Running head: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ATTACHMENT 1

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Running  head:    EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE  AND  ATTACHMENT           EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ATTACHMENT STYLE AMONG SUBSTANCE-DEPENDENT CLIENTS

Megan L. Dahl A Capstone Project submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Science Degree in Counselor Education at Winona State University

Fall 2013

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ATTACHMENT   Winona State University College of Education Counselor Education Department

CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL __________________________ CAPSTONE PROJECT ___________________ Emotional Intelligence and Attachment Style Among Substance-Dependent Clients

This is to certify that the Capstone Project of Megan L. Dahl Has been approved by the faculty advisor and the CE 695 – Capstone Project Course Instructor in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Science Degree in Counselor Education

Capstone Project Supervisor: __________________ Name Approval Date: __________________

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ATTACHMENT   Abstract The influence of emotional intelligence and attachment theory on substance use will be explored throughout this paper. Early life experiences impact how an individual relates to his or her environment, while providing a model for interpersonal and emotional functioning. This paper will examine how emotional capabilities and attachment styles are intertwined, particularly within the substance-dependent population. The research discussed throughout this paper serves as a framework for the development of an emotional intelligence curriculum. The curriculum developed includes components of attachment theory and is designed to enhance emotional awareness, understanding, perception, and regulation among substance-dependent clients in a group treatment setting. Keywords: emotional intelligence, attachment, addiction, substance use

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Contents Introduction …………………………………………………………………………………….. 5 Review of Literature ……………………………………………………………………………. 6 Discussion ..……………………………………………………………………………………..13 References ………………………………………………………………………………………14 Emotional Intelligence Manual……………………..……………………………………..Attached

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Introduction A growing number of individuals have become increasingly reliant on mood-altering substances to manage the fears and difficulties intertwined with interpersonal functioning (Flores, 2004). Due to genetic vulnerability and environmental influences, many of these individuals develop dependencies on these substances and suffer the destructive consequences of addiction. As a result, the already limited ability to learn effective ways of managing interpersonal relationships becomes increasingly more difficult once under the influence of psychoactive substances. Individuals who fail to form secure relationships in their childhood are more likely to abuse substances to cope with the insecurity and uncertainty of social interactions. Therefore, individuals who become dependent on addictive substances struggle to regulate their emotions, self-esteem, and relationships (Flores, 2004). A large component of interpersonal functioning is a person’s ability to utilize emotional intelligence skills in social settings. This paper will explore the importance of emotional intelligence in daily interactions as it relates to substance use. In addition, this paper will provide an overview of attachment theory to illustrate how individuals’ early life experiences influence development and social maturity. A discussion about how emotional intelligence and attachment theory are intertwined will be included to further examine the intricacy of addictive disorders. Given the importance of understanding addiction as it relates to emotional intelligence and attachment theory, the final component of this paper includes a psychoeducational group curriculum manual for chemical health treatment. This manual is designed to incorporate the main components of emotional intelligence and attachment theory to effectively treat chemical dependency in an outpatient group treatment setting. It serves as a tool for counselors to utilize when working with substance-dependent clients who struggle with social functioning.

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Review of Literature Individuals engage in constant interaction and communication with their environment. The quality of this interaction is dependent on a variety of factors, which can influence an individual’s ability to navigate through social environments. These factors can originate from past experiences or other personal characteristics that are unique to each person. Individuals’ interests, abilities, cognitions, and expectations can also influence their interpersonal interactions within the environment. Above all, a distinct construct that plays a vital role in personal interaction and communication is emotional intelligence (Mayer, Salovey, & Caruso, 2004). Emotional Intelligence The term emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, understand, and manage emotions in the self and others (Mayer, Salovey, & Caruso, 2004). Salovey and Grewal (2005) describe emotional intelligence as the result of interactions between an individual’s emotions and cognitions that lead to personal growth and adaptive functioning. This concept, which is often referred to as the ability model, defines emotional intelligence as a set of interconnected skills that are organized along four dimensions: (a) perceiving emotions, (b) using emotions to facilitate thought, (c) understanding emotional information, and (d) regulating emotions. Developed by Mayer and Salovey (1997), the ability model of emotional intelligence places emphasis on individuals’ ability to reason and enhance thought through the perception and understanding of emotion. Ability versus mixed model of emotional intelligence. The ability model of emotional intelligence can be distinguished from other, broader concepts labeled mixed models that include personality traits, such as happiness and achievement motivation (Hertel, Schutz, & Lammers, 2009). For example, a well-known model developed by Goleman (1995) combines the core idea

