ludus love style on sexual experience. Social Behavior and Personality, 24 (3), 205-212. Huang, M. (1999). Cross-cultural similarity in the love attitudes scale. Short form. Psychological Reports, 84, 617-624. Lee, J.A. (1976). The colors of love. Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall. Murthy, K.; Rotzien, A. & Vacha-Haase, T. (1996). Second order structure underlying the Hendrick-Hendrick love attitudes scale. Educational and Psychological Measurement, 56 (1), 108-121. Ojeda García, A. (1998). La pareja: apego y amor. Tesis no publicada de Maestria, Facultad de Psicología, Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México. Parra, F., Brown, W.C., Huynh, P.D., Stubbs, E.C., Amerson, K.C., León, J.J., Ruch, L.O. & Martinez, C. (1998). Love styles among Guatemalans in a local village. Psychological Reports, 83, 1199-1202. Rivera Aragón, S., Díaz Loving, R. & Arnaldo Ocadiz, O.Y. (2001). Entre estilos: el caso del amor y el poder. Ponencia presentada en el IX Congreso Mexicano de Psicología en la Unidad de Congresos del Centro Médico Nacional Siglo XXI, febrero.

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7 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH IN SOUTH AMERICA – AN OVERVIEW Agnaldo Garcia

The investigation of personal relationships has presented a great development in the last years, however, little is known about this research area in South America. The purpose of this investigation is to indicate some parameters related to the scientific production in the area of personal relationships in this continent, except the case of Brazil, which will be the subject of another study. For that, papers published in periodicals indexed by the American Psychological Association (from 1995 to 2004) have been analized, including international and national publications, in English and Spanish. This paper analyzed articles discussing personal relationships when the authors’ country of affiliation belonged to South America. The publications about personal relationhips are inequally distributed among the 13 countries of the continent. Brazil presents the largest production, others countries could be divided in two groups: one with larger production (Argentina, Chile, Colombia and Venezuela) and another one with smaller production (Bolivia, Paraguay, Uruguay, Peru, Ecuador, Guyana, French Guyana and Suriname). Peru and Venezuela could, possibly, be included in a third group, with intermediary production.

I. Bolívia, Paraguay and Uruguay The international literature on personal relationships presents a few references with the participation of Bolivian authors. It was possible to find six references, all related to foreign authors, some visiting Bolivia and others conducting transcultural investigation. The participation of 78

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Bolivian authors may be considered secondary. Two investigations involved a large number of countries, including Bolivia (Schmidt et al., 2003 & Schmidt et al. 2004). These two trans-cultural references (considering 62 cultures) dealt with sexual and romantic relationships. Other two studies were related to family health, one about pregnancy in adolescence and its correlates, conducted by authors from the USA (Lipovsek, Karim, Zielinsky-Gutierrez, Magnani, Gómez, 2002) and another one about health services of reproductive health and violence against the intimate partner (McCarraher, Bailey & Martin, 2003), also as part of an international mission based in the USA. Another case is the experience of a foreign family therapist in Bolivia (Lidchi, 2002). Italian and Bolivian authors also worked together in another transcultural study (Pinto & Arcienega, 2001) investigating the relationship between parents and children (distance). Anyway, foreign authors are present in all six references. All papers have also been published in international journals, including Violence Against Women (2003), Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology (2004), Personal Relationships (2003), Adolescence (2002), Journal of Family Therapy (2002) and Rassegna di Psicologia (2001). There is no publication in Bolivian indexed journals. The situation of relationship research in Paraguay is still worse. It was not possible to find any reference published by Paraguayan authors in the area of personal relationships strictu sensu. The three references about personal relationships published by Uruguayan authors have been published in English and they were related to the area of health, with the participation of Mexican and Uruguayan authors. The papers discuss the role of maternal behavior and aggression, sexual behavior in adolescence and the relationship between health professionals and patients. All three have been published in international journals: Physiology and Behavior (2002), Journal of Adolescent Health (2000) and Infant Mental Health Journal.

II. Peru, Ecuador, Guyana, French Guyana and Suriname There are a few publications registered by Peruan authors. Among the four selected references, three had been published in Peru, in the Revista de Psicologia, edited by the Pontifícia Universidade Católica

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do Peru. They include an evaluation of the relationship between mother and child with the use of scales (Panduro-Paredes, 1998), a study about social support in people living with HIV in Lima (Fasce-Cayo, 2001) and a study about the relationships between happiness and gender, age and marital status (Alarcon, 2001). The results of a fourth investigation, examining sexual coercion among youth and young adults in Lima, Peru, have been published in an international journal, the Journal of Adolescent Health (Caceres, Marin e Hudes, 2000). Concerning Ecuador, a paper resulting from the cooperation of Ecuatorian researchers and scholars from developed countries (Ingoldsby, Schvaneveldt & Uribe, 2003), about perception of acceptable attributes in a companion in Ecuador, has been published in an international journal (Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 2003). Only three articles have been found concerning Guyana and no one specifically about personal relationships. In French Guyana, no reference related to personal relationships could be found. References showing some degree of proximity are more strictly related to Psychobiology, with the participation of authors from French Guyana and France. There is no reference from authors living in Suriname, only studies conducted by foreign authors investigating some aspects of local population, even so, not specifically about personal relationship (for instance, a transcultural description of communication behavior – greeting - in an indian population, by Williams, 1997).

III. Argentina, Chile, Colombia and Venezuela Three countries (except Brazil) represent the most part of South American production about personal relationship, from a psychological point of view: Argentina, Chile and Colombia. 1. Argentina – This country presented a relatively high quantity of articles related to personal relationships (49 titles). The investigated issues, from the point of view of the involved relationships, are predominantly devoted to family, to romantic and sexual relationship and relationships with peers. Starting with the romantic or sexual relationship, two groups could be identified: (a) the literature about sexual behavior and (b) the literature about marriage and divorce. The first group investigates sexual

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models in young and adults (Kornblit & Mendes-Diz, 1994); the ideology of sexual roles in Iberoamerican countries (Fernandez, Lopez, Castro, Pereira, Carro, Barroca, Mineiro & Granero, 2002 - a transcultural study with Spain, Colombia, Brazil, Cuba, Portugal and Argentina); sexuality and drug consumption (Kornblit, Mendes, Camarotti & Federico, 2002; Kornblit, Diz & Jones, 2002); AIDS prevention (Kornblit & Mendes-Diz, 2000); homophobia (Vujosevich, Pecheny & Kornblit, 1997) and jelousy feelings in sexual relations of adults (Casullo & Liporace, 2003). Two transcultural studies aimed at investigating adult romantic attachment (Schmitt et al., 2004; Schmitt, 2003). There are a few works about marriage and divorce, which include investigations about marriage with the same gender (Saavedra, 2004); separations and reconciliations in marital unions (Binstock & Thornton, 2003); divorce and conflict resolution (Albarracin, Albarracin, Sacchi & Torres, 1996), gender and graphic expression of couple (Leibovichde-Figueroa, Muinos, Alvarez & Cassullo, 1996) and unconsummated marriagens (Gindin & Resnicoff, 2002). Publications about family relationships cover different aspects, such as family dynamics (Herscovici, 2004; de Ferullo, 1999), adolescent pregnancy (Herrera, Charras & Blanda, 2001; Roy, Schapira, Cortigiani, Oiberman, Parisi & Szapu, 1999); the interaction between mother and child (Peralta & Salsa, 2001) and the father role (Herscovici, 2004). Several articles discuss relationships between parents and children, such as observation methods and techniques of the relationhip between mother and child (Oiberman & Torres, 1994; Oiberman, 1999), the ideas of mothers about the children education (Pascual, Schulthess, de Galperin & Bornstein, 1995); levels of playing between mother and child in different socio-economic groups (Peralta de Mendoza, 1994), reading books with illustrations by mothers to children in different socialeconomic levels (Peralta de Mendoza, 1995), parental perception of their childen’s behavior related to them (Klimkiewicz, 1993), the perception of children of relations with mothers and fathers (Richaud-de-Minzi, 1998; de Minzi, 2002). Regarding couple relationships and those between parents and children, there are some papers about domestic violence (Kornblit, 1994; Corsi, 1999, Folino, 2000) and sexual abuse, referring to diagnoses (Intebi, 1999) or prevention (Martorella & Português, 1998).

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There are also some references in literature about relationships with peers: dealing with deficits in social skills in children (Ison, 1997), development of cognitive skills to solve personal problems in children (Ison & Morelato, 2002), improvement of sociocognitive interaction through authentic cooperation development (Roselli, 1999), perception by childern of their relation with peers (Richaud-de-Minzi, 1998) and perception of loneliness and facing strategies in adolescents under judicial care (Kunzi, 1999). Some aspects of professional relationships may also be mentioned, as the relationship between teacher and student (Borzone & Rosemberg, 1994; Centeno, 2002), aspects of relationships between caretaker and patients suffering from a chronic disease, including family caretaker (Stefani, Seidmann e Acrich, 2000; Seidmann, Stefani, Pano, Acrich e Pupko, 2002; Stefani, Seidmann, Pano, Acrich e Pupko, 2003), family businness (Kertesz & Atalaya, 1999), negotiation and decision taking (Tohme, 2002), relationship in psychotherapy (Martinez, 2002). Argentinian literature also brings some general discusions about personal relationships, especially about measures of social support (Sacchi e de Minzi, 2002) and interpesonal trust (Sacchi, 1995). These papers have been published mainly in Latin-American journals: Interdisciplinaria (eight papers), Acta Psiquiátrica y Psicológica de América Latina (four), Revista Interamericana de Psicologia (six), Psykhe: Revista de la Escuela de Psicologia (two), Revista Argentina de Clinica Psicológica (two). Other Latin-American journals include: Avances em Psicologia Clinica Latinoamericana; Infância y Aprendizaje (two papers each); Psicologia: Teoria e Pratica; Revista Iberoamericana de Diagnostico y Evaluacion Psicológica, Revista Argentina de Clinica Psicologia; Revista Intercontinental de Psicologia y Educacion; Revista Latinoamericana de Psicologia and Adicciones. Other journals in English are American Psychologist; Child Abuse Review; Community, Work and Family; European Journal of Psychology of Education; Feminism and Psychology; International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology; Journal of Cross Cultural Psycho; Journal of Family Psychotherapy (all with two papers); Journal of Marriage and Family; Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics; Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy; Medical Education; Nicotine and Tobacco Research;

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Perceptual and Motor Skills; Personal Relationships; Social Science and Medicine and Theory and Decision. There is some literature about personal relationships covering classic areas, such as romantic and sexual relationships, family relationships (as those between parents and their children), relationships with peers and even aspects about professional relationships. This literature appears dispersed in more than 30 journals, most of them from Latin-America. 2. Chile – This country presented a fairly high quantity of articles published on personal relationships (56 titles). Investigation issues, from the point of view of involved relations, are predominantly associated with family, sexual and romatinc relationships and relationships with peers. Concerning romantic-sexual relationship, two groups may be identified: (a) literature about sexual behavior and (b) literature about marriage and divorce. The first group investigated sexual behavior from childhood (Vizcarral, Balladares, Candia, Lepe & Saldivia, 2004; Vizcarra & Balladares, 2000), adolescence (Gorostegui & Dorr, 2002; Silva & Ross, 2002) up to university young adults (Mathiesen, Mora & Castro, 1999; Almagia, 2002). These papers investigated sexual life and modulating psychological processes (Martinez-M., 2000) and behavior, satisfaction and sexual phantasies (Sierra, Vera-Villarroel e Martin-Ortiz, 2002). Literature about marriage included investigations on long-lasting marriages (Roizblatt, Kaslow, Rivera, Fuchs, Conejero e Zacharias, 1999), effects of divorce on children (Roizblatt, Rivera, Fuchs, Toso, Ossandon & Guelfand, 1997), marital values and satisfaction (Sanchez, 2003) and couples therapy (Martinez, 2001; Martinez, 1996). There is, still, the participation of Chilean authors in two transcultural studies about adult romantic attachment (Schmitt et al., 2003 and 2004). A large number of papers focused on relationships inside the family, including all family group or parents and their children (Vargas, Lopez, Perez, Zuniga et-al, 1995; Cuevas & Astroza, 2002; Feinberg, McHale, Crouter & Cumsille, 2003). In parents-children relationships it should be stressed the attention given to relationships of adolescent mothers (Ramirez & Cumsille, 1997; Cumsille & Ramirez, 1999). In a relatively indirect way, some studies investigated family dynamics (Hidalgo & Rodriguez, 1998; Hidalgo, 1999; Larrain, Zegers, Diez, Trapp, PolainoLorente, 2003; Valdes, Serrano, Florenzano, Rodriguez, Huepe, Cruz-

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Coke, Roizblatt, Charlin, 2003; Darling & Cumsille, 2003), some times, focusing on biopsiosocial risks. The most important studies about family relationships are about domestic violence and abuse. Domestic violence includes male partner violence (Martinez & Millar, 2000; Machuca, 2001) and intrafamiliar violence (Ramierz & Vera, 2001; Demicheli & Clavijo, 2002; Aron & Lorion, 2003; Araya, 2003). Several papers discussed child abuse, examining differents topics, such as prevention (Martinez, 2000), prevalence (Larranaga e Gutierrez, 2003), measures (Haz & Ramirez, 1998, 2002), impact on the victim (Castro, Maric & Medel, 2002), profiles of parents who maltreat their children (Haz e Castillo, 2002), reparation therapy (Llanos & Sinclair, 2001), resilience to physical injuries in childhood (Guevara & Montaldo, 2003; Haz, Castillo & Aracena, 2003). Other studies related to family context discussed attachment (Sanchez, 2002; Riquelme, Henríquez & Alvarez, 2003; Lecannelier, 2002) and violence and verbal hostility (Sanfuentes, Jara, Lagarraguibel, Schiattino & Lolas, 1995). Another area of investigation refers to relationships with peers, specially in school context, including analyses of programs of social skills for preventing delinqüency (Livacic-Rajas, Espinoza & Ugalde, 2004), resilience and social setting (Aron & Milicic, 1995), social networks of adolescents (Aron, Nitsche & Rosenbluth, 1995), sexism in university students (Mladinic, Saiz, Diaz, Ortega & Oyarce, 1998) and school violence (Milicic, Aron & Pesce, 2003; Contador, 2001). Other publications refer to professional personal relationships, as conflicts and work relations (Nussbaum, Susa, Castillo, Flies & Moreno, 1995), interpersonal behvaior and obesity treatment (Hidalgo & Gottlieb, 2001), retiring and social support (Bravo & Caro, 2002) and family caretakers of patients with Alzheimer (Miranda, 2003). Chilean investigations on personal relationships have been published in differnt journals. Twenty-two scientific journals have been recorded, including international journals, in English, and periodicals in Spanish, from Latin America. The most important Chilean publication is Psykhe: Revista de la Escuela de Psicologia, which published 21 papers on personal relationships, followed by Terapia Psicologica, with six publications and Avances em Psicologia Clinica Latinoamericana, with three articles. From Latin America, we could also mention the Revista

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Argentina de Clinica Psicologica (two papers), the Revista de Psicologia Social y Personalidad (one paper), Revista de Psiquiatria Clinica (one paper), Revista Interamericana de Psicologia (one paper), Revista Intercontinental de Psicologia y Educacion (two papers) and Revista Latinoamericana de Psicologia (two papers) and also Archivos Hispanoamericanos de Sexologia. Two international journals Addiction, Brain and Cognition, Child Abuse and Neglect (each one with four papers), Child Development, Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, Families in Society, Journal of Community Psychology, Journal of Cross Cultural Psychology, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Personal Relationships (each one with one article), Psicothema and Psychological Reports. The Chilean production in the area of personal relationships may be considered one of the most important in South America, although small related to other countries. Anyway, the country presents publications in the four large thematic areas: romantic and sexual relationships, relationships between parents and children (family members), relationships with peers and relationships related to professional aspects. What is remarkable in these four groups, however, are the recurrence of studies focusing on relationships with negative aspects, specially associating violence and aggressivity and relationships. 3. Colombia – In this country, studies on personal relationships are, to a large extent, related to Colombian social problems, especially those related to violence, drug consumption and poverty conditions. Several studies discussed relationships associated with violence and drug consumption, examining codependence in families of drug consumers and non-consumers (Gómez & Delgado, 2003) and patterns of family interaction in ausence of drug consumption (Perez-Gomez & MejiaMotta, 1998). Regarding violence, several studies deal with issues of personal relationships, as empathy in children and adolescents with disocial disability and relationships with parents (Rey, 2001; Rey 2003), patterns of violent behavior in groups (Juarez, 2002), functional analysis of juvenile gangs (Ballesteros-de-Valderrama, Contreras, Vargas, Palácios & Bonilla, 2002), investigation of perpetrators, victims and witnesses of violence (Duque, Klevens & Ramirez, 2003), family dynamics regarding facing and psychological adjustment in kidnaping