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of emotional intelligence with a variety of other personality characteristics, ranging from emotional self-awareness to distinct qualities such as teamwork and collaboration. While the mixed model of emotional intelligence includes a wide array of competencies that influence performance, its expansive approach makes it difficult to ensure consistency and validity in a research setting (Hertel, Schutz, & Lammers, 2009). Since the ability model does not combine emotional intelligence qualities with other personality traits, practitioners and researchers can clearly distinguish what construct is being examined. Therefore, the ability model will be applied throughout this proposal to conceptualize the construct of emotional intelligence as it relates to substance use. Influence of emotional intelligence on overall health. Throughout the literature, it has been shown that emotional capabilities are significant predictors of health and well-being (Hertel, Schutz, & Lammers, 2009; Khantzian, 2003). For example, researchers have found that emotional abilities are associated with self-awareness and stress management, which have been shown to improve interpersonal functioning (Snyder, Shapiro, & Treleaven, 2012). Additionally, overall physical health tends to be better among individuals who possess adequate emotional skills (Salovey, Stroud, Woolery, & Epel, 2002). In contrast, lack of emotional abilities is associated with deviant behavior (Brackett, Mayer, & Warner, 2004), impulsivity (Hertel, Schutz, & Lammers, 2009), and addictive vulnerability (Khantzian, 2003). The influence of emotional abilities on overall health has been well documented throughout the literature (Hertel, Schutz, & Lammers, 2009; Khantzian, 2003; Salovey, Stroud, Woolery, & Epel, 2002). Similarly, several mental health disorders have been shown to influence an individual’s ability to understand and use emotional information effectively. For example, researchers have found that individuals with major depressive disorder perform

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significantly worse than control groups in regards to the accuracy of emotional perception (Langenecker, Bieliauskas, Rapport, Zubieta, Wilde, & Berent, 2005). Another study conducted by Hertel, Schutz, and Lammers (2009) found that individuals with borderline personality disorder demonstrated more difficulty understanding emotional information and regulating emotions compared to control groups. There is growing evidence that emotional intelligence is associated with overall health and interpersonal functioning. While emotional intelligence has been studied in a wide range of populations and settings, it has not been well characterized in substance-dependent populations. Furthermore, compromised emotional intelligence may be relevant to the understanding and course of substance use disorders. Previous research has established a few connections between emotional intelligence and substance use problems (Kauhanen, Julkunen, & Salonen, 1992; Trinidad & Johnson, 2002). Trinidad and Johnson (2002) examined the relationship between emotional intelligence and adolescent alcohol and tobacco use. The results indicated that adolescents with lower emotional intelligence used more alcohol and tobacco. Additionally, adolescents with high emotional intelligence had a greater ability to read others’ emotional cues and detect unwanted peer pressure (Trinidad & Johnson, 2002). Other research examined the relationship between substance use and alexithymia, a condition that involves difficulty perceiving and expressing emotion and which is strongly associated with low emotional intelligence. Kauhanen, Julkunen, and Salonen (1992) found that individuals with alexithymia exhibited greater alcohol and drug use. In support of these findings, Riley and Schutte (2003) found that low emotional intelligence was a significant predictor of alcohol and drug related problems. Individuals with low emotional intelligence demonstrate difficulty regulating moods and may be less likely to cope with difficult emotions, which has

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been illustrated in the literature as a predictor of substance use problems (Salovey, Bedell, Detweiler, & Mayer, 1999). Emotional intelligence is related to many values such as the quality of interpersonal relationships, overall life satisfaction, and achievement in work life. The ability to understand and manage emotions is strongly associated with social behaviors that most people tend to engage in on a daily basis (Lopes, Salovey, & Straus, 2003). There are many factors that influence self-awareness, positive communication with others, and self-regulation. Family, friends, and school often play a significant role in an individual’s emotional development. Early childhood experiences have powerful effects on emotional intelligence abilities, which set the foundation for how individuals will relate to their environment and respond to social interactions (Hamarta, Deniz, Saltali, 2009). Attachment Theory A person’s identity begins to develop during the early years of life through interactions and relationships with his or her environment. Attachment theory, formulated by Bowlby (1982), is a psychological model of human connection. This theory suggests that (a) human beings are wired to connect to one another on an emotional level; (b) a child’s development is strongly influenced by early life experiences and relationships with others, particularly with primary caregivers; and (c) early caregiving experiences are developmental pathways that serve as a prototype for future relationships with others (Hamarta, Deniz, & Saltali, 2009). According to Bowlby (1982), children seek comfort and connection with others in certain situations, particularly when they are fearful, tired, or ill. These bonds serve as sources of comfort, support, and safety. If these signals of distress are acknowledged and relieved by primary caregivers, the child will be more willing to explore his or her environment with confidence and curiosity.

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Attachment theory asserts that children’s earliest relationships create a template that shapes expectations and beliefs about future relationships (Bowlby, 1982). These mental models help individuals organize life experiences and are related to their relationships with others during infancy, childhood, and adulthood (Hamarta, Deniz, & Saltali, 2009). Early caregiving experiences are internalized as working models that provide unwritten rules for how an individual perceives, expresses, and copes with negative emotions. According to Bowlby (1982), attachment with primary caregivers teaches the child basic rules for relationships, including social cues, conversational guidelines, attunement, and self-regulation. Four major categories of attachment have been developed to describe relationship patterns and implications for later development: secure, (insecure) avoidant, (insecure) anxious/ambivalent, and (insecure) disorganized (Bowlby, 1982). Research has illustrated that secure attachment generally results in positive feelings about the self and others, while insecure attachment results in difficulty establishing and maintaining positive relationships later during life (Snyder, Shapira, Treleaven, 2012). A longitudinal study observed the attachment style and patterns of children from the ages of one to five. The authors of this study found that children with secure attachment were described as cheerful, popular, and well-liked. Children who showed insecure attachment styles were viewed as unhappy, distant, and alienated (Bowlby, 1988). Early childhood experiences influence how individuals relate to others and understand the world around them. Attachment theory provides an explanation for how people learn to manage negative emotions and respond to stressful situations within the environment. Relationship Between Emotional Intelligence and Attachment Theory Attachment theory has been referred to in the literature as an emotional-regulation model (Kobak & Sceery, 1988). From this perspective, Kobak and Sceery (1988) argue that internal

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working models of attachment serve as guidelines that orient an individual’s emotional reactions to stressful situations. In other words, how an individual learns to respond to negative emotions during the early years of life predict how he or she will regulate emotions throughout development. The ability to manage stressful situations and regulate emotions are essential skills needed to effectively engage in social interactions. When examined in terms of attachment styles, there are research findings that suggest securely attached individuals can better cope with negative emotions in social situations, possess more positive emotions during interpersonal interactions, and are better able to utilize emotional-regulation skills when necessary when compared with insecure persons (Kobak & Sceery, 1988). Given these findings, there appears to be a correlation between attachment style and emotional intelligence abilities within the literature. Hamarta, Deniz, and Saltali (2009) found that secure attachment style is associated with emotional intelligence abilities, such as the perception, understanding, and management of emotions. In addition, people with secure attachment styles have better intrapersonal skills, higher self-confidence and self-awareness, and an increased ability to cope with emotional difficulties compared to those with insecure attachment styles (Hamarta, Deniz, & Saltali, 2009). Another study discovered that securely attached adults reported greater self worth, had more meaningful intimate relationships, and were better able to cope with distressing situations compared with insecure persons (Kim, 2005). Although the literature has uncovered a significant relationship between attachment style and emotional intelligence, there has been little research examining this relationship among substance-dependent individuals. Philip Flores, a clinical psychologist who specializes in addictive disorders and group therapy, has extensively investigated the concept of attachment theory as it relates to substance use. According to Flores (2004), addiction is a disorder of self-