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victims (Navia & Ossa, 2003), different kinds of aggression between adults (Duque, Klevens & Ramirez, 2003, Colombia and USA), resilience and vulnerability analizing non-violent young people in a violent society (Klevens & Roca, 1999). A series of publications investigated the dark side of relationships, including conjugal violence (Hernandez-Cordoba, Bruno & Rivera, 2000), risk factors and context of men inflicting physical abuse in Bogotta (Klevens, Bayon & Sierra, 2000), the discussion of training programs to abusing parents (Rey & Rodriguez, 1999). Investigations related to reproductive health indirectly discussed relationship research issues, as in the case of pregnancy in adolescence and parents’ attitudes (IsazaCuellar & Morales, 1995; de-la-Cuesta, 2001), the context of pregnancy in adolescence; self-steem, maternal interactions and depression in women with multiple roles (Corredor & Gomez-Ortiz, 1999); a method to protect new-born of high risk against development retardation (Tessier; Cristo, Vélez, Giron, Line, Figueroa-de-Calume, Ruiz-Palaez, Charpak, 2003, Canada and Colombia); and social networks as a mechanism of survival in extreme poverty (Llanos, Orozco & Hoyos-de-los-Rios, 1997). Some investigated sexual behavior of unmarried university students (Alzate & Villegas, 1994); beliefs, values, attitudes and knowledge about sexuality of teachers, parents and adolescents in rural areaa (Romanowski, Cuellar & Vargas-Trujillo, 1996). Finally, a paper examined the importance of the situation to solve hipothetical interpersonal problems according to age (Torres, Sanchez & Hernandez, 1996). The above mentioned investigations have been published in Spanish and English in Latin-American journals and in journals from other countries. In Latin America, the most important are Avances em Psicologia Clinica Latinoamericana (four papers), Revista Latinoamericana de Psicologia (two papers), Psicologia Contemporanea (two papers), besides Terapia Psicologica, Psicothema, Revista Argentina de Clinica Psicológica, Revista Internacional de Psicologia Clinica y de la Salud and Adicciones. From other countries, we could mention Child Abuse and Neglect, Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, Journal of Transcultural Nursing, Violence and Victims, Aggressive Behavior, Infancia y Aprendizaje (Spain), Journal of Traumatic Stress, Journal of Community Psychology, Infant Behavior and Development and Therapie-Familiale (Switzerland).

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Although Colombia presents a large number of publications, several of them do not discuss directly personal relationships but they are present in the analysis of other problems such as violence, drug consumption and poverty. In family context, sexuality and reproductive health are stressed. 4. Venezuela – The investigated issues in this country include romantic and sexual relationships. Aragon (2002) investigated sexual patterns in three Indian ethnic groups in Venezuela: Anu, yanomami and piaroa. Others authors investigated family relationships, such as the patterns of family and comunity interaction (Platone, 1998), cognitive adaptations in the relationship between mother and children with Down Syndrome (Romero & Morillo, 2002), family counselling for immigrant families (Guanipa, Nolte & Guanipa, 2002). Others analized the relationships between community and family in Venezuela, as the social organization and interaction patterns in comunnities and families (LodoPlatone, 2004). Relationships with peers and friensdhip have also been investigated, as sources of stress and facing in school students (Davila & Guarino, 2001). Other research themes included social support and health (Bages, Warwick-Evans & Falger, 1997), and moral judgement, atributtion of feelings and punishment about material and personal damage (Alonso, 1996). The papers have been published in journals from out Latin America (Journal of Prevention and Intervention in the Community; American Journal of Family Therapy; Community, Work and Family; Psychology and Health) and also in Latin American journals (Archivos Hispanoamericanos de Sexologia; Anales de Psicologia; Revista Interamericana de Psicologia).

Discussion There is a great difference between the scientific production among different South American countries. Brazil, which was not investigated in this paper, represents about half the publications in Psychology in South America. A comparison of other 12 countries indicates some patterns. Some countries have not presented references in the area of personal relationship in the examined basis (French Guyana). In other cases, the

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publications are still scanty (Bolivia, Paraguay). In these two countries, there is a large participation of authors from developed countries. As a result, some papers have been published in international publications. In other countries, it is still possible to find foreign influence in papers published abroad, but, it is already possible to find national themes and publications in Latin America, as it is the case of Venezuela. In some cases, there is a relationship between the investigated personal relationships and health context, in cooperation with medical studies, with the participation of foreign authors, as it is the case of Uruguay and Paraguay. The three main contributions to the area come from Colombia, Chile and Argentina. These three countries present a profile in which some aspects of the recent situation of South America are stressed. It is remarkable the emphasis on the dark side of relationships, with a recurrent presence of violence problems (especially in Colombia, also in Chile and to a lesser extent, in Argentina). There is not much of what we could call basic research, about patterns of personal relationships in different situations. For instance, investigations dealing with friendship relations are very rare. The South-American investigations about personal realtionships present some peculiarities. The creation of specific journals about personal relationships in South America could possibly motivate further investigations. Regarding scientific journals, most of the 136 references considered were published in Latin-American journals. There is not, however, a specific publication about personal relationships in Latin America. The participation of South-American authors in specific international journals, such as Personal Relationships and the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, are still extremely rare.

References Alarcon, R. (2001). Relaciones entre felicidad, genero, edad y estado conyugal. Revista de Psicologia, 19 (1), 27-46. Albarracin, M.; Albarracin, D.; Sacchi, C. & Torres, G. (1996). Divorcio y resolucion de conflictos: un modelo policausado complejo de determinacion ambiental. Revista Interamericana de Psicologia, 30 (1), 15-25. Almagia, E.B. (2002). Construccion de un inventario de rol sexual en universitarios chilenos. Revista Intercontinental de Psicologia y Educacion, 4 (2), 11-19.

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8 ACOMPAÑAMIENTO PSICOSOCIAL EN UN PAÍS EN CONFLICTO ARMADO: UNA EXPERIENCIA Stella Sacipa Rodríguez

Una persona psíquicamente saludable es una persona capaz de trabajar y amar, y el amor que en ùltima instancia es unión y entrega mutuos, se encuentra bloqueado por la mentira personal y social, por la violencia que corroe el respeto y la confianza. Martín-Baro (1984, 31)

El estudio, realizado por el Consejo Noruego de Refugiados (CNR 2005), señala que el segundo país con mayor número de desplazados en el mundo es Colombia, donde se estima que más de 3,3 millones personas se han visto obligadas a abandonar sus comunidades de origen. “El desplazamiento forzado en Colombia es un problema grave, con implicaciones sociales, políticas, económicas, culturales y demográficas causado por la violación de los Derechos Humanos y las transgresiones al Derecho Internacional Humanitario en el marco del conflicto interno armado, razón por la cual, se convierte en un fenómeno nacional que exige del Estado un tratamiento desde la problemática de los derechos humanos”, afirma la Consultoría para los Derechos Humanos y el Desplazamiento (Codhes, 2005).

Diversos investigadores (Moreno Múnera 2003, Perez 2004, Romero 2005) han señalado que en Colombia las causas del desplazamiento forzado, se relacionan tanto con las dinámicas del conflicto armado, 98

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como con intereses económicos poderosos. En el primer caso las comunidades abandonan sus territorios, cuando se producen masacres, amenazas, asesinatos, secuestros, desapariciones y reclutamientos forzosos, persecuciones, enfrentamientos armados o minado de campos. En el segundo caso, el desplazamiento es promovido por quienes practican el despojo de tierras, el despoblamiento de zonas económicas estratégicas y su utilización ilegal soportada en formas de coacción violenta, En los últimos tres años, afirma el Codhes (2005), se han denunciado nuevas causas de desplazamiento forzado entre ellos la detención masiva de personas por el Estado en regiones de presencia guerrillera, en muchos casos basadas en informaciones arbitrarias, originadas en los programas de recompensas, delación y redes civiles de informantes. También se registran casos de desplazamiento por la fumigación aérea de cultivos de uso ilícito, cuando estas acciones se acompañan de operativos militares que dan lugar a enfrentamientos con grupos irregulares. A partir de la comprensión ética y política del conflicto armado que se vive en Colombia, entendiendo que nuestra apuesta es por la vida, que construir paz significa edificar justicia social y promover la defensa de la dignidad de las personas; y considerando que es responsabilidad de quienes trabajamos en las aulas universitarias, “decir una palabra significativa en la perspectiva de quienes han sido excluidos”1, nuestro equipo de Psicología Social, decidió participar en un esfuerzo conjunto con profesores y estudiantes de otras facultades de la Universidad, a fin de producir saber y servicio con y para las personas que sufren el desplazamiento. En primer lugar voy enunciar brevemente el marco conceptual en el cual nos anclamos y fundamentamos nuestro trabajo: Entendemos el Significado a partir del planteamiento de Vigotsky (1973) acerca de el significado de la palabra entendida como unidad del pensamiento verbal, acto del pensamiento que se materializa en el habla y que se expresa en el concepto. Donde la palabra tiene un papel destacado tanto en el desarrollo del pensamiento como en el desarrollo histórico de la conciencia.

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Diferentes aproximaciones teóricas y filosóficas hablan acerca de cómo la vida de una palabra es portadora de la vida de la cultura y de cómo las prácticas lingüísticas vehiculan las relaciones sociales. Para Vigotsky (1973) y Bruner (1991) el significado de la palabra es la unidad de análisis que permite la comprensión integral de lo humano. El análisis del significado permite captar la forma como los seres humanos conocen y se apropian del mundo; a la vez que posibilita conocer la actitud con que los seres humanos conocen el ámbito que los rodea y el sentido que construyen de esta vivencia (Vygotski,1973). El papel mediador del significado tiene que ver con actividades simbólicas para construir y dar sentido al mundo y a sí mismos (Bruner, 1991). El significado integra la capacidad reflexiva del pensamiento con respecto al mundo y la potencia creadora del lenguaje. Puesto que “en virtud de su actualización en la cultura, el significado adopta una forma que es pública y comunitaria” (Bruner 1991, p47) su análisis posibilita acceder a las maneras empleadas por los miembros de una comunidad para construir explicaciones e interpretaciones acerca de sus experiencias sociales a lo largo de su historia. Interpretaciones que se anclan en todas las culturas en la “psicología popular” definida por Jerome Bruner (1991, p52) como el “sistema mediante el cual la gente organiza su experiencia, conocimiento y transacciones relativos al mundo social... consiste el conjunto de descripciones más o menos normativas y más o menos conexas sobre cómo “funcionan” los seres humanos, cómo son nuestra propia mente y las mentes de los demás, cómo cabe esperar que sea la acción situada, qué formas de vida son posibles”. El aprendizaje de la psicología popular que caracteriza a nuestra cultura se produce al tiempo que aprendemos a usar el lenguaje y a realizar las transacciones interpersonales que requiere la vida comunitaria. El principio de organización de la psicología popular es narrativo en vez de conceptual, afirma el autor y las narraciones se construyen sólo cuando las creencias constitutivas de la psicología popular se violan, es decir la psicología popular tiene carácter canónico, no se limita a resumir cómo son las cosas sino también (muchas veces de forma implícita) cómo deberían ser.

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El despliegue narrativo es condición de posibilidad del significado, en cada narración se configuran representaciones que nos hablan del sentido que la persona le da a su experiencia, a la vez que pone en escena significados compartidos y construidos social y culturalmente. En la narrativa los seres humanos dan sentido a su experiencia de temporalidad y a su actividad personal, afirma Polkinghorne (1988), ella proporciona un marco de comprensión de los hechos del pasado y la proyección de los futuros. En el mismo sentido, Lieblich (1998) plantea que las narrativas proveen coherencia y continuidad a nuestra experiencia a la vez que tienen un rol central en la comunicación con otros, las narrativas construyen y transmiten significados culturales

En una postura más radical, Goncalves (2002) afirma que el desarrollo de la estructura narrativa es una condición esencial de supervivencia psicológica, la que depende de la capacidad del individuo de dar coherencia a la multiplicidad inconmensurable proporcionada por la experiencia de existir. Así como las narrativas nos dicen cómo se estructura el sujeto, de igual manera nos hablan de la actitud con que los seres humanos interactúan con el ámbito que los rodea y el sentido que construyen de esa vivencia. En palabras de Bruner (1991. p.63) “La narración trata del tejido de la acción y la intencionalidad humanas. Media entre el mundo canónico de la cultura y el mundo más idiosincrático de las creencias, los deseos y las esperanzas” En nuestro trabajo la narración se establece como una mediación para situar a los sujetos como lectores de su experiencia y simultáneamente constructores de relatos, de textos virtuales (Sacipa, 2000, p77). Al decir de Payne (2000) “la narrativa se refiere tanto a los relatos que cuentan las personas acerca de sus vidas como al conocimiento experiencial y de primera mano de personas y comunidades (…) este conocimiento “local” surge, se expresa y consolida en interacción con los otros.” (p58) Entendemos el acompañamiento psicosocial como un proceso donde “acompañar significa estar con, dar calor de vida, renovar la confianza, 101

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sentir la presencia del otro, escuchar amorosamente” (Sacipa, Tovar, Galindo, 2005, p11) proceso que busca resignificar la experiencia del desplazamiento. Donde se provocan conversaciones orientadas a la resignificación de experiencias, se promueven el desarrollo de reflexiones colectivas e individuales, histórica y culturalmente situadas orientadas a abrir el espacio a una comprensión de sí mismo/a más amplia, como un sujeto que sufrió el desplazamiento forzado en un espacio de interacciones con otros, donde la responsabilidad es social. En este contexto, la psicología social adquiere un compromiso ético en cuanto se convierte en un puente entre el sujeto y la cultura al contribuir de manera consciente en la construcción de un nuevo orden donde puedan coexistir interacciones y prácticas dialógicas orientadas desde valores que generan formas de vida correspondientes a diferentes concepciones de la realidad. (Castro Largo y Sacipa, 1998) Desde nuestra experiencia, al estudiar los significados construidos por las personas que han sufrido el desplazamiento forzado sin lugar a dudas podemos afirmar que esta violación del Derecho Internacional Humanitario, constituye para las personas que lo viven un hecho devastador a nivel psicológico y social, a la vez que constituye múltiple violación a sus Derechos Humanos. Los hechos violentos a los que han sido sometidas las personas desplazadas, tales como la tortura, las masacres y las amenazas, entre otros, son considerados desde la Jurisdicción Internacional como crímenes de guerra y de lesa humanidad2 En los relatos las y los campesinos hablan del estremecimiento telúrico, el daño a los procesos de la vida producido por los enfrentamientos armados, de la enfermedad física, de la locura que genera la presencia de los actores armados, de la imposibilidad de comprender, de darle un sentido a la situación. El dolor, el miedo, la angustia, son los sentires que matizan su vivencia durante la confrontación armada. La muerte de sus seres queridos sin tiempo para la elaboración del duelo, la amenaza que es vulneración psíquica permanente, les obligan a desplazarse.