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regulation. Individuals who become dependent on addictive substances are unable to regulate their emotions, self-esteem, self-care, and relationships. Flores argues that individuals who already have difficulty establishing emotionally regulating attachments are more likely to substitute drugs and alcohol for their deficiency in intimacy. Therefore, addiction becomes both a consequence and a solution to the lack of satisfying relationships (Flores, 2004). Attachment theory holds the position that everyone needs attachment figures to help provide emotional regulation (Bowlby, 1982). If an individual suffers deficits in the area of attachment, he or she may be more vulnerable to affect disruption. Vulnerable individuals become more dependent on external sources and do not possess the necessary interpersonal skills to achieve regulation the way our species is genetically hardwired to get it – through other people (Flores, 2004). Therefore, some individuals rely on substance use or other addictive behaviors as a distraction from internal discomfort and a way to manage difficulties from interpersonal relationships. As a result, the interpersonal skills that substance users acquired prior to substance abuse depreciate even further, worsening an already fragile capacity for attachment. Substance users typically experience difficulty identifying their feelings and communicating their emotions to others. Emotions are not only vital to self-awareness, but also essential to the understanding of others’ feelings and experiences. Flores (2004) argues that in order for long-term sobriety to be obtained, substance users must learn how to resolve conflicts in their relationships and develop effective ways to identify their feelings and communicate their emotions to others.

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Discussion The influence of emotional intelligence on overall functioning and health has been well documented. Emotional intelligence abilities begin developing at a young age, serving as the foundation for interpersonal functioning and relationship satisfaction. Individuals who fail to form secure attachments as a child tend to have difficulty perceiving and managing emotions in self and in others. This makes it more challenges to form positive relationships in adulthood, resulting in feelings of isolation and insecurity. As a result, many individuals turn to moodaltering substances to cope with these negative emotions, thus perpetuating the cycle of emotional disregulation. The development of an emotional intelligence curriculum stems from the assumption that emotional intelligence abilities can be taught and used to improve overall functioning. Improving emotional intelligence among the substance-dependent population will likely improve social abilities and emotional understanding. Incorporating an emotional intelligence curriculum in an outpatient treatment setting will expectantly improve clients’ relational capabilities, therefore making it easier for them to form healthy attachments and foster positive relationships with others. Consequently, individuals will be less likely to depend on substances to manage the negative emotions that result from past experiences and previous attachment patterns.

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References Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base. New York: Basic Books. Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment (2nd ed.). New York: Basic Books. Brackett, M. A., Mayer, J. D., & Warner, R. M. (2004). Emotional intelligence and its relation to everyday behaviour. Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, 36(6), 13871402. Collins, N. L. & Read, S. J. (1990). Adult attachment, working models, and relationship quality in dating couples. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 644-663. Flores, P. (2004). Addiction as an attachment disorder. New York: Jason Aronson, Inc. Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam Books, Inc. Hamarta, E., Deniz, M. E., & Saltali, N. (2009). Attachment styles as a predictor of emotional intelligence. Kuram ve Uygulamada Egitim Bilimleri, 9, 213-229. Hertel, J., Schutz, A., & Lammers, C. (2009). Emotional intelligence and mental disorder. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 65(9), 942-954. doi: 10.1002/jcip.20597 Kauhanen, J., Julkunen, J., & Salonen, J. T. (1992). Coping with inner feelings and stress: Heavy alcohol use in the context of alexithymia. Behavioural Medicine, 18, 121-126. Khantzian, E. J. (2003). Understanding addictive vulnerability: An evolving psychodynamic perspective. Neuro-Psychoanalysis, 5, 5-21. Kim, Y. (2005). Emotional and cognitive consequences of adult attachment: The mediating effect of the self. Personality and Individual Differences, 39, 913-923. Kobak, R. R. & Sceery, A. (1988). Attachment in late adolescence: Working models, affect regulation, and perceptions of self and others. Child Development, 59, 135-146 Langenecker, S. A., Bieliauskas, L. A., Rapport, L. J., Zubieta, J. K., Wilde, E. A., & Berent, S.