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CHF INTERNACIONAL - CORPORACIÓN AVRE 2002 GUÍA DE ORIENTACIONES PARA ATENCIÓN EN SALUD MENTAL Y TRABAJO PSICOSOCIAL A POBLACIÓN DESPLAZADA EN COLOMBIA. Bogotá

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Sus tierras les son arrebatadas y el hambre, el sufrimiento por las pérdidas afectivas, por la fragmentación familiar atraviesan la narración del cómo del desplazamiento. Una joven dice: es la destrucción como persona, lo hacen poner muy nervioso… porque hasta le matan la libertad a uno... lo que hacen es jugar con los sentimientos de las personas3 Todo ello constituye la aniquilación de los derechos civiles, políticos, sociales y culturales de las personas forzadas al desplazamiento en medio de la confrontación bélica. Cuando llegan a Bogotá, la ciudad capital, sufriendo el desarraigo, sintiendo el maltrato, los campesinos viven la experiencia de una ciudad inmensa, desconocida, donde se pierden, donde la solidaridad es escasa. Donde son mirados con sospecha y recelo desde el prejuicio que los acusa de aquello que son víctimas. Se estrellan así nuevamente con la negación de sus derechos civiles. A veces logran con la ayuda de ONG´s un pedacito de lote, un pedacito de casa trepada en una montaña en Altos Cazucá, sector vecino a la ciudad de Bogotá pero que no es parte de la ciudad, no es municipio, es un limbo. Un limbo cuyas calles polvorientas en verano son lodazales en invierno, donde el agua es un tesoro escaso casi inexistente. Espacio que sustituye sus fincas arrebatadas por un actor armado. Espacio que no les brinda derecho a la ciudadanía donde los pobres que habitaban allí los miran con resentimiento pues el desplazado en los primeros meses recibe alguna ayuda para comer, auxilio que no reciben los pobres históricos de la ciudad con quienes además entran a competir por el derecho a un trabajo casi inexistente. Limbo de miseria donde hoy continúa la confrontación armada de la que vienen huyendo. En este sector desarrollamos nuestra experiencia, lo hicimos apoyados en la perspectiva de culturas de paz entendida por la UNESCO (1999), como cultura de vida, fundada en la solidaridad cotidiana, en la noviolencia activa, en el pluralismo, y en la postura activa contra la exclusión y la violencia estructural y compartiendo el llamamiento a crear un movimiento orientado a iniciar la transición de una cultura de

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guerra a una cultura de paz, generamos un proceso de acompañamiento psicosocial a la organización comunitaria “Corporación para la educación, el desarrollo y la paz” CEDEPAZ En la actualidad en Colombia un considerable número de personas en situación de desplazamiento recibe atención humanitaria y algunas atención psicosocial pero a muy pocas se les brinda acompañamiento en forma procesual. En nuestra perspectiva, entendemos el acompañamiento psicosocial, como un proceso y una forma de dar apoyo a las personas en situación de desplazamiento que brinda espacios de expresión y reconocimiento del impacto emocional que estos hechos violentos les ocasionan. Espacios orientados a renovar la confianza, sentir la presencia del otro y escuchar amorosamente La OPS y la OMS (2001) hablan de un proceso de atención personal, familiar y comunitario, que busca restablecer la integridad emocional de las personas, así como de sus redes sociales. Se trata de procesos psicosociales que propician la recuperación y el restablecimiento de los daños sociales, culturales y psíquicos, acompañamiento encaminado a la afirmación de las personas desplazadas como sujetos de su propia historia, y a la reconstrucción del tejido social comunitario. La mirada psicosocial reconoce el carácter activo del sujeto capaz de reflexionar y actuar sobre sí mismo, sobre el mundo que le rodea y en particular en las interacciones sociales transformándolas y transformándose a sí mismo. “En esta perspectiva es fundamental una mirada ética de la relación entre el psicólogo social y la comunidad, que habla de acompañamiento psicosocial en la lógica de “construir con”, puesto que consideramos que el/la psicólogo/a social, acompaña a la comunidad en su construcción de sentido y no interviene sobre ella para operar cambios específicos” (Sacipa y Tovar 2004, pág 142). “La postura receptiva de la comunidad nos propició una entrada amable. Nos encontramos no obstante con la comprensible desconfianza que genera el dolor y el sufrimiento por los hechos violentos que originaron el desplazamiento, la dureza de la experiencia en una ciudad desconocida que los recibía con recelo, las promesas no cumplidas, en fin todas las frustraciones acumuladas” (Sacipa y Tovar 2004, pág 143). Frente al fenómeno del desplazamiento forzado originado por la violencia sociopolítica se propuso un proceso de acompañamiento

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psicosocial a los sujetos orientado a la resignificación de la experiencia en espacios dialógicos Nuestra mirada se centro en el tejido social en el que se construye sentido, entendiendo que la violencia política tiene como trasfondo la ruptura de los lazos sociales (Martín Beristain, C.1999) se promovieron acciones encaminadas al fortalecimiento de los lazos sociales y de la identidad en el marco de la cultura de paz entendida como la convivencia plural, tolerante, responsable y equitativa. Uno de los retos lo constituyo pensar procesos colectivos de acompañamiento, con el propósito de darle un carácter social a la recuperación sin diluir la singularidad, desde la certeza de que cada persona vive y significa su experiencia de manera diferente, pero que esa experiencia hace parte de un contexto social y político compartido al que se le puede hacer frente fundamentalmente desde lo comunitario. El proceso gestado buscó desde sus inicios tender lazos y puentes para la renovación de la confianza, Fue una labor de acercamientos respetuosos y sucesivos, orientados a la apertura de la relación psicosocial, a tocar desde sí mismo el corazón del otro. La charla cotidiana, la escucha activa, la labor y la lúdica compartidas, fueron los vehículos que nos permitieron esta apertura. con ellas y ellos fuimos construyendo nuevos espacios de encuentro tejiendo vida a través del reconocimiento mutuo en la charla cotidiana, en la escucha activa, y en la labor y la lúdica compartidas Articularnos a la psicología popular de la organización comunitaria, requirió un primera labor de acercamiento sucesivos en tanto observadores participantes, así, asistimos con regularidad a sus reuniones apoyándolos en el proceso de su construcción como organización, “nos fuimos encantando”4 mutuamente y provocamos su imaginación al mostrarles lo que podíamos ofrecer como psicólogas/os sociales, usando como herramientas la conversación y el taller psicosocial que, en un primer momento, se encaminó a reconocer la diversidad regional y cultural de las personas de la comunidad.

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Iniciamos la construcción de investigación con la comunidad desde una perspectiva ética y formativa al servicio de las personas, a través del proyecto de “Reconstrucción de las historias de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran”. Nos propusimos en una primera fase indagar los significados asociados a las vivencias de desplazamiento de las personas que conforman la organización comunitaria Cedepaz. En una segunda fase nos preguntamos: ¿Cómo han construido las personas miembros de Cedepaz su organización y cómo la significan? El estudio se propuso, en las dos fases, aportar a la recuperación de la memoria, recogiendo las experiencias de las personas en situación de desplazamiento, en una forma contextuada y significante contribuyendo a la construcción de un relato cargado de sentido que les permitiera comprender el pasado y proyectar el futuro. Entendiendo como lo afirma Berta Castaño (2000), que los aspectos psicosociales y culturales son el eje sobre el cual se hace posible cualquier intento de remediar daños, reconstruir identidades y tejido social. La unidad de análisis se conformó de manera intencional, con 8 personas en situación de desplazamiento, hombres y mujeres que habitan en el barrio Altos de Cazucá e integrantes de la Corporación Cedepaz El estudio se orientó como una Investigación cualitativa, sistemática y en complejidad; en la primera fase de la investigación, el proyecto trabajó con la metodología cualitativa de historia oral, estudio de campo, que en el proceso de las entrevistas permitió recuperar la memoria colectiva, a partir del recuerdo de las personas, “indagando por la manera subjetiva como vivían, pensaban y transformaban su mundo” (Uribe, 1992, p. 34). Una vez construidos los relatos individuales, se hicieron dos movimientos metodológicos. En el primero, se aplicó el análisis narrativo propuesto por Bruner (1991) así fue posible encontrar las redes de comunicación entre los textos, e identificar en ella el proceso de unidad, las acciones, los elementos de fortaleza, las debilidades y los sueños comunes. En otro movimiento metodológico, docente y estudiantes hilamos las narraciones oteando los hilos del sentido personal y organizacional, localizamos las tramas donde se construyen los significados y desde los relatos personales tejimos la historia, la cual vertimos en una cartilla.

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La devolución de la historia se presentó como un trabajo de retroalimentación a la comunidad y de nuevos aprendizajes. En fiesta de sentires, compartiendo la alegría, se hizo la entrega de la cartilla a sus legítimos dueños: los creadores de Cedepaz. A través de un taller que manejó los hitos de la historia en metáforas y evidenció el caminar juntos en una ciudad no vislumbrada: sentimos la fuerza de la dignidad humana que no permite ser victimizada, a pesar de las agresiones del monstruo de la guerra; la fuerza de los vínculos solidarios, la debilidad producida por el rumor y la inestabilidad económica, y los sueños de sus miembros que se proyectan como escenario constructor de paz. Con la entrega de la historia, la comunidad logró fortalecer su pertenencia a Cedepaz y nosotros fortalecer los lazos de confianza con las personas que la integran. En la segunda fase de la investigación se elaboraron entrevistas, en las que se buscó convocar la narración de la historia de vida, relativa al proceso de desplazamiento forzado. Como lo hizo Bruner (1991) en su estudio, el diseño de las entrevistas fue concebido para favorecer la creación de significados mediante el relato de narraciones. Así se generaron las condiciones que le permitieran a las personas en situación de desplazamiento, en un movimiento reflexivo, otorgarle sentido a su experiencia. Por ello las entrevistas, se afincaron en un contexto ético, donde el respeto como valor fundamental orientó todo su texto. En una apuesta psicosocial desde la perspectiva de Jerome Bruner (1986), donde se convoca al pensamiento narrativo y donde la escucha en complicidad con el otro, se logró el relato individual de cómo se formo la organización, de sus tránsitos y caminos recorridos, de sus avatares, de sus sentires y sentidos Al convocar la historia buscamos los significados construidos colectivamente y los sentidos construidos por las personas, ya que buscar éticamente la narración de historias es captar la vida, pues Narrar una historia es viajar por el recuerdo, volar en la imaginación, Narrar una historia es atrapar los recuerdos para el otro, Narrar una historia es vivir más allá de la propia vida impregnando el recuerdo del otro, es trascender en el otro: en quien escucha, quien entrevista, en quien lee la historia, es verter el acumulado de las vivencias, de la experiencia, del saber, de los afectos y los desafectos, que las personas tienen

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en el recipiente que ofrecer el entrevistador. Narrar una historia es recuperar sentido de la vida comunitaria, es desde la vivencia del ayer, dotar de una comprensión a la cotidianidad del hoy5.

Con miras a fortalecer el nivel personal se realizó un taller de devolución de las entrevistas encaminado a la generación de formas que le posibilitaran a las personas resignificar su dolor, desde una perspectiva contextualizada de su experiencia; al tiempo que reparar sus heridas en una perspectiva constructora de culturas no violentas. El análisis buscó comprender en las historias personales los significados asignados a la vivencia del desplazamiento pues como afirma Serrano (1996) El psicólogo cultural analiza fenómenos que se encuentran moldeados a través de los procesos de interpretación y autointerpetación estructurados discursivamente. Así encontramos que: Un hecho sociopolítico significado por las personas entrevistadas fue el genocidio de la Unión Patriótica, (movimiento político de izquierda), donde se produjeron miles de torturas, asesinatos desapariciones y desplazamientos forzados. Otro hecho nombrado es, “el auge de la coca” en el agro, el cual inicialmente fue vivido por algunos campesinos como una posibilidad de suplir sus necesidades y rápidamente se transformo en un agente de violencia indecible: la lucha por el control del cultivo y el narcotráfico aterrorizo el campo, distorsiono, potencio y degrado el conflicto armado. El narcotráfico, el cultivo de la coca, el genocidio, las masacres, los secuestros, las desapariciones, constituyen maneras de actuación de los grupos armados, las cuales son estrategias de guerra significadas por la población entrevistada como mecanismos utilizados para aterrorizar a la población civil involucrada. El fenómeno del desplazamiento forzado está basado en una lógica de guerra, desde la cual se crean estrategias violentas con el fin de desestabilizar la vida de la población civil obligada a vivir en medio del conflicto armado. Como lo plantean Castaño, Jaramillo y Summerfield (1998 p. 73) “los modelos actuales de los conflictos violentos que se

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presentan a nivel mundial revelan que más del 90% de todos los afectados son civiles y que la intimidación mediante el terror de poblaciones enteras es utilizada como un medio de control social”. Estas estrategias de guerra utilizadas por los grupos armados generan huellas profundas en los civiles afectando su integridad, obligándolos a abandonar su territorio de origen, exigiéndoles olvidar y callar como mecanismos de vida creados por una lógica de muerte. El desplazamiento forzado genera una serie de consecuencias de carácter tanto económico y político como psicosocial y cultural en la vida de las personas, las familias y las comunidades. Hablemos de la violencia psicológica: Las fuentes de daño psicológico son numerosas, en el caso estudiado, en los relatos se mencionan las amenazas de muerte, el ser obligados a presenciar torturas y asesinatos, la vivencia de quedar atrapados en medio de los combates en los pueblos, y las mujeres narran las amenazas de llevarse a los hijos a formar parte de los grupos armados generadores de miedo y angustia que obligan al desarraigo. Como afirma Elizabeth Lira (1987) el miedo se ha constituido en un instrumento psicológico destinado al control social, para generar sometimiento y pasividad. Diversos autores (Jaramillo, 1997 Bello, M. Y Cardinal, E., 1999. Camilo, G. 2000. Correa, C. & Rueda, D., 2000. Naranjo, G.,2001) han estudiado los efectos psicosociales del desplazamiento. En las historias que nosotros estudiamos encontramos: El sentimiento de múltiples pérdidas vivenciadas por las personas entrevistadas, perdidas matizadas por el dolor, el miedo, la angustia, atraviesa todas las narraciones: La pérdida de seres queridos a raíz a raíz del asesinato o desaparición de los familiares, antes o durante el desplazamiento, es significada en las historias de vida, como un hecho altamente doloroso y en la mayoría de las ocasiones, pasa mucho tiempo antes de que puedan contar con el espacio para elaborar el duelo. En las narraciones es muy claro que el desplazamiento forzado es causa de la ruptura del tejido familiar. Algunas familias se vieron obligadas a fragmentarse, así cuenta una madre: mandamos al niño más chiquito donde un amigo, al otro lo trajimos al pueblo6 otra persona 6

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afirma: …me tocó que dejar a los hijos botados y eso es muy duro para uno7. Otras de las personas entrevistadas afirman que la degradación del conflicto afecta la estructura familiar con el reclutamiento forzado de los muchachos, una de ellas cuenta, esta situación de la violencia, lo lleva a uno a.... sufrir eso de que le quiten a uno los hijos8. Fragmentación y dolor que también puede provenir de la vinculación voluntaria de un hijo a un grupo armado. La ruptura de las organizaciones sociales, efecto psicosocial de la guerra, también emergió en las historias de vida como una de sus herramientas. Es así como a través de este mecanismo violento, los grupos armados le restan poder a los movimientos comunales y a otros organismos de carácter local, ganando de esta forma control en la región. Un hombre entrevistado afirmó: …al día de hoy ya no hay nada porque eso han matado mucha gente de la organización, eso se acabó9. Así llegan los campesinos desplazados por la fuerza a la ciudad y en los relatos ella es vivida como otro escenario de violencia: amenazas, falta de trabajo, carencia de educación, de alimentación, son algunas de las connotaciones desde las cuales se significa la ciudad. Los recuerdos de la vida en el campo se contraponen a la realidad que hoy en día viven las personas entrevistadas, la cual tiene como escenario un espacio que les es ajeno y al cual no se arraigan. En palabras de Sánchez y Jaramillo (1997) las personas en situación de desplazamiento deben enfrentarse a una nueva cultura sin ninguna clase de preparación, generando esta situación un choque cultural. La llegada al sitio receptor implica situarse en condiciones de miseria, ser percibido por los demás como alguien no deseado y en la gran mayoría de las ocasiones, estigmatizado. Así lo cuentan:... cuando yo salí de allá pues a mí me dio como tristeza y al mismo tiempo valor porque yo dije bueno yo me voy para, me voy pa

7

Entrevistada 5; (2002) Narración de mujer desplazada, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

8

Entrevistada 4; (2002) Narración de mujer desplazada, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

9

Entrevistado 8; (2002) Narración de hombre desplazado, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

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Bogotá, y llegué yo acá y es triste cuando llega uno acá y no sabe uno ni para donde coger... porque uno en el campo así no tenga plata, pero usted no se siente tan, tan humillado... hay días que uno no consigue ni para comer, es muy duro10. En las historias personales las mujeres y los hombres expresaron los significados a partir de los cuales generan la fuerza necesaria para afrontar su nueva realidad. En medio de narraciones atravesadas por el dolor de la violencia, matizadas por la presencia de muertes físicas y simbólicas, las y los campesinos entrevistados expresaron fuerte amor a la vida, más fuerte que cualquier amenaza, que cualquier arma, que el mismo desplazamiento. Las personas en situación de desplazamiento entrevistadas significaron a la familia como una de las dimensiones desde las cuales se construye sentido; afirmando que ésta es lo más importante para cada uno y desde la cual y por la cual, se encuentran fuerzas para seguir adelante. La espiritualidad fue significada por las personas desplazadas como otra dimensión desde donde se construye sentido de vida. La confianza y la fe en un Ser supremo, es fuente de esperanza Afirmaron que a raíz de la violencia, debieron abandonar su tierra, sus bienes materiales, su antiguo trabajo; más nunca, abandonaron ni abandonarán su dignidad. En las historias de vida se identificó la postura de dignidad, la cual se relaciona estrechamente con la capacidad de trabajar. En las narraciones el trabajo es significado más allá de un mecanismo a través del cual se pueden cubrir las necesidades básicas; es vivido como una oportunidad para el fortalecimiento interno. De igual forma lo ven Sánchez y Jaramillo, (1997), quienes afirman que el trabajo, es connotado como un compromiso con su identidad, posee una relación estrecha con el papel social que entra a desempeñar la persona en la ciudad, evidenciando además de una serie de responsabilidades, la capacidad para hacerse cargo de las mismas. Hablemos, ahora, de la otra fase de la investigación: Reconstruir con las personas integrantes de Cedepaz, la historia de su organización posibilitó leer en ella los significados acerca de cómo la han construido.

10

Entrevistado 6; (2002) Narración de hombre desplazado, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

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La primera significación en el análisis de esta historia, se relaciona con el papel que juegan las Organizaciones no gubernamentales y personas voluntarias que les brindan apoyo para conformarse como una organización y actúan como sus facilitadores. En el curso de las reuniones convocadas por estas organizaciones algunas personas en situación de desplazamiento sintieron la motivación de crear su propio espacio organizativo y contar con líderes propios. Así se inició el proceso de convocatoria alrededor de la solución de necesidades tan básicas como la de recoger agua. Las y los campesinos desarraigados fueron agrupándose y en reuniones sucesivas conformaron la organización comunitaria a la que llamaron Cedepaz. La construcción de la organización fue tomando fuerza en pocos días, gracias a la unión de intereses de sus integrantes, deseosos de coordinarse para incrementar sus posibilidades de gestión y a la capacidad de su líder quien ganó la confianza de los miembros de la corporación Una vez organizados elaboraron los estatutos y formalizaron legalmente Cedepaz, tomando la decisión de crear una corporación dirigida al trabajo, basada en la dignidad y la solidaridad. En la literatura se encuentran reportes que nos muestran como las Organizaciones externas actúan como facilitadoras de los procesos organizativos de las comunidades. Así Arenas, Faur, y Ramírez (1998), afirman que las asesorías externas por parte de personas capaces, sensibles, comprometidas y con una actitud positiva hacia los grupos son un elemento decisivo para el desarrollo y fortalecimiento de las organizaciones. Las personas en situación de desplazamiento fueron muy activas en este proceso: conformaron la Junta Directiva, adelantaron las gestiones pertinentes para constituirse como una organización y se reunieron sistemáticamente. El papel convoncante del liderazgo, la comprensión relativa a la necesidad de organizarse a fin de recibir el apoyo de las instituciones gubernamentales, contar con la posibilidad de interlocución con ellas, y la perspectiva de prestarle un servicio a otras personas que han sufrido el desplazamiento, fueron esenciales en el proceso de conformación de Cedepaz, liderazgo que se gano el respeto de la naciente comunidad gracias al trabajo paciente y perseverante alrededor de sus ideales y que se ha significado como motor del trabajo y actividad de cohesión de los lazos sociales.

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Varios miembros de Cedepaz se han caracterizado por tener una actitud activa frente a la organización. Son personas que la significan como propia, asisten con puntualidad a las reuniones, participan en las decisiones que se toman en las asambleas, motivan a otras para trabajar en cada uno de los proyectos que se gestionan, cooperan y colaboran con sus miembros, creen fielmente en las ventajas de la unidad, construyendo en el día a día la organización comunitaria. Los miembros de Cedepaz aspiran a restablecerse económicamente a partir de la valoración del trabajo y la dignidad, desechando las opciones de mendicidad y caridad pública. Desde la necesidad de gestionar recursos económicos la mayoría de sus integrantes se motivan a participar en Cedepaz como una vía para solventar sus precarias condiciones de vida, teniendo puestas sus esperanzas en la aprobación y desarrollo de algunos de los proyectos productivos a los que le han dedicado una buena cantidad de tiempo. Para estas personas los proyectos productivos significan esperanza, dignidad, solidaridad, y en su formulación se evidencia la fuerza significativa de los saberes ganados en su vida campesina dado que varios proyectos giran alrededor de la labor en el campo. La gestión ha sido un largo camino no muy exitoso hasta ahora; han sufrido la incomprensión y varios rechazos de las instituciones del Estado, es así como algunas personas que la habían significado únicamente como vía para resolver en forma inmediata sus problemas económicos han perdido el interés y han dejado de participar en sus actividades. Es esta una de las debilidades. Los lazos de confianza son débiles entre varios de sus integrantes hecho relacionado con la producción de malentendidos en la comunicación, ello mueve a la deserción. Ahora bien, ésta es una limitación hoy característica del tejido social en Colombia y que se relaciona directamente con el conflicto armado, generador de desconfianza. Los y las integrantes de Cedepaz significan a su organización a partir de una serie de fortalezas; la conciben como un espacio de ejercicio de Solidaridad donde dan y reciben apoyo las personas que llegan en situación de desplazamiento. Quienes a pesar de vivir en total carencia económica, aportan su ser social al otro, con una gran fuerza humana; un hombre afirma, lo que más pueda yo brindar, de ayuda,... yo soy una

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persona que no tengo absolutamente nada hoy en día..., todos los que lleguen: bienvenidos les damos fuerza y ánimo11 Esta motivación genera lazos en la organización, que se constituye como una comunidad receptora abierta a la colaboración y el acompañamiento. La corporación además de gestionar recursos económicos en pro de sus integrantes se ha preocupado también por fortalecer las relaciones de vecindad y solidaridad que anteriormente tenían en el campo. Desde la construcción solidaria Cedepaz es significada como espacio de encuentro: me satisface cuando voy a una reunión, me gusta mucho asistir12 … dice una mujer, este es un aspecto de especial importancia frente al dolor producido por la ruptura de los lazos sociales que la persona tenía en el campo, este espacio se constituye en sitio de reparación psicosocial. Cedepaz significa sitio para el reconocimiento, un hombre afirmó: la organización se constituye con el fin de que nos crean, de que vean que no estamos desunidos, que estamos organizados y reconocidos ante las instituciones. Hoy Cedepaz, es un logro, porque construir comunidad no es fácil13. Las personas en situación de desplazamiento que integran a Cedepaz construyen visión de futuro de la Organización, unos la sueñan como una empresa campesina que les posibilite volver productivamente a sus raíces arraigándose de nuevo en la tierra madre. Otros la ven en un futuro como una corporación en crecimiento, que garantice la mejoría en las condiciones de vida de sus miembros, uno de ellos dice: Yo pienso... que las familias se restablezcan económicamente, que puedan por sus propios medios, por su propia fuerza, salir adelante; a través de pequeños proyectos o grandes proyectos productivos,... que se gestione

11

Entrevistado 3 (2002) Narración de un hombre desplazado Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

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Entrevistada 4; (2002) Narración de mujer desplazada, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

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Entrevistado 7; (2002) Narración de hombre desplazado, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

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lo de la vivienda para las familias y la educación para los jóvenes y adultos, es otra de las metas, que tenemos nosotros como organización14 Sus sueños van más allá de la solución de sus necesidades inmediatas, es así como desean que sea una organización muy consolidada, con prestigio que sea una organización con muchos resultados positivos que logre beneficiar a mucha más gente15. Reconstruir la historia de la organización se convirtió en oportunidad para que sus miembros visualizaran las ganancias que les ha traído conformarse como grupo, más allá de la consecución de recursos económicos. Al recoger la memoria de sus vivencias, en las narraciones, con las lágrimas y las sonrisas, cada uno de los y las participantes recordaron, nombraron y resignificaron la experiencia del desplazamiento forzado. A quienes investigamos nos permitió reconocer la población civil no sólo como víctimas de la violencia, sino también como actores sociales capaces de rechazar los mecanismos de la guerra y crear sus propias estrategias en pro de la vida y la noviolencia Hablamos de una experiencia que vincula en complejidad la investigación y el apoyo psicosocial fundado en un trabajo académico conjunto del equipo de docentes, practicantes y la comunidad en dialogo constructor con otras disciplinas. Esta experiencia investigativa marcó el rumbo del servicio de manera que a partir de estos hallazgos durante el proceso de acompañamiento individual y colectivo, se brindo apoyo a las personas y los grupos por medio del fortalecimiento de los lazos psicosociales y la construcción de relaciones basadas en la confianza El acompañamiento psicosocial se adelantó simultáneamente en varios planos: De una parte se oriento al fortalecimiento de la organización comunitaria; movimiento psicosocial que busco el empoderamiento de sus integrantes como ciudadanos sujetos de derecho, en la construcción y la gestión autónoma de sí mismos y de su organización. Así atendimos

14

Entrevistado 7; (2002) Narración de hombre desplazado, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

15

Entrevistado 8; (2002) Narración de hombre desplazado, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Investigación Reconstrucción de la historia de Cedepaz y del desplazamiento de las personas que la integran

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(Sacipa y Tovar, 2004) de manera prioritaria a la iniciativa y autonomía de la comunidad en sus procesos de recuperación renunciando al protagonismo en los proyectos para que fueran las voces de sus miembros las que guiaran sus propias dinámicas. En otro plano para el fortalecimiento personal se acudió a la resignificación de los hechos violentos vividos alrededor de la situación de desplazamiento y por ende de la guerra; Se pensó en un dispositivo que permitiera la elaboración del dolor, el encuentro con la ira, el manejo del miedo; la cultura campesina exigió pensarlo a partir de la comprensión de lo que significa ser campesino desarraigado, expulsado de la madre – tierra. Los espacios informales de conversación personal se constituyeron en escenarios insustituibles de trabajo, puesto que en el contexto de violencia política urbana en el que viven las familias de Altos de Cazucá, muchas dinámicas psicosociales no pueden expresarse en grupo y más bien logran manifiestarse sigilosamente en el encuentro cara a cara con el o la acompañante en los espacios privados. Aquí los recorridos teóricos en estrategias conversacionales que mantienen la visión de contexto y dan prioridad a las herramientas propias de los narradores, fueron orientadores a la hora de potenciar avances en el acompañamiento en espacios privados, sin patologizar la experiencia. El trabajo se diferencio por genero y generaciones: con las mujeres la labor tuvo como objetivo acompañarlas en la recuperación de las heridas que les dejo la experiencia de desplazamiento. Se buscó la consolidación de lazos de confianza entre ellas y con otros miembros de la comunidad, el reconocimiento de sus potencialidades personales y sociales para recuperarse y gestar su futuro con dignidad y la preparación para apoyarse emocionalmente de manera mutua. Con las mujeres se construyeron dos clases de espacios, uno en las visitas a sus hogares (Nensthiel y Saenz 2003) donde la conversación en la casa tomo un matiz de profundidad afectiva, rica en detalles, dando pie a la resignificación de los sentimientos de dolor y minusvalia. El segundo, los espacios de encuentro grupales significados como empoderantes y seguros donde la conversación se constituyó en herramienta significativa para vencer el miedo silenciador y paralizante, para la recuperación de la palabra y de la interacción constructora dándose un cambio en sus narrativa acerca de sus relaciones con el entorno y acerca de su vida cotidiana (Pardo 2003).

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Puesto que como afirma Pearce (1994) las narrativas cambiantes dotan de nuevos sentidos de sí mismo y del mundo; la subjetividad se convierte en fenómeno intersubjetivo, al narrarse mutuamente las mujeres son coautoras de sus identidades construidas narrativamente. En palabras de una de ellas: Este espacio ha sido muy productivo, cuando nosotros entramos a Cedepaz, eramos personas, muy tímidas, eso casi no hablábamos, ni nos saludábamos y ahora somos amigas con las otras personas. Antes era mal geniada, me encerraba, mantenía sola, vivía deprimida, ahora se me abrió como una puerta, he cambiado mejor dicho, soy diferente16. Este trabajo en su conjunto implico conocer y construir realidad con las mujeres en Altos de Cazucá, permitiéndonos el encuentro con personas reflexivas, esforzadas, amorosas, incansables en la construcción de formas de atender a sus responsabilidades familiares y sociales, inimaginablemente recursivas, valientes y abiertas a la escucha y a la acción constructiva. Mujeres que en la cotidianidad resignifican y rescatan sus derechos a la vez que trabajan solidariamente por otros. La labor de acompañamiento psicosocial a los jóvenes estuvo mediada por la comprensión relativa a que para la joven y el joven desplazado la ciudad configura elementos de violencia adicionales puesto que además del control del grupo armado ilegal que lo expulsó del campo se encuentra ahora con las pandillas y los grupos de limpieza social quienes matan a los jóvenes en las calles de los barrios del sector. La ciudad implica un nuevo lenguaje verbal y corporal, ello implica perder el derecho al acento de la región de procedencia, es perder el derecho a un tipo de ropa (elementos claves de la identidad juvenil), es perder identidad, es perderse en medio de una ciudad que a pesar de no gustarles en un principio, los conquista con sus nuevas dinámicas, con los estilos de vida que produce, a pesar de que muchos de ellos están vacíos de bienestar (Sylvia Rojas 2004). Buscando no ser señalados como desplazados, es decir evitando la estigmatización los jóvenes intentan cambiar su acento rural, tratan de mimetizarse copiando el acento urbano. Más aún en el ámbito educativo

16

Participante A (2003) Narración de mujer desplazada, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Práctica por proyectos Culturas de Paz

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donde con frecuencia presentar la carta de desplazado implica ser objeto de señalamiento por parte sus pares, uno de los jóvenes dice: Yo nunca le cuento de mi vida a los demás, en el colegio, yo nunca hablo, nadie sabe que yo vivo allá arriba,... yo nunca hablo de mi vida17 En el acompañamiento psicosocial con los jóvenes trabajamos la identidad grupal e individual reconociendo con Morin (1998) que cada persona tiene una multiplicidad de identidades en sí misma.

La identidad se abordó en la relación con la ecología, el juego de rol y la apertura a la participación y expresión de sentires a través del trabajo del cuerpo, donde según Alvaro Restrepo (2003) se genera una comprensión renovada de la dimensión corporal como elemento constitutivo esencial de la condición y la expresión humanas y como factor determinante en el mejoramiento de la calidad de vida de la población. A fin de acceder a la pretensión de comprensión del contexto de los jóvenes se tuvo en cuenta el interjuego de tres elementos: la construcción de sí mismo (traducido en los diferentes roles que se adoptan), la construcción de los otros (relaciones de amistad, competencia, etc.) y las condiciones contextuales que llevan a un cambio constante (opciones y decisiones). Interjuego que da lugar a dinámicas propias de cada joven y del grupo (ausencia de líderes, problemas familiares, etc.), dinámicas que es necesario deconstruir y construir constantemente (Forero y Concha 2003). En una indagación elaborada por nuestras estudiantes, se hizo visible que los jóvenes significaron el acompañamiento psicosocial como un lugar de afectos, y aprendizajes, como una alternativa de buen trato, un espacio para la expresión, que facilita el establecimiento de vínculos entre participantes que aún viviendo en el mismo barrio no tenían cercanía.