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(2005). Face emotion perception and executive functioning deficits in depression. Journal of Clinical and Experimental Neuropsychology, 27, 320–333. Lopes, P. N., Salovey, P., & Straus, R. (2003). Emotional intelligence, personality and the perceived quality of social relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 35, 641-658. Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. (2004). Emotional intelligence: Theory, findings, and implications. Psychological Inquiry, 15, 197–215. Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., Caruso, D. R., & Sitarenios, G. (2003). Measuring emotional intelligence with the MSCEIT V2.0. Emotion, 3, 97-105. Mayer, J. D. & Salovey, P. (1997). What is emotional intelligence? In P. Salovey & D.J. Sluyter (Eds.), Emotional development and emotional intelligence: Educational implications. New York: Basic Books. Riley, H. & Schutte, N. S. (2003). Low emotional intelligence as a predictor of substance-use problems. J. Drug Education, 33(4), 391-398. Salovey, P., & Grewal, D. (2005). The science of emotional intelligence. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14, 281–285. Salovey, P., Stroud, L. R., Woolery, A., & Epel, E. S. (2002). Perceived emotional intelligence, stress reactivity, and symptom reports: Further explorations using the trait meta-mood scale. Psychology and Health, 17, 611–627. Salovey, P., Bedell, B. T., Detweiler, J. B., & Mayer, J. D. (1999). Coping intelligently: Emotional intelligence and the coping process, in Coping: The psychology of what works, C. R. Snyder (Ed.). New York: Oxford University Press. Snyder, R., Shapiro, S., & Treleaven, D. (2012). Attachment theory and mindfulness. Journal

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of Child and Family Studies, 21, 709-717. doi: 10.1007/s10826-011-9522-8 Trinidad, D. R. & Johnson, C. A. (2002). The association between emotional intelligence and early adolescent tobacco and alcohol use. Personality and Individual Differences, 32, 95105.                              

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EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE  MANUAL   w w w  

 

A  Psychoeducational  Group  Curriculum  for  Chemical  Health  Treatment  

 

                                                     

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Contents    

Overview    

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Session  1  –  What  Is  Emotional  Intelligence?             Emotional  Intelligence  Characteristics         Personal  Goals                 How  Am  I  Feeling?               Feelings  Chart             Session  2  –  Emotional  Perception             Session  3  –  Emotional  Use                   Conflict  Management  Style  Quiz           Conflict  Management  Styles         Session  4  –  Emotional  Understanding               Empathy  and  Emotional  Intelligence           Social  Strategies                 Emotional  Responses           Session  5  –  Emotional  Management             Session  6  –  Putting  It  All  Together                 Self-­‐Care  Plan                 Program  Evaluation        

           

 

 