Los estudiantes ganaron en su formación al ampliar su perspectiva del país, en un acercamiento compresivo y complejo a la comunidad y en

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Participante B(2003) Narración de joven desplazado, Altos de Cazucá, Material de campo Práctica por proyectos Culturas de Paz

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particular a las personas en situación de desplazamiento. Consolidaron la formación en Psicología social para su trabajo en contextos específicos y adquirieron herramientas para el acompañamiento psicosocial en la elaboración del duelo, el restablecimiento de la confianza así como el fortalecimiento de interacciones psicosociales desde una perspectiva ética. A la par de este proceso y en contravía al derecho a la vida los grupos de limpieza social y otros grupos ilegales incrementaron su accionar, destructores implacables en el asesinato sistemático de los jóvenes. Asistimos la más inaudita violación del derecho a la vida de una sociedad que se autoaniquila. Una de nuestras egresadas (Sylvia Rojas 2004, p120) escribe: “Los derechos de libertad de conciencia, expresión y movimiento, son violados cuando los jóvenes deben aparentar ser entes apolíticos, por temor a ser asesinados… encontrarse con los amigos en alguna calle del barrio, salir a cantar un rap o pertenecer a algún grupo de educación no formal, son conductas vistas por algunas personas como “peligrosas” para el orden imperante en el sector. El miedo se siembra en los barrios de Altos de Cazucá deja a los jóvenes sin derecho a la vida y sin el derecho a la memoria, a la amistad, a la esperanza. ¿Qué pasa con los derechos que no son explícitos, aquellos como el derecho a creer en el otro, a recordar, a seguir soñando?” A pesar de que el Estado aún carece de estrategias eficientes para cumplir con su responsabilidad, los jóvenes a partir de las lecciones que les ha dado su propia experiencia, saben que si se quiere seguir con vida hay que luchar y no desde las armas. En Altos de Cazucá hay jóvenes que aún creen que se puede vivir de manera digna en medio del conflicto, bailan y cantan, expresando con sus cuerpos una forma diferente de estar, de quejarse y de gozar, de mostrarles a todas las personas, pero sobre todo a ellos mismos, que decidieron construir un lugar en donde vivir. Como resultado de las matanzas de jóvenes, varias familias han tenido que desplazarse nuevamente viviendo así su tercer o cuarto desplazamiento fruto de la expansión territorial del conflicto. A pesar de las condiciones tan duras las personas que conforman Cedepaz aún mantienen la esperanza de fortalecer la solidaridad y continúan trabajando en la organización. Aquí es importante precisar: si no queremos caer en el reino de la ingenuidad y de la reducción psicologista, es fundamental reconocer,

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que este proceso requiere condiciones no psicológicas: condiciones económicas que permitan a las personas campesinas desplazadas vivir en forma digna a través del trabajo. Y de otra, condiciones sociopolíticas que les garanticen la vida a estas ciudadanas y ciudadanos hoy amenazados por grupos armados así como su participación en la construcción de ciudad y país. En términos de Galton (1998) se requiere derrotar la violencia estructural. En palabras del jesuita Gabriel Izquierdo (2003, pág 7) “los miles de desplazados que conviven hoy ahora en nuestras ciudades o en nuestros territorios, más que una crítica social, son un llamado. Al gobierno de la Seguridad Democrática hay que decirle que no hay suficiente seguridad para la población más vulnerable y que esta se consigue tratando de humanizar, no solo de reprimir”.

La política de seguridad democrática me recuerda el planteamiento de Martín-Baro, (1984) acerca de cómo la guerra produce en las relaciones sociales: violencia, polarización y mentira. La conformación de redes de cooperantes o de informantes al comprometer personas de la población civil en ellas promueve que las dinámicas militaristas desborden a los actores armados e impregnen el conjunto social. Es un estrategia de guerra que rompe el tejido social, es decir fractura los lazos sociales, al destrozar la confianza, componente básico de las interacciones constructoras de civilidad. Al instaurar la desconfianza como principio básico de relación se hace imposible el encuentro desprevenido entre las y los ciudadanos. Las relaciones entre vecinos se matizan de sospecha y la presencia de la diferencia es considerada objeto de delación, reforzando la intolerancia. Como decía el jesuita y psicólogo salvadoreño, de esta forma se agudiza la polarización social es decir el movimiento de los grupos hacia extremos opuestos. Se produce una fisura critica en el marco de la convivencia. Simultáneamente, la consolidación de la recuperación de territorios por el control paramilitar nos habla de una estrategia total que utiliza el miedo, el temor, las, el odio, el engaño, el dolor, la humillación donde como afirma la psicóloga chilena Elizabeth Lira (1990), el objetivo es el control de la mente de la población, transformando el peligro y la amenaza vital en una situación permanente.

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Es vital recordar a los destructores, como al deshumanizar al otro, a su victima, el victimario se deshumaniza a sí mismo, en la perdida de la vida del otro se pierde a sí mismo.

Mientras la no-violencia (Lopez 2002) implica recuperar las relaciones entre fuerza y vida, ejercer el poder por medios pacíficos, establecer pactos, acuerdos y mediaciones capaces de basarse en el respeto, en el cuidado y en el cariño tanto por los otros como por sí mismos

Referencias Arenas, A. Faur, E. Ramírez, E y Turbay, C. (1998). Organizaciones exitosas de mujeres: hecho entre todas. UNICEF, Bogotá Bello, M. Cardinal, E. (ed) (1999). Efectos psicosociales y culturales del desplazamiento. Simposio efectos psicosociales y culturales del desplazamiento (oct. 28-29) Bogotá: Universidad Nacional de Colômbia. Bruner, J (2000). La educación puerta de la cultura. Madrid: Visión. Bruner, J. (1991). Actos de significado: mas allá de la revolución cognitiva. Madrid: Alianza. Camilo, G. (2000). Impacto Psicológico del desplazamiento Forzoso: Estrategia de Intervención, en Efectos Psicosociales y Culturales del Desplazamiento. Bogotá: Universidad Nacional. Castaño, B. Jaramillo, L. Summerfield, D. (1998): Violencia Política y Trabajo. Castro Largo Ross Mary y Sacipa Stella, (1996) Significados construidos alrededor de paz y democracia en estudiantes de psicologia un estudio desde la psicologia cultural, Tesis Facultad de Psicología Pontificia Universidad Javeriana Bogotá. Documento inédito. Cedepaz, (2002). Nuestra Historia. Producción colectiva: Narradores, comunidad, profesoras y estudiantes. Tejedores, Proyecto Culturas de Paz, Universidad Javeriana, Bogotá Codhes (2005). http://www.codhes.org.co/cifras.php página recuperada el 20 de enero de 2005 Correa, C. & Rueda, D. (2000). La Barbarie Irracional de La Guerra: El Desplazamiento, en Efectos Psicosociales y Culturales del Desplazamiento. Bogotá: Universidad Nacional.

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Forero, C. P. (2003). Cambios en los escenarios cotidianos de un joven, durante el proceso de acompañamiento psicosocial. Informe final Seminario de investigación. Práctica por proyectos Culturas de paz Bogotá: Facultad de Psicología, Pontificia Universidad Javeriana. Galtung, J. (1998). Como construir la paz en Colombia. Elementos para la discusión. Bogotá: ESAP Gonçalves F. (2002). Psicoterapia cognitiva narrativa. Bilbao Desclèe Izquierdo, G., s.j. (2003, octubre) Desplazados y desposeídos. Crisis humanitaria en Colombia. En Los rostros del desplazamiento, Revista Javeriana, No 699 Tomo 139, Año de publicación: 70. Bogotá. Lieblinch, A. Tuval, Mashiac, R. Y. & Zilber, T. (1998). Narrative Research. Califórnia: SAGE Publications. Lira, E. (1990). Guerra psicológica: intervención política de la subjetividad colectiva. En: Psicología social de la guerra. San Salvador: UCA Editores López, M. (2002). Memorias del Seminario sobre no-violencia y paz imperfecta. Bogotá: Universidad Central. Martín Baró, I., (1990) Psicología Social de La Guerra. UCA Editores, San Salvador. Martín Beristain, C.(1999) Reconstruir el tejido social: Un enfoque critico de la ayuda humanitaria. España. Editorial Icaria. Moreno, M. C. (2003, octubre). Políticas públicas. En Los rostros del desplazamiento Revista Javeriana, No 699 Tomo 139 Año de publicación: 70. Bogotá. Morin, E. (1998). Introducción al pensamiento complejo. Barcelona. Gedisa Naranjo, G. (2001). El Desplazamiento Forzado En Colombia. Reinvención de la Identidad e Implicaciones en las Culturas Locales y Nacional, en Revista Electrónica de Geografía y Ciencias Sociales, No 94 en: www.ub.es/geocrit/se-9437/http. Nensthiel, C y Saenz, M, (2003). Construcción de un nuevo espacio de encuentro entre las mujeres en situación de desplazamiento. CEDEPAZ–Altos de Cazuca. Informe final del proyecto de práctica: Construcción de Culturas de Paz. Bogotá: Facultad de Psicología Pontificia Universidad Javeriana. Norwegian Refugee Council (marzo 2005) Over 8,000 people forced out of their homes by war and rights abuses every day http://www.nrc.no/engindex.htm Obispos Latinoamericanos (1997): ¿Qué es Noviolencia Activa?. Bogotá: Obispos Latinoamericanos Organización Panamericana de la Salud; Organización Mundial de la Salud. (2001). Lineamientos básicos para la atención Psicosocial a poblaciones desplazadas como consecuencia del conflicto en Colombia. Resultado de una experiencia de Cooperación OPS/ECHO/ONG ‘s. Bogota

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Pardo, V. (2003). Cambios de una mujer de Cedepaz en la narración de sí misma, a partir del acompañamiento psicosocial. Bogotá: Facultad de Psicología. Pontificia Universidad Javeriana. Payne, M. (2000) Terapia Narrativa. Paidos. Barcelona. Pearce, W. (1994). Nuevos Modelos y metáforas comunicacionales. En autores varios: Nuevas paradigmas, cultura y subjetividad. Buenos Aires: Editorial Paidos. Perez. M. (2004). Territorio y desplazamiento. Facultad de Estudios ambientales y Rurales. Pontificia Universidad Javeriana. Bogotá Polkinghorne, D. E. (1988) Narrative knowing and the human sciences. Albany: New York Press. Restrepo, A. (2001) El colegio del cuerpo: danzar la vida. En Educar en medio del conflicto: Experiencias y testimonios. Retos de esperanza. Medellín: Banco Mundial. Ricoeur, P. (1985). Hermenéutica y acción. Buenos Aires: Docencia Rojas, Silvia (2004). Construcción de subjetividades e intersubjetividades juveniles. Trabajo de grado. Facultad de Psicología. Pontificia Universidad Javeriana. Bogotá Romero, M. (2005). Desplazamiento Forzado En Colombia. Congressional Human Rights Caucus on Displacement in Afrocolombian and Indigenous Communities Sacipa, S. (2000). Los caminos que suscita la historia, en Universitas Humanistica Vol. 28, no. 49 (Ene.-Jun. 2000); p. 77-83 Sacipa, S. Tovar, C y Galindo L. (2005). Guía de Orientaciones para el Acompañamiento Psicosocial a población en situación de desplazamiento. Bogotá: CHF Sacipa, S. y Tovar, C. (2002). Una propuesta para pensar la paz en la vida comunitaria. En Memorias, III Congreso Iberoamericano de Psicología. Bogotá Sacipa, S. (2001). Hacer paz en medio de la guerra: significados culturales. Ponencia presentada en el 24 Congreso de la Sociedad Internacional de Psicología Política, México. Sacipa, S. (2003). Lectura de los significados en historias del desplazamiento y de una organización comunitaria por la paz. En Universitas Psychologica V.2 No.1 Bogotá: Facultad de Psicología, Pontificia Universidad Javeriana. 49–56 Sacipa, S. (2004) Acompañamiento psicosocial a una comunidad en situación de desplazamiento. En Enfoques y metodologías de atención psicosocial en el contexto del conflicto socio político colombiano. Unión Europea–Italia–Bogotá: Tèrre des hommes. Sánchez, R. & Jaramillo. (1997). Impacto del Desplazamiento Sobre la Salud Mental. Revista Humanística, Nº 27. Bogotá: Universidad Nacional. Serrano, J. (1996): La Psicología Cultural como Psicología Crítico – Interpretativa, en Gordon, A. & Linaza, J. (1996): Psicología, Discursos y Poder (PDP). Madrid: Aprendizaje Visor.

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UNESCO (1999). Movimiento mundial para la cultura de paz y no violencia. Ediciones UNESCO, Quito. Uribe, María Teresa 1992, Los Materiales de la Memoria, en La Investigación Cualitativa, Bogotá ICFES-INER Vigotsky, L. (1973). Pensamiento y lenguaje. Buenos Aires: Pleyade. Washington D.C. Wednesday June 8 CODHES en Colombia recuperado el 21 de junio 2005 de la página http://www.codhes.org.co/dsemanal.php?informe =67&report=67

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9 RELACIONES FAMILIARES Y SOCIALES EN JÓVENES AFICIONADOS A JUEGOS DE SUERTE Y AZAR EN LA CIUDAD DE BOGOTÁ Blanca Patricia Ballesteros de Valderrama Claudia Caycedo Mónica Ma. Novoa G. Dennys del Rocío García

Introduction El trabajo hace parte de uno de mayor escala, realizado con ayuda financiera de Colciencias, titulado “Análisis de las prácticas de juegos de suerte y azar, de habilidades, destrezas y suerte en niños/as y jóvenes de Bogotá”, el cual se realizó entre 2003 y 2004. Se basa en el marco conceptual del análisis del comportamiento y su abordaje de las prácticas culturales, entendidas en función de factores que aumentan o disminuyen su probabilidad como clases funcionales de conducta en grupos o comunidades. Es decir, como procesos en los cuales el contexto sociocultural y familiar interactúan con la conducta en forma permanente. La conducta individual se entiende como seleccionada por contingencias y metacontingencias culturales y dentro de esta conducta se incluyen las prácticas de juego, como práctica cultural. Se asumen de carácter operante por su función o efecto en el individuo y el grupo. Se utilizó un diseño mixto multi-método con una muestra seleccionada por medio de un muestreo no probabilístico por cuotas con base en los datos del DANE, la Cámara de Comercio de Bogotá y la Secretaria de Educación del Distrito. En el grupo de 10 a 17 años 125

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participaron 117 hombres y 38 mujeres, y en el de 18 a 22 años, 100 hombre y 42 mujeres. La participación fue voluntaria con consentimiento informado y en caso de los menores, se contó con participación de los padres. La metodología utilizada, combinando el análisis funcional de casos representativos de la variabilidad de prácticas de juego con métodos de estudio de grupos permitió comprender las variables micro y macro contextuales de las cuales son función dichas prácticas. Además sirvió para contrastar la información disponible en las publicaciones especializadas. Al respecto, algunos resultados son consistentes con los reportados por otros autores desde marcos conceptuales distintos, mientras otros señalan particularidades importantes de tener en cuenta al momento de hacer conclusiones y proponer alternativas para intervenciones y futuras investigaciones. Los instrumentos seleccionados se validaron con aplicación piloto y juicio de expertos, consistieron de entrevistas semiestructuradas, una escala de opinión, escala de situaciones relacionadas con el, cuestionario de prácticas de juego para mayores de 18 y formatos de observación y de autoregistros, para los casos individuales analizados en profundidad. En el grupo de menores se encontraron factores de las relaciones familiares asociados significativamente con la frecuencia y la intensidad de las prácticas de juego. Entre éstos se definen las prácticas de control por parte de los padres y la existencia de la comunicación sobre el tema del juego y sobre las razones dadas por los menores y los padres para jugar. Dentro de la dinámica de control, la consistencia entre ambos padres en el manejo de las contingencias es un factor relevante. En el grupo de 18 a 22 años de edad, la socialización es un factor motivacional importante, junto con el componente emocional: búsqueda de emociones, y evitación o escape. Los niveles de juego problemáticos muestran correlación significativa con consumo de sustancias, ocultar información sobre las perdidas y pruebas de juego y el género. Una de las conclusiones es la importancia de atender a las condiciones más duraderas o permanentes en la vida de las personas, las cuales con mayor probabilidad tendrán efectos sobre la formación de patrones de conducta, incluidas las normas, reglas y valores. Es decir, la atención debe centrarse en todas las condiciones del proceso de socialización como proceso complejo, extendido en el tiempo. En relación con la

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relevancia de los juegos violentos, puede concluirse que si jugar juegos violentos no ocupa un espacio importante en la vida de los niños, niñas y jóvenes y el resto de sus actividades pertenece a un contexto con ejemplares claros de conducta social en el amplio sentido de la palabra, los riesgos de problemas disminuyen. No obstante, en el caso colombiano hay que reconocer que las condiciones de guerra y de violencia familiar, escolar y sociopolítica enmarcan algún grado de peligro que hace necesario analizar con mayor rigurosidad la cantidad de tiempo dedicado a juegos de contenido violento, teniendo en cuenta el riesgo mencionado por algunos autores sobre la posibilidad de llevar a la vida real la vida virtual en la cual se involucran durante los episodios de juego. Al respecto se concluye la importancia de comentar y conversar abiertamente sobre las diversas experiencias de juego para tener oportunidad de conocer la real influencia de los contenidos y funciones del juego en el niño o la niña, es decir, ayudar a comprender las razones por las cuales se juega, que como se deriva de los resultados, son variadas y facilitan entender qué está aprendiendo y haciendo la persona en su vida. La comunicación entre padres e hijos sobre su afición por el juego se relacionó significativamente a nivel estadístico con la intensidad y frecuencia de la práctica de juego. Igualmente es importante analizar los factores estructurales que facilitan la ocurrencia no sólo de los episodios de juego en casos individuales, sino de los distintos juegos como prácticas culturales, en función de la mayor aceptación social de las distintas modalidades de juego, mantenidas por metacontingencias poderosas como las políticas económicas y la legislación en el campo de la salud pública, incluida la recreación. De esta forma, la persona está expuesta a una variedad de condiciones estimulares que facilitan jugar, especialmente cuanto no existen repertorios de autocontrol. De ahí la propuesta de formar patrones de autorregulación desde la niñez, lo cual es posible lograrlo tanto al interior de la familia como en el contexto escolar.

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10 FRIENDSHIP IN CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE: A STUDY IN BRAZIL Agnaldo Garcia

This preliminary report aims at presenting basic data about some general aspects of friendship in Brazilian children and adolescents, from 10 to 15 years old, in order to describe some aspects of friendship in this country and, in the future, to guide more specific research. For that, some topics investigated in child and adolescent friendships were considered. Garcia (2005) presented a detailed review of friendship in childhood, so only a few references are included here. All aspects investigated in this work have already been mentioned in literature, as friend networks (Gifford-Smith & Brownell, 2003) and the development of friendship (Corsaro, Molinari, Hadley, Sugioka, 2003; Hawley, Little, Pasupathi, 2002). Family and friendships are related and patterns of parent-child relationships influence friendships (e.g. type of attachment or life style of parents, McElwain, Cox, Burchinal, & Macfie, 2003), as well as the kind of family organization (e.g. Alles-Jardel, Fourdinier, Roux & Schneider, 2002), parents’ friendships (Simpkins & Parke, 2001) and siblings (Cannoni, 2002). Friendship is directly related to social support and prosocial behavior (positive social behavior). Friends are important sources of social support (French, Rianasari, Pidada, Nelwan & Buhrmester, 2001; Shams, 2001), affect prosocial behaviors (Avgitidou, 2001; Sebanc, 2003) and play an important role in emotional development (Salisch, 2001). Conflict and aggressiveness are part of friendships. The nature of conflicts between friends and non friends, however, seems to be different in some aspects. Research about conflict 128

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and aggressiveness in friendship involves investigations on violent fantasy, anti-social behavior and friendship (Dunn & Hughes, 2001), aggressiveness directed against friends in a game situation (Hughes, Cutting & Dunn, 2001), the assessment of aggressive and depressed children’s social relations with classmates and friends (Brendgen, Vitaro, Turgeon, Poulin, 2002) and causal attributions regarding conflicts between friends in middle childhood (Joshi & Ferris, 2002). Others investigated school context (Tomada, 2002; Dunn, Cutting and Fisher, 2002; MacDonald, Miell & Mitchell, 2002). Social cognition is another aspect widely investigated in friendships, such as auto-perception (Barry & Wigfield, 2002), implications for learning and crosscultural friendships of urban children’s video production (Lynn, Harding, Rai, McManus, Kitcharoen, Sweatt, 2002) and a comparison of parents’ and children’s perceptions of interparental conflict as predictors of children’s friendship quality (Kitzmann & Cohen, 2003). Based on international literature, several research issues have been investigated, as follows: (1) friend’s network and the best friend; (2) the development of friendship (choice of friends, formation, stability and change, separation and end of friendship relations); (3) friendship and family, including parents, siblings and other relatives; (4) friendship and gender; (5) friendship, social support, prosocial behavior and emotional development, including help and cooperation; (6) friendship, conflict and aggressiveness; (7) friendship and social, cultural and environmental factors; (8) friendship and social cognition – perception and description of friends and friendship, communication, shared knowledge, moral and rules. This exploratory and initial survey aimed at collecting basic information about several aspects of friendship in childhood and adolescence in Brazil to provide a general description of friendship.

Method The participants of this research were 431 students (211 boys and 220 girls) from fifth to eighth grades (10 to 15 years old) of a private elementary school in a middle class area in Vitória, Espírito Santo State, in the Southeast area of Brazil. There were 133 fifth graders (mean age = 11.0 years old), 115 sixth graders (mean age = 11.9 years old), 114

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seventh graders (mean age = 13.0 years old) and 69 eighth graders (mean age = 14.0 years old). The school contained a large open area, playground, several sport courts and a large class building. Data were collected as part of school activities, during normal class period, under the supervision of a teacher. Questionnaire copies (with 40 short questions about different aspects of friendship, based on literature about childhood and adolescence friendship) were delivered to teachers who asked the students to answer. The data presented are basically of descriptive nature.

Results and Discussion Identification and Number of Friends - The students were requested to write down the names of their friends. The 431 participants mentioned 3,048 names (1,484 boys and 1,564 girls), from one to 29 friends each one. Although some participants answered with ‘several’ or ‘many’, only individual names have been considered to achieve the number above. There was no clear difference in the number of friends from fifth to eighth grade, but there was a difference in the proportion of gender of friends. Among the fifth graders, around 10% of the mentioned names belonged to friends of the opposite sex. From ths sixth grade on, this number is around 20%. This may suggest that, although most friends belong to the same sex, the proportion may present developmental changes. The Origin and Age of Friends - Most friends belonged to school (416 cases or 59.5%), neighborhood (143 cases or 20.4%) and family (45 cases or 6.4%). Towns where the participant lived or studied (46 or 6.6%), as well as church (22 or 3.1%) and others (27 or 3.8%), have also been mentioned. Participants and their friends presented similar ages. The ages of adult friends were restricted to parents (26 cases). This may be connected to school structure, but these numbers also included friends from neighborhood and family. Fifth graders (133, mean age 11.0) mentioned 468 friends with mean age of 11.1 years old (12 friends aged 9, 52 friends aged 10, 328 friends aged 11, 48 friends aged 12, 16 friends aged 13, 5 friends aged 14, 4 friends aged 15, 2 friends aged 16 and 1 friend aged 17). Sixth graders (115, mean age 11.9) mentioned 500 friends with mean age of 12.1 years old (4 friends aged

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9, 5 friends aged 10, 28 friends aged 11, 422 friends aged 12, 24 friends aged 13, 6 friends aged 14, 4 friends aged 15, 2 friends aged 16, and 5 friends aged 18). Seventh graders (114, mean age 13.0) mentioned 278 friends with mean age of 13.3 years old (1 friend aged 9, 3 friends aged 10, 2 friends aged 11, 25 friends aged 12, 188 friends aged 13, 33 friends aged 14, 6 friends aged 15, 5 friends aged 16, 5 friends aged 17, and 10 friends aged 18). Eighth graders (69, mean age 14.0) mentioned 104 friends with mean age of 14.5 years old (2 friends aged 11, 2 friends aged 12, 15 friends aged 13, 44 friends aged 14, 22 friends aged 15, 4 friends aged 16, 8 friends aged 17, and 7 friends aged 18). Adult Friends – Adults have been rarely mentioned as friends in a first moment and, when this happened, they usually were parents. However, when directly questioned, most students (379 or 87.9%) informed to have adult friends. There is some indication that boys tend to deny having adult friends more frequently (36 boys or 17.1%) than girls (13 or 5.9%). These numbers apparently are related to the insertion of parents in a second recall of friends. Aged people are virtually absent in the first nomination of friends. However, as in the case of adult friends, when directly questioned, most participants (310 or 71.9%) also reported having aged friends. In this case, grand-parents seem to be the main group. The same occurs when the participant was asked about having a pet he/she considered as a friend. In this case, most of them (252 or 58.4%) reported having an animal friend. These data may suggest the existence of first order friends (mainly other children and adolescents) and second order friends (apparently, in some cases, these may replace the first ones). Making Friends – Most participants informed to make friends easily (315 or 73.1%) and differences were not clearly related to age or gender. Most participants (400 or 92.8%) reported having been helped by a friend. On the other hand, only some (131 or 30.4%) reported having competed with a friend. Boys seem to be more competitive in all age groups. Most students reported having already finished a friendship relationship (239 or 55.4%). Activities with Friends – The activities most frequently mentioned were talking (239 or 55.4%), frequent in all grades, although reported more frequently by girls (159 or 72.3% of girls) than boys (80 or 37.9% of boys). Going out (156 or 36.2%) was more frequently reported by

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girls (112 or 50.9% of girls) than boys (44 or 20.8% of boys). Playing (brincar) decreases with age (79 cases or 18.3% in fifth, 31 or 7.2% in sixth, 13 or 3.0% in seventh and 2 or 0.5% in eighth) and boys and girls, however, seem to present similar frequencies. Sport practice (84 or 19.4%) was more frequent among boys (70 or 33.2% of boys) than girls (14 or 6.4% of girls). Games (including RPG, computer games and videogames) were restricted to boys (46 or 21.8% of boys). Others activities with friends included having fun (68 or 15.8%), studying (12 or 2.8%) and others (56 or 13.0%). Even considering the diversity of possible activities, these data seem to reveal some developmental trends and gender differences. Best Friend: Number, Gender, Origin and Duration - 142 or 67.3% of boys and 123 or 55.9% of girls reported to have one best friend. Other 10 or 4.5% of girls nominated their mothers as their best friend and one boy said the same (0.5%). Others included dogs (1), siblings (3), father (1) and even God (2) as their best friend. 84 girls (38.2%) and 60 boys (28.4%) mentioned several best friends. The existence of a best friend is quite common, but the idea of a unique best friend is not always present. Anyway, the best friend(s) is (are) usually of the same sex. Considering only one best friend, in 11 cases (2.5%), the best friend was the mother. Multiple best friends included several individuals (not specified), only boys, only girls, or boys and girls and some also included parents. These data support the idea of a best friend of same sex, but also show that part of the participants preferred to consider more than one friend (even so, they have more friends of the same sex). The best friend is usually of the same age. In cases individuals were identified individually, ages were very close, except when the best friend was one of the parents. In fifth grade, the mean age of best friends was 11.04 (16 best friends aged 10, 95 best friends aged 11 and 22 best friends aged 12). In sixth grade, the mean age of best friends was 11.94 (11 best friends aged 11, 85 best friends aged 12 and 5 best friends aged 13). In seventh grade, the mean age of best friends was 13.0 (15 best friends aged 12, 79 best friends aged 13 and 16 best friends aged 14). In eighth grade, the mean age of best friends was 14.1 (4 best friends aged 13, 57 best friends aged 14 and 13 best friends aged 15). The best friend is usually from school (269 or 59.6%), family (68 or 15.0%) or neighborhood (49 or 10.9%). They may also be from church (11 or 2.4%),

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sport activities (8 or 1.8%), other towns (3 or 0.7%) and others (43 or 9.5%). Friends from the own family are usually considered as such from birth (44 or 9.6%). Best friendships started in the current year (59 or 12.9%), or they existed for approximately one year (71 or 15.6%), two years (68 or 14.9%), three years (45 or 9.9%), four years (40 or 8.8%), five years (16 or 3.5%), and six or more years (113 or 24.8%). Long lasting relationships with a best friend were remakable. Activities and Geography with the Best Friendship - Activities with a best friend included playing (123 or 28.5%), talking (265 or 61.4%), going out (76 or 17.6%), laughing (23 or 5.3%), practicing sports (60 or 13.9%), games (42 or 9.7%), having fun (33 or 7.6%) and others (67 or 15.5%). While playing is not clearly more frequent in girls or boys, talking (89 or 42.2% for boys and 176 or 80.0% for girls), laughing (4 or 1.9% for boys and 19 or 8.6% for girls) and going out (22 or 10.4% for boys and 54 or 24.5% for girls) are more frequent in girls while sports (49 or 23.2 % for boys and 11 or 5.0% for girls) and games (39 or 18.5% for boys and 3 or 1.4% for girls) are more frequent in boys. Some places were especially important to meet the best friend. The main place is school (206 or 36.3%), although there seems to be a certain trend for girls to meet at school and school loses importance with age. Home (148 or 26.1%) is the second place, and girls seem to meet friends more frequently at home than boys. Again, with age, the home visits become less important. Mall (44 or 7.8%) is important especially for girls (28 or 12.7%). Apartment buildings where participantes live (28 or 4.9%) are also important meeting places, especially for boys (19 or 9.0%) and not so frequent for girls (9 or 4.1%). Other places include streets (23 or 4.1%), squares or parks (20 or 3.5%), sport clubs (18 or 3.2), churches (11 or 1.9%) and others (69 or 12.2%). Knowledge about Best Friend and Subject of Conversation with Friends – Most knew their best friend’s birthday date (346 or 80.3%), especially girls (199 or 90.5% knew the date and only 16 or 7.2% did not know). 127 or 60.2% of boys knew the date (only 69 or 32.7% did not). Most students knew their best friend’s parents (356 or 82.6%), or, at least, partially (31 or 7.2%). This means that 387 (89.8%) students knew the best friend’s family and only 34 (7.9%) did not (22 or 10.4% for boys and 12 or 5.4% for girls). This may point to the importance of friendship to get in touch with other adults. Friends talked about

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everything (114 or 26.5%, in this case 67 or 30.5% for girls and 47 or 22.4% for boys). Boys and girls talked about things happening at school (54 or 12.5%, 44 or 20% for girls and 10 or 4.7% for boys). Only girls talked about boys (39 or 17.7%) and only boys talked about women (32 or 15.2%) or girls (25 or 11.8%), probably in a romantic and / or sexual context. Daily events were also subject of talking (25 or 5.8%, 15 or 6.8% for girls and 10 or 4.7% for boys). Only boys talked about videogames or computers (29 or 13.7%) and their conversation included more references to sports (31 or 14.7%) than girls (3 or 1.4%). In this case, gender differences were remarkable. Aggressionn and Reconciliation - Reconciliation with a friend was investigated. To fight or quarrel with a best friend was recognized by a large number of participants (218 or 50.6%), especially girls (127 or 57.7%, in boys 91 or 43.1%). On the other hand, reconciliation with a friend was also frequently reported (346 or 80.3%). This indicates that, even if some level of aggressivenes is unavoidable, reconciliation may garantee the continuity of the relationship. Best Friends’ Qualities and Faults - A large number of good qualities have been mentioned (a total of 36). The most frequent were to be cool (140 or 32.5%), intelligent (65 or 15.1%), friend (and true friend) (64 or 14.8%), sincere (63 or 14.6%), companion (52 or 12.1%), nice (44 or 10.2%), funny (engraçado) (43 or 10.0%), joyful (alegre) (38 or 8.8%) and funny (divertido) (31 or 7.2%), playful (24 or 5.6%), good guy (22 or 5.1%), caring (20 or 4.6%), helpful (ajudar) (17 or 3.9%), good student (16 or 3.7%), understanding (13 or 3.0%), extroverted (13 or 3.0%), loyal (11 or 2.6%), to keep secrets (11 or 2.6%), beautiful (9 or 2.1%), confident (9 or 2.1%), clever (9 or 2.1%), good at sports (9 or 2.1%), smiling (8 1.9%), kind (gentil) (7 or 1.6%), thoughtful (6 or 1.4%), honest (6 or 1.4%), happy (feliz) (5 or 1.2%), loving (4 or 0.9%), with similar taste (4 or 0.9%), sweet (meigo) (4 or 0.9%), helpful (prestativo) (3 or 0.7%), good at conversation (3 or 0.7%), calm (3 or 0.7%), kind or good (3 or 0.7%), and polite (3 or 0.7%). Some (31 or 7.2%) informed several qualities. These include general positive evaluations (to be cool, nice and possibly friend). To be cool (legal) has a wide meaning. Others refer to intellectual competence (intelligent), social co-participation (companion), and the manipulation of information (sincere). Some factors are directly connected with the quality of being or making others happy