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Overview    

This  manual  is  designed  to  serve  as  an  integrative  tool  within  an  outpatient   primary  treatment  group.    The  information  included  in  this  curriculum  is   derived  from  Mayer  and  Salovey’s  (1997)  ability  model  of  emotional   intelligence.    This  model  defines  emotional  intelligence  as  a  set  of   interconnected  skills  that  are  organized  along  four  dimensions:  (a)  perceiving   emotions,  (b)  using  emotions  to  facilitate  thought,  (c)  understanding   emotional  information,  and  (d)  regulating  emotions.    The  sessions  outlined   within  this  manual  emulate  the  ability  model  of  emotional  intelligence.    In   addition,  various  elements  of  attachment  theory  are  also  incorporated   throughout  the  curriculum  to  enhance  personal  and  social  awareness.     While  this  manual  may  be  beneficial  for  a  variety  of  populations,  it  was   originally  developed  to  meet  the  unique  needs  of  the  substance-­‐dependent   population.    The  information  included  in  this  manual  is  psychoeducational  in   nature,  exploring  the  effects  that  substance  use  has  on  emotional   development.    Several  methods  of  instruction  are  incorporated  throughout   the  curriculum  to  ensure  that  the  unique  learning  styles  of  all  recipients  are   included.    The  curriculum  is  designed  to  be  taught  over  the  course  of  six   weeks,  resulting  in  one  session  per  week.    Each  session  is  intended  to  last   approximately  three  hours.    This  manual  will  discuss  what  emotional   intelligence  is,  how  it  relates  to  substance  use,  and  how  it  can  be  enhanced  to   provide  a  greater  quality  of  life.      

           

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Session  1 w     Session Goals: -

What  Is  Emotional  Intelligence?  

Facilitate introductions and check-in question Define emotional intelligence and discuss its importance in daily functioning Identify characteristics of an emotionally intelligent person Establish personal goals related to emotional intelligence

Materials: -

Refreshments and light snacks White board and writing utensils Emotional Intelligence Characteristics handout Personal Goals handout How Am I Feeling? handout Feelings Chart handout

Activity 1 Invite group members to introduce themselves and discuss the check-in question written on the white board. § Check-in question: How has your substance use impacted your ability to experience emotions? § Encourage members to provide feedback to each other, while acknowledging commonalities among the group. Activity 2 Briefly define and explain emotional intelligence to the group. Below are some key points that should be communicated to the group. § EI is a set of skills that people learn that enhances emotional development. § It includes the ability to perceive, understand, and manage emotions in self and in others. § Some examples of emotional intelligence characteristics include: empathy, selfregulation, self-awareness, confidence, adaptability, communication, and conflict management. Ask the group to discuss how emotional intelligence might effect daily functioning, particularly focusing on how substance use could interfere with emotional intelligence abilities. Facilitate and open discussion and provide information when necessary. § Describe impact on physical and emotional health, as well as how it influences social functioning. à BREAK Activity 3 Distribute Emotional Intelligence Characteristics handout to the group. Ask them to think about someone they consider to excel at attaining effective relationships with others. Ask them to identify and describe the attitudes, values, skills, and knowledge that this person has that makes

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  them emotionally intelligent. After the group has completed the handout, discuss their reactions and responses. It may be helpful to write their answers on the white board for deeper understanding of the characteristics associated with emotional intelligence. Activity 4 Distribute Personal Goals handout to the group. Explain the importance of setting personal goals throughout the process of gaining emotional competence. Provide an example of a specific, measureable goal that could be applied to this setting. Allow time for questions. § Once the group has completed the handout, ask members to share their personal goals and how they plan on attaining them. Encourage members to provide feedback and suggestions. § Ask the group to bring their groups with them each week. à Distribute How Am I Feeling? handout for homework. Explain to the group that next week’s session will focus on emotional perception, which is being able to recognize and gain awareness into personal emotions. To prepare for this session, they should begin recognizing their emotions and thoughts in a log, which will be discussed at the beginning of next session. Hand out the Feelings Chart for assistance.

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Emotional Intelligence Characteristics Think about someone in your life who excels at attaining effective relationships with others. What makes them so effective? Identify and describe the attitudes, values, skills, and knowledge that this person has that makes them so effective.    