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(funny - engraçado, happy - alegre and funny - divertido). The most frequent faults of a friend are arrogance (25 or 5.8%), to be nervous/ stressed (15 or 3.5%); to be annoying (chato) (13 or 3.0%), quarrelsome (implicante) (11 or 2.6%), quarrelsome (briguento) (8 or 1.9%), to speak too much (7 or 1.6%), jealous (6 or 1.4%), false (6 or 1.4%) and obstinate (6 or 1.4%). Other factors are to be mad (5 or 1.2 %), authoritative (5 or 1.2 %), shy (5 or 1.2 %), show indecision (5 or 1.2 %), to claim (5 or 1.2 %), selfish (4 or 0.9%), not assume errors (3 or 0.7%), proud (3 or 0.7%) and ignorant (3 or 0.7%). Concerning friends’ faults, the rate of answers like “I don’t know” (37 or 8.6%) or no answer (21 or 4.9%) together with a negative answer (there is no fault, 85 or 19.7%) are high (total of 143 or 33.2%). This could be explained by a tendency to deny or not to mention faults in friends. The faults were presented in a number much smaller than qualities. Some faults seem to affect the equality and harmony of friendship (such as arrogance, to speak too much, to be jealous and obstinate). Others properties are more related to a direct aggressive/annoying potential (to be nervous/stressed, annoying, quarrelsome). The inadequate manipulation of information was also cited (falsity, lies). Friendship and Family – Although parents were rarely mentioned as friends spontaneously, when directly asked the father was considered a friend by 383 or 88.9% of the participants (only 18 or 4.2% did not consider the father as a friend or only partially - 16 or 3.7%). The inclusion of the mother as a friend was even higher (419 or 97.2%) and a few did not include her (3 or 0.7%). Siblings usually were considered friends (311 or 72.2%) or not (47 or 10.9%), and some (34 or 7.9%) considered them only partially as friends. 33 (7.7%) did not have a brother or sister. This may indicate that some aspects of parent-child relationship and friendship with peers are similar. This also may indicate that parents (and, in a smaller proportion, siblings) could replace first order friends. Besides parents and siblings, the participants have also considered other family members as friends. Mother (46 or 10.7%), father (26 or 6.0%), parents (8 or 1.9%) and siblings (31 or 7.2%) were mentioned again. Family was usually considered a friendly group as a whole (145 or 33.6%). Cousins (116 or 26.9%) and uncles/aunts (65 or 15.1%) were the most frequently cited relatives. A possible explanation for the high number of cousins considered as friends is that they may probably be

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included in a similar age group. Possibly, uncles and aunts are closer to children than to adolescents. Friendship at School - Children and adolescents shared different activities at school. In class, most of them got involved with friends in class activities (to study or to attend classes are present in 295 or 68.4% of answers). However, friends kept talking in classroom (286 or 66.3%). As expected, other usual activities among friends (such as playing) were much reduced in class situation. In case of not being allowed to talk, six girls informed to send written messages during classes. During the break, there was a decrease in the conversation in the case of boys (only 74 or 35.1% reported conversation during break) while the girls continued to talk (178 or 80.9%). In this situation, boys tended to engage in sports practice (101 or 47.9%) more frequently than girls (30 or 13.7%). On the other hand, girls reported to eat together with friends (43 or 19.5%) more frequently than boys (10 or 4.7%). Younger participants (fifth and sixth graders) seem to engage in playing more frequently than older ones (seventh and eighteenth graders) during break. Activities with friends during class included studying (195 or 45.2%), attending classes (100 or 23.2%), playing (15 or 3.5%), talking (286 or 66.4%), messing (21 or 4.9%) and others (33 or 7.7%). During break, talking (254 or % 58.9%), playing (121 or 28.1%), sports (131 or 30.4%), eating (53 or 12.3%) and other answers (54 or 12.5%) were reported. Emotions and Friendship - Four basic emotions have been investigated and all of them (anger, fear, sadness and joy) were present in friendship relations. Most participants reported having already felt angry at a friend (268 or 62.2%), experienced fear of losing a friend (234 or 54.3%), felt sadness caused by a friend (249 or 57.8%), and felt joyful due to the influence of a friend (415 or 96.3%). As expected, happiness or joy (alegria) was the emotional state more frequently associated with friendship. Fear was more frequently indicated by girls (144 or 65.5%) than boys (90 or 42.7%), the same occuring with sadness (158 or 71.8% girls and 91 or 43.1% boys). In the case of joy or happiness, only two girls (0.5%) did not associate joy and friendship while 11 boys (5.2%) did the same. In sum, it was clear the strong emotional perception in friendship. The most frequently perceived emotion was joy, followed by anger, sadness, and fear. There is not a clear indication of changes with age, but girls seem to be more sensitive to the emotional side of friendship.

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The Evaluation of Friendship and Friends - Participants evaluated their friends and their friendships, including the importance of having friends, desire for having more friends, worst faults and best qualities of a friend, and what could cause the end of a friendship. Almost all participants (428 or 99.3%) considered important to have friends. However, this does not imply directly that it was desirable to have a larger number of friends, although the desire for having more friends was also frequent (327 or 75.9%). There is an indication that girls and boys were a little different in their desires to have more friends. While 59 boys (28.0%) declared that they did not desire more friends, only 30 girls (13.6%) said the same. This may suggest that girls’ network of friends may be more flexible. Several faults in a friend have been mentioned. The most frequent were arrogance (82 or 19.0%), falsity (77 or 17.9%), lies (48 or 11.1%), jealousy or envy (20 or 4.6%), selfishness (18 or 4.2%), gossip (17 or 3.9%), to annoy (12 or 2.8%), bad jokes (11 or 2.6%), authoritarism (8 or 1.9%), aggressiveness (8 or 1.9%), to annoy (implicar) (8 or 1.9%), betrayal (7 or 1.6%), bad use of language, including slang, curses (5 or 1.2%), intolerance (3 or 0.7%), other items (134 or 31.1%), no answer (100 or 23.2%). There is some indication that falsity (63 or 29.9% for girls and 14 or 6.6% for boys) and lies (33 or 15.0% for girls and 15 or 7.1% for boys) are more frequently considered as faults by girls. Faults included attitudes that could give rise to differences between two relationship participants (arrogance, jealousy, selfishness), they included the manipulation of information in detriment of one side (falsity, lies) and the direct annoying or aggressive action (to annoy, bad jokes). The most appreciated qualities in a friend were joy (65 or 15.1%), sincerity (57 or 13.2%), companionship (48 or 11.1%), to be cool (39 or 9.0%), friendship (32 or 7.4%), trueness (18 or 4.2%), good humor (12 or 2.8%), care (10 or 2.3%), confidence (8 or 1.9%), honesty (7 or 1.6%), happiness (6 or 1.4%), humor (4 or 0.9%), solidarity (3 or 0.7%) and love (3 or 0.7%). For girls, the most important was joy (47 or 21.4% of girls), not so important for boys (18 or 8.5% for boys). For boys the most important was to be cool (27 or 12.8%, for girls, 12 or 5.5%). Faults may affect friendship equality and harmony, giving rise to differences (arrogance, jealousy/envy, selfishness, to speak too much, obstinacy), they include the manipulation of information in detriment of one side (falsity, lies, gossip – mainly in girls) and the

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direct annoying or aggressive action or potential (to annoy, bad jokes, nervous, stressed, quarrelsome). Qualities of a friend (and of a best friend) may be different for girls (joy) and boys (cool). Qualities include emotional or motivational states (joy, good humor) and the potential to make others happy (to be funny, happy, cited in a best friend), a positive social co-participation (companionship, care, confidence), the adequate processing of information (sincerity, trueness), a general positive evaluations (nice, cool) and also intellectual competence (intelligence, cited in a best friend). Factors responsible for terminating a friendship refer to the manipulation of information (falsity, lies), aggressive events or states (fights, betrayal, anger) or inequalities (envy, jealousy). Fights may also be more important in the younger participants and falsity in the older ones (and in girls). The End of a Friendship – Factors potentially terminating a friendship include falsity (109 or 25.3%), fights (87 or 20.2%), lies (67 or 15.5%), betrayal (46 or 10.7%), anger (20 or 4.6%), envy (11 or 2.6%), jealousy (11 or 2.6%), lack of loyalty (9 or 2.1%), lack of respect (8 or 1.9%), to speak about others (8 or 1.9%), lack of understanding (5 or 1.2%), lack of confidence (5 or 1.2%), ignorance (4 or 0.9%), gossip (4 or 0.9%), to reveal one’s secrets (3 or 0.7%), and pride (2 or 0.5%). A number of participants (32 or 7.4%) stated that nothing could put end to a true friendship. Although some believed that a friendship could not have an end, factors detected as causing the termination of a friendship referred to the manipulation of information (falsity, lies) or aggressive events or states (fights, betrayal, anger). Again, falsity (86 occurrences or 39.1 % for girls and 23 or 10.9% for boys) and lies (46 or 20.9% for girls and 21 or 10.0% for boys) were more frequently mentioned by girls.

Final Remarks In sum, friends were typically from the same gender with similar age. They came from school, neighborhood and family. Children and adolescents made friends easily but rarely ended a friendship, and friends were perceived more frequently as helpers than competitors. Talking, playing, laughing and having fun were the most important activities with a friend. The best friend could be one or several people, sometimes a

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relative (mother or father). Friendships were recent or old relationships. Friends met at school, home, mall, buildings and streets, squares and parks. Most participants knew the best friend’s birthday date and his/ her parents. Best friends talked about everything. Fights or quarrels with friends were common as well as reconciliation. In family, parents (especially the mother) and siblings were considered as friends, as well as cousins and uncles/aunts. At school, friends shared class activities and also talked to each other. Regarding emotions, anger, fear, sadness and especially joy were present. Almost all participants considered having friends as important and most desired having more friends. The main faults of a friend were related to arrogance, aggressivenes and annoyance and main qualities were coolness, intelligence, trueness and sincerity. Factors responsible for terminating a friendship refer to falsity and aggressiveness.

References Alles-Jardel, M., Fourdrinier, C., Roux, A., & Schneider, B. H. (2002). Parents’ structuring of children’s daily lives in relation to the quality and stability of children’s friendships. International Journal of Psychology, 37 (2), 65-73. Avgitidou, S. (2001). Peer culture and friendship relationships as contexts for the development of young children’s pro-social behavior. International Journal of Early Years Education, 9 (2), 145-152. Barry, C. McN., & Wigfield, A. (2002). Self-perceptions of friendship-making ability and perceptions of friends’ deviant behavior: Childhood to adolescence. Journal of Early Adolescence, 22 (2), 143-172. Brendgen, M., Vitaro, F., Turgeon, L., & Poulin, F. (2002). Assessing aggressive and depressed children’s social relations with classmates and friends: A matter of perspective. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 30 (6), 609-624. Cannoni, E. (2002). Amici e fratelli: Effetti dell’esperienza fraterna sulla rapprentazione di relazioni interpersonali infantili. Eta-evolutiva, 73, 70-77. Corsaro, W. A., Molinari, L., Hadley, K.-G., & Sugioka, H. (2003). Keeping and making friends: Italian children’s transition from preschool to elementary school. Social Psychology Quarterly, 66 (3), 272-292.

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Dunn, J., & Hughes, C. (2001). “I got some swords and you’re dead!”: Violent fantasy, antisocial behavior, friendship, and moral sensibility in young children. Child Development, 72 (2), 491-505. Dunn, J., Cutting, A. L., & Fisher, N. (2002). Old friends, new friends: Predictors of children’s perspective on their friends at school. Child Development, 73 (2), 621-635. French, D. C., Rianasari, M., Pidada, S., Nelwan, P., & Buhrmester, D. (2001). Social support of Indonesian and U.S. Children and adolescents by family members and friends. Merrill Palmer Quarterly, 47 (3), 377-394. Garcia, A. (2005). Psicologia da Amizade na Infância: Uma Introdução. Vitória, GM Editora. Gifford-Smith, M. E., & Brownell, C. A. (2003). Childhood peer relationships: Social acceptance, friendships, and peer networks. Journal of School Psychology, 41 (4), 235-284. Hawley, P. H., Little, T. D., & Pasupathi, M. (2002). Winning friends and influencing peers: Strategies of peer influence in late childhood. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 26 (5), 466-474. Hughes, C., Cutting, A. L., & Dunn, J. (2001). Acting nasty in the face of failure? Longitudinal observations of ‘hard-to-manage’ children playing a rigged competitive game with a friend. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 29 (5), 403-416. Joshi, A., & Ferris, J. C. (2002). Causal attributions regarding conflicts between friends in middle childhood. Social Behavior and Personality, 30 (1), 65-74. Kitzmann, K. M., & Cohen, R. (2003). Parents’ versus children’s perceptions of interparental conflict as predictors of children’s friendship quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20 (5), 689-700. Lynn, L. K., Harding, C., Rai, B., McManus, S., Kitcharoen, K., & Sweatt, L. (2002). Urban children’s video production and performance-based programming: Implications for learning and cross-cultural friendships. Journal of Prevention and Intervention in the Community, 24 (2), 45-61. MacDonald, R. A. R., Miell, D., & Mitchell, L. (2002). An investigation of children’s musical collaborations: The effect of friendship and age. Psychology of Music, 30 (2), 148-163. McElwain, N. L.; Volling, B. L. (2002). Relating individual control, social understanding, and gender to child-friend interaction: A relationships perspective. Social Development, 11(3), 362-385. Salisch, M. von (2001). Children’s emotional development Challenges in their relationships to parents, peers, and friends. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 25 (4), 310-319. Sebanc, A. M (2003). The Friendship Features of Preschool Children: Links with Prosocial Behavior and Aggression. Social Development, 12 (2), 249-268. 140

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Shams, M. (2001). Social Support, loneliness and friendship preference among British Asian and Non-Asian Adolescents. Social Behavior and Personality, 29 (4), 399-404. Simpkins, S. D. & Parke, R. D. (2001). The relations between parental friendships an children’s friendships: Self-report and observational analysis. Child Development, 72 (2), 569-582. Tomada, G. (2002). Disagio scolastico e bambini senza amici. Eta-evolutiva, 71 (1), 92-98.