ATTITUDES:    

VALUES:    

SKILLS:  

KNOWLEDGE:  

 

 

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Personal Goals Listed below is a guideline for setting reasonable goals for yourself, referred to as the SMART approach to goal setting. These goals will help you gain a better understanding of your emotional intelligence abilities.

 

Now, It’s Your Turn!

Write three specific goals you want to achieve while learning about emotional intelligence:

1. 2. 3.   Adapted  from  http://www.topachievement.com  

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How Am I Feeling? FEELING AND THOUGHT RECORD

Date

Feelings

Embarrassed 12/10 Frustrated Angry

Intensity (1-10)

7

Event

Thoughts

Co-worker made fun of me in front of my boss

“I want to get back at him.” “I’m a failure.” “I look like an idiot.”

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  Adapted  from  http://www.cindybultema.blogspot.com  

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Session  2 w     Session Goals: -

Emotional  Perception  

Facilitate check-in question and homework discussion Define emotional perception and discuss its importance to emotional intelligence Practice identifying and perceiving emotions in self and others Engage in a mindfulness activity to promote self-awareness

Materials: -

Refreshments and light snacks White board and writing utensils

Activity 1 Invite group members to take turns discussing the check-in question written on the white board. § Check-in question: How do people learn to recognize their emotions? § Encourage members to provide feedback to each other, while incorporating psychoeducational pieces to the discussion. o Briefly discuss how early life experiences can influence a person’s ability to perceive emotions in self and in others. o Encourage members to explore how their substance use has interfered with their ability to recognize emotions. Activity 2 Review homework assignment. Invite group members to share their reactions to the thought and feeling log. Ask members to provide personal examples and share how aware they were of their feelings. § Was this assignment difficult? § What obstacles did you encounter as you were competing this assignment? § How were you able to identify your emotions? Activity 3 Briefly define and explain emotional perception to the group. Below are some key points that should be communicated to the group. § Emotional perception is a person’s ability to recognize his/her own emotions and to pick up on the emotional cues from others. § Emotional perception is the primary skill of EI because if a person cannot perceive emotions, he/she cannot learn to manage them. § The key component of emotional perception is self-awareness – learning to become fully aware of feelings as they occur. Ask the group to discuss their strengths and weaknesses regarding self-awareness and their ability to perceive others’ emotions. à BREAK

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  Activity 4 Invite the group to form dyads. Ask members to think of an event listed on their feeling and thought log that evoked a strong emotion. Taking turns, members will then role-play this scenario in their dyad. Members should express their thoughts and reactions to the event without stating the emotion they experienced. Their partner will then guess the emotion(s) that is being demonstrated in the role-play. § This activity is designed to increase emotional perception and recognition. Members are gaining awareness into others’ emotions and learning to label various feelings in their context. After role-plays are complete, discuss the activity and any personal reactions. § Ask group members what they were feeling during the activity and check-in with them on how they are feeling in the moment. Activity 5 Facilitate a mindfulness activity to promote self-awareness. Through a guided mindfulness exercise, group members will be able to sense emotional responses and learn to appreciate each emotion as it occurs. Discuss members’ reactions after the exercise. à Allow time for questions and follow-up discussion. Inform group members of next session and remind them to bring their personal goals for review.

                     

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Session  3 w     Session Goals: -

Emotional  Use  

Facilitate check-in question and review personal goals and progress Define emotional use and discuss its importance to emotional intelligence Introduce the thought cycle to illustrate how emotions and thoughts interact Discuss various conflict management styles for additional insight

Materials: -

Refreshments and light snacks White board and writing utensils Conflict Management Style Quiz handout Conflict Management Styles handout