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11 MARS AND VENUS: A CRITIQUE AND A PROPOSAL Patricia Noller

In this paper, I first critique the controversial ‘different cultures’ hypothesis and conclude that the sex differences in communication found in the literature do not support this hypothesis because there is little evidence for differences in abstractions (e.g., beliefs, standards and values). I do not argue that there are no differences in behavior, nor do I argue that the differences found are insignificant. I argue that the differences in communication behavior found are better accounted for by an approach used in explaining differences between siblings – ‘shared versus nonshared environment’. This approach allows for both similarities and differences, for within-sex variability and overlapping distributions, and for the development of different skills and abilities. Social-structural effects (such as roles and status) and context effects can also be accounted for by this approach. The different cultures hypothesis, which argues that males and females are raised in two different cultures (even planets) has been popularised by authors such as John Gray (1993) and Deborah Tannen (1986; 1990). Gray argues, for example, that not only do men and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need and appreciate differently (Gray, 1993, p.5). This position has also been argued strongly by academics such as Julia Wood (1997) who sees sex differences as pervasive. However, the ‘different cultures hypothesis’ has always been a controversial issue in academic circles as can be seen in such publications 142

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as that of Canary and Dindia (1998). These authors argue that although there are differences in communication behavior between men and women, these differences are small and insignificant and need to be discussed in the context of the many similarities between the sexes. To be able to say that men and women come from different cultures, we need to be able to show that men and women differ in terms of their abstract thinking about communication and relationships (that is, in terms of their standards and values about communication and relationships). Kunkel and Burleson (1998) tested this hypothesis in relation to the expression of caring and emotional support. These researchers found that men and women both viewed highly person-centered messages as most sensitive and effective, believed such messages were more likely to be utilized by women, preferred to seek comfort from women, and viewed comforting skills as important to close relationships. Similarly, Vangelisti and Daly (1997) found no differences between men and women in terms of the importance they associated with various standards for satisfying relationships. The kinds of standards examined included acceptance, respect, fidelity, openness, expression of affection and commitment. In addition, as Vangelisti (1997) has pointed out, there are a number of negative implications of the ‘different cultures hypothesis. First, the ‘different cultures’ hypothesis gives sex differences the primary focus, and may mask the effects of other important variables such as context and power that have a stronger effect on behavior. Second, the different cultures focus encourages an individualistic approach to behaviors that should be studied as relational phenomena that are essentially interdependent. Third, the ‘different cultures’ hypothesis makes the assumption that instrumental and expressive behaviours are equally effective in a given context, and obscures differences between them. Fourth, the ‘different cultures’ hypothesis provides an external attribution for relational/interpersonal phenomena, and fifth, does not provide an explanation for the development of sex differences. A number of alternatives to the ‘different cultures’ hypothesis have been proposed. For example, Christensen and his colleagues have argued for a social-structural rather than an individual differences approach to sex differences in the demand/withdraw pattern of interaction (Christensen & Heavey, 1990). Their findings indicate that the partner

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who is seeking change is more likely to be in the demanding role, and that women are more likely to demand because they are more likely to be dissatisfied because of their lack of power. Other alternatives include the different experiences approach (Vangelisti & Daly, 1997), the skill specialization versus deficit approach (Kunkel & Burleson, 1998), stereotypes (Aries, 1998; Henley & Kramarae, 1991), and the expectancy violation approach (Burgoon & Klingle, 1998). I want to suggest an alternative approach that comes out of the literature on sibling relationships. Sibling differences are usually explained in terms of nonshared environment, a term that refers to “those environmental factors that work to make siblings in the same family different from one another rather than similar” (Pike, Manke, Ross & Plomin, 2000, p.96). Dunn and Plomin (1990) argue that even though siblings may be brought up in the same family, not all aspects of their experience are shared. Nonshared factors include age, birth order, illness and disabilities, relationships with parents, relationships with friends and school experiences. Boys and girls, including those in the same family, experience some aspects of their environment as shared and some as nonshared. Crawford (1995), for example, has argued that girls and boys, rather than being from different cultures, are generally raised together. They share the use of common space in their homes, eat, work and play with siblings of both sexes, are likely to be enrolled in co-educational classes in coeducational schools, and are both largely cared for by women in infancy and early childhood. Aries (1996) also argues for similar environments for boys and girls growing up: Boys and girls have daily interactions with members of the opposite sex, with siblings, parents, relatives, friends, in the neighbourhood or teachers at school… although boys and girls tend to select same-sex peers as their primary companions, their daily interactions are by no means limited to people of the same sex. Of course, there are also aspects of the environment that are less likely to be shared. Boys and girls tend to engage in different sporting activities and different hobbies. There is also evidence of more competitiveness and aggressiveness in the activities of boys. I would want to argue that to the 144

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extent that boys and girls engage in similar activities with similar levels of competitiveness and aggressiveness, they are likely to be similar in terms of their relationships and communication, and the more different their activities the more likely they are to be different.

The shared versus nonshared environment perspective is a useful way of looking at sex differences because it allows for both similarities and differences, for within-sex variability and overlapping distributions, and for the development of different skills and abilities. Social-structural effects (such as roles and status) and context effects (such as sex composition of a dyad and the quality of the relationship) can also be accounted for using this approach. In addition, to the extent that the environments of males and females are different, stereotypes about the other sex are likely to develop. Thus, this approach is a better way of describing sex differences than the ‘different cultures’ hypothesis, which does not account for the degree of similarity between males females generally found in research.

References Aries, E. (1996). Men and women in interaction: Reconsidering the differences. New York: Oxford University Press. Aries, E. (1998). Gender differences in interaction. In D. Canary & K. Dindia (Eds.), Sex differences and similarities in communication (pp. 65-81). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Burgoon, M., & Klingle, R. S. (1998). Gender differences in being influential and/ or influenced: A challenge to prior explanations. In D. Canary & K. Dindia (Eds.), Sex differences and similarities in communication (pp. 257-285). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Canary, D., & Dindia, K. (1998). (Eds.) Sex differences and similarities in communication. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Christensen, A., & Heavey, C. L. (1990). Gender and social structure in the demand/ withdraw pattern of marital conflict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 73-81.

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Crawford, M. (1995). Talking difference: On gender and language. London: Sage. Dunn, J., & Plomin, R. (1990). Separate lives: why siblings are so different, New York: Basic Books. Gray, J. (1993). Men are from Mars, women are from Venus: A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships. New York: Harper Collins Henley, N., & Kramarae, C. (1991). Gender, power and miscommunication. In N. Coupland, H. Giles & J. Wiemann (Eds.), “Miscommunication” and problematic talk (pp. 18-43). Newbury Park, CA: Sage. Kunkel, & Burleson, B. (1998). Social support and the emotional lives of men and women: An assessment of the different cultures perspective. In D. Canary & K. Dindia (Eds.), Sex differences and similarities in communication (pp. 101-125). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Pike, A., Manke, B., Reiss, D., & Plomin, R. (2000).A genetic analysis of differential experiences of adolescents siblings across three years. Social Development, 9, 96114. Tannen, D. (1986). That’s not what I meant: How conversational style makes or breaks relationships. New York: Ballantine Books. Tannen, D. (1990). You just don’t understand: Women and men in conversation. New York: William Morrow. Vangelisti, A. (1997). Gender differences, similarities and interdependencies: some problems with the different cultures perspective. Personal Relationships, 4, 243253. Vangellisti, A., & Daly, J. (1997). Gender differences in standards for personal relationships. Personal Relationships, 4, 203-219. Wood, J. T. (1997). Clarifying the issues. Personal Relationships, 4, 221-228.

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12 PERCEIVED RELATIONSHIPS QUALITY IN BRITAIN, GHANA AND PORTUGAL Robin Goodwin Zoe Williams Joseph Adonu Priya Kanabar Slawomir Spiecwak Felix Neto

Despite considerable past research into partner preferences there have been no investigations exploring the self-perceived relationship qualities (‘PRQ’s) an individual believes he/she can offer a relationship partner. The current paper reports three studies investigating the relationship between values, PRQs, and self-esteem across cultural groups. In study 1, 60 White British respondents freely listed the qualities that they believed they could offer a relationship partner. In study 2, 93 White British respondents rated themselves on these qualities and completed a values questionnaire. In study 3, 176 British Whites, 127 British Asians and 84 Ghanaians indicated their PRQs and self-esteem. Results indicated that values were able to predict the qualities individuals perceived they offered in a reasonably ‘expected’ way, with particular PRQs predictive of self-esteem in different cultures. Findings are discussed in the light of the need for further research into the desirability of different attributes across cultures. The three studies: 1. What are the characteristics people think they can offer others?; 2. Can we predict these PRQs (Perceived Relationship Qualities) on the basis of values?; 3. How do these qualities relate to self-esteem in samples of UK Whites, UK Indians, Ghanaians, Portuguese and Poles?

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Study 1: Things you can offer…. 100 questionnaires were distributed to students and their friends, family and associates: 60 White British respondents (27 male) aged between 21 and 55 included (M age 29). Respondents asked ‘What are the qualities that you think you have that a romantic partner might find attractive?’ Respondents then asked to list these qualities freely 541 responses produced in all (M = 9.02, median 8 per respondent). Findings: Gender differences - Large amount of research claims gender differences in ideal partner preferences. Women and men reported a similar number of PRQs (Ms = 9.52 vs. 8.41 t = -.82). Women more likely to believe that they could offer: Attractiveness, Sexual allure, Good listening skills, Confidence, Physical health, “Domestic qualities” (good cook, domesticated). Men believed they offer: Humour, Honesty.

Study 2: Predicting PRQs in the UK Individual values were found to influence partner preferences (Goodwin & Tinker, 2002). For example, those high on Conservation sought a more ‘traditional’ partner (religious, good housekeeper, good family background, good earning potential, wants children). Relationship quality: both overall and gender-specific qualities should correlate (can have too much of a good thing!). Partner preferences: assortativeness hypothesis suggests we want what we are. Participants and Methods - White British students (N = 93, 51% female, M age 32). 24 most frequently mentioned attributes from study 1 - 5-point scale (from not at all to a great deal). PVQ (Schwartz 1992). 10 value types. (alphas.69-.75). Assessed as 4 dimensions + hedonism: “Overall, how happy are you with your relationship”. 13-item partner preference scale (Buss). Results – Values: Those who score high on Openness to Change (Open to Change minus Conservation) see themselves as: Physically Attractive, Sociable, Dishonest, Lazy worker, Independent. Those high on Self-Transcendence (rather than self-enhancing) see themselves as Unattractive physically, Good listeners, Considerate and Honest, Generous with time and money, Good workers, Romantic and

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Passionate, Supportive of others, Non confident, Easygoing. Hedonists see themselves as: Attractive, Sociable, Humorous, Stimulating conversationalists, Passionate, Adventurous, Non generous with money. Relationship quality - Moderate correlation between PRQs overall and relationship satisfaction (r (74) =.47, p<.001). Those who had moderately or very satisfactory relationships more likely to report that they were faithful, good cooks, caring, honest, financially generous and supportive (vs. those with poor or no relationship). Women who viewed themselves as unattractive significantly more likely to be in a poor/ no relationship than men. We want what we are? PCA reduced partner preferences to Family Orientated, Romantic, intellectual,socially attractive and caring. PRQs reduced to money potential, traditional, and attractive. Family orientated people preferred by those who see themselves as having traditional qualities (r (93) =.35, p<.05). Intellectual partners preferred by those who see their own money potential (r (93) =.26, p<.05)

Study 3: The consequences of PRQs amongst three cultural groups How might PRQs relate to self-esteem across cultures? Self-esteem influences how individual portrays him or herself and the attention they pay to their physical appearance. (Diener et al, 1995). Sedikides et al (2003): collectivists self-enhance on collectivistic attributes and individualists on individualistic attributes. Five cultural groups of mature students and their associates: (1) UK White. N = 173 (64 male), M age 30.09; (2) British Asian N = 127 (56 male). Median age (25-40); (3) Ghanaian. N = 84 (49 male). M age 25.06; (4). Portuguese. N=198 (95 male) M age 22.80; (5) Poles. N=120 (24 male). M age 22.22. Materials - List of 24 most frequently mentioned attributes from study 1. Respondents asked to report how much they possessed each on 5point scale (from not at all to a great deal). Rosenberg Self-esteem scale (10 statements ranked on 5-point scales, from absolutely not true to absolutely true). as from.66 (Gujarati) to.86 (White British, Polish). Selected esteem correlates of PRQs - In brief, across the sample, PRQs were moderately correlated with self-esteem. This correlation highest for Ghanaians (.35) and British Asians (r =.34) but lower for

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Portuguese (.25) and British Whites (.23). Both sex and culture effects for overall attribute score. Women overall felt they possessed the attributes more than men, Portuguese more than the other groups. British Asians rated themselves highest on being Caring (4.00/5.00), Faithful (4.00), Supportive (3.95). Honesty and being a good worker were important for self-esteem. Adventurousness, romance and passion were negative indicators of esteem. British Whites rated themselves highest on being Faithful (4.27/5.00), Honest (4.20), Caring and considerate (4.09). Intelligence, humour and honesty were less important than in other cultures for self-esteem. Being supportive was negatively correlated with esteem, as was financial generosity. Adventurousness and confidence were highly important in predicting esteem. Ghanaians rated themselves highest on being Good workers (4.11/5.00), Intelligent (4.06), Confident (4.06). Confidence, honesty, intelligence, humour and caring nature were particularly important PRQs for self-esteem. Good listening skills were more lowly correlated with self-esteem. Portuguese rated themselves as being highest on Confidence (4.54/5), Honesty (4.49), Faithfulness (4.46). Attractiveness and sociability were particularly strong predictors of esteem. Honesty, passion, romance and cooking skills were very poor or negative predictors of esteem. Poles rated themselves as being highest on Faithfulness (4.05/5.00), Good listeners (3.97), Humour (3.90). Confidence, intelligence particularly strong predictors of esteem, as were passion, attractiveness and easygoing nature. Being romantic or a good worker were poorer predictors of esteem.

Summary and Conclusions (PRQs) Although we know quite a lot about what people desire in a relationship partner, we know little about individual’s perceived relationship qualities. In study 1, women were more likely to say they offered the good looks, good listening skills and child-friendly attributes socio-biologists might have anticipated. Men offered humour and honesty Values, relationship quality and partner preferences - Individual-level values were able to predict the qualities individuals perceived they offered in a reasonably ‘predictable’ way. Thus for example those Open to

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Change offered sociability and independence, and those high on Selftranscendence a supportive nature and good listening skills. Those who saw themselves as having the ‘stable’ qualities of maturity etc. reported better relationship status. PRQs seemed to relate moderately to our preferred partners. Cultural differences - In Study 3, we explored the relationships between self-esteem and PRQs. Possessing an attribute does not mean you value– e.g. British Whites rated themselves as being highly supportive but this was negatively related to esteem. A strong work ethic amongst British Asians was reflected in strongest correlation between work skills and self-esteem. Adventurousness was more significant amongst British Whites and Poles, integrity qualities (e.g. faithfulness, honesty) amongst Ghanaians. Is this just the beginning? Of course, such findings are open to a number of interpretations. Demographic differences in partner preferences (e.g. social class) can be extended to the study of PRQs. The qualities claimed and those sought also offer new avenues for the familiar ‘birds of a feather’ research tradition. The relevance of possessing certain attributes likely to be cross-cultural. Where marriages are at least partly arranged, possessing such qualities may have limited impact on actual partnering opportunities.

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THE AUTHORS AGNALDO GARCIA – Federal University of Espírito Santo, Brazil. BLANCA PATRICIA BALLESTEROS DE VALDERRAMA - Pontificia Universidad Javeriana de Bogotá, Colombia. CLAUDIA CAYCEDO - Pontificia Universidad Javeriana de Bogotá, Colombia. CLIFFORD R. SKOUSEN - Ernst & Young Professor and Associate Dean of the College of Business, Utah State University, USA. DENNYS DEL ROCÍO GARCÍA - Pontificia Universidad Javeriana de Bogotá, Colombia. DU FENG - Texas Tech University – Lubbock, Texas, USA. DUANE CRAWFORD - Texas Tech University – Lubbock, Texas, USA. EBERHARD E. SCHEUING - NAPM Professor of Purchasing and Supply Leadership Emeritus at St. John’s University in New York, USA. FELIX NETO - Porto University, Portugal. JACKI FITZPATRICK - Texas Tech University – Lubbock, Texas, USA. JOSEPH ADONU - Brunel University, England. KERRY CRONAN - Independent practice as a psychologist in Brisbane, Australia. L. DWIGHT ISRAELSEN - Professor of Economics - Utah State University, USA. MÓNICA MA. NOVOA G. - Pontificia Universidad Javeriana de Bogotá, Colombia. PATRICIA NOLLER - Emeritus Professor. School of Psychology, The University of Queensland, Australia PRIYA KANABAR - Brunel University, England. RICHARD L. RATLIFF - Arthur Andersen Alumni Professor - Utah State University, USA. ROBIN GOODWIN – Brunnel University, London, England. ROZZANA SÁNCHEZ-ARAGÓN - National Autonomous University of Mexico, Mexico. SLAWOMIR SPIECWAK - Jagiellonian University, Poland. STELLA SACIPA RODRÍGUEZ - Pontificia Universidad Javeriana de Bogotá, Colombia. TAIRA KOYBAEVA – Utah State University, USA. ZOE WILLIAMS - Brunel University, England.

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EDITORAÇÃO

Edson Maltez Heringer 27 3339-1815 - 8113-1826 - [email protected]

IMPRESSÃO

27 3323-2900 - [email protected]