Activity 1 Invite group members to take turns discussing the check-in question written on the white board. § Check-in question: How has your childhood impacted your emotional health? § Encourage members to provide feedback to each other, while incorporating psychoeducational pieces to the discussion. o Discuss how past experiences can shape our ability to use emotions effectively, which can then impact personal relationships and decision-making. Activity 2 Ask members to reflect on their personal goals and encourage them to discuss any obstacles they are experiencing that may prevent them from reaching their goals. § What do you need from the group to assist you in obtaining your goals? § How is your emotional health impacting your progress? § What steps need to be taken to enhance your level of emotional intelligence? Activity 3 Briefly define and explain emotional use to the group. Below are some key points that should be communicated to the group. § Emotional use is the ability to use emotions to facilitate thought. In order to do so, individuals must first become aware of their emotions and how they influence the thought process. § Emotions can be used for various cognitive tasks, including problem solving and conflict management. § Positive and negative emotions can be used to facilitate thought, when then leads to a behavior/outcome. Diagram the thought cycle (illustrated below) to describe this process on the white board. Ask the group to list examples of repetitive thoughts and emotions that have the ability to influence behavior. Plug their examples into the thought cycle on the white board.

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]  

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Belief  

Outcome  

Behavior  

Thought  

Feeling  

à BREAK Activity 4 Distribute the Conflict Management Style Quiz handout to the group members. Ask them to complete the quiz and score their results. Discuss the conflict management styles of each member, using the Conflict Management Styles handout. § Explain to the group how our emotions can be used to positively or negatively to resolve conflict, depending on the situation and how we perceive that situation. § Provide examples of scenarios where conflict management skills are necessary. Ask the group to brainstorm various ways to resolve the given conflict. à Allow time for questions and discussion. Inform group members of next session.

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Conflict Management Style Quiz Listed below are 15 statements. Assign each statement a numerical value from 1 (always) to 5 (rarely) as it relates to you. Don’t answer as you think you should – answer as you actually behave.

____ a.

I argue my case with peers, colleagues and coworkers to demonstrate the merits of the position I take.

____ b.

I try to reach compromises through negotiation.

____ c.

I attempt to meet the expectation of others.

____ d.

I seek to investigate issues with others in order to find solutions that are mutually acceptable.

____ e.

I am firm in resolve when it comes to defending my side of the issue.

____ f.

I try to avoid being singled out, keeping conflict with others to myself.

____ g.

I uphold my solutions to problems.

____ h.

I compromise in order to reach solutions.

____ i.

I trade important information with others so that problems can be solved together.

____ j.

I avoid discussing my differences with others.

____ k.

I try to accommodate the wishes of my peers and colleagues.

____ l.

I seek to bring everyone's concerns out into the open in order to resolve disputes in the best possible way.

____ m.

I put forward middles positions in efforts to break deadlocks.

____ n.

I accept the recommendations of colleagues, peers, and coworkers.

____ o.

I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself.

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Scoring:

The 15 statements you just read are listed below under five categories. Each category contains the letters of three statements. Record the number you placed next to each statement on the chart below. Calculate the total under each category. STYLE

Results:

TOTAL

Competing

a.

e.

g.

Collaborating

d.

i.

l.

Avoiding

f.

j.

o.

Accommodating c.

k.

n.

Compromising

h.

m.

b.

My dominant style is (lowest score): ___________________ My back-up style is (second lowest score): ___________________

Adapted  from  http://www.essentialgptrainingbook.com  

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]    

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Conflict Management Styles

The Competing Shark • • • • • • • •

Sharks use a forcing or competing conflict management style Highly goal-oriented; relationships take on a lower priority Sharks do not hesitate to use aggressive behavior to resolve conflicts Sharks can be autocratic, authoritative, and uncooperative; threatening and intimidating Sharks have a need to win; therefore others must lose, creating win-lose situations Advantage: If the shark's decision is correct, a better decision without compromise can result Disadvantage: May breed hostility and resentment toward the person using it Appropriate times to use a Shark style: o when conflict involves personal differences that are difficult to change o when fostering intimate or supportive relationships is not critical o when conflict resolution is urgent; when decision is vital in crisis o when unpopular decisions need to be implemented

The Avoiding Turtle • • • • • •

Turtles adopt an avoiding or withdrawing conflict management style Turtles would rather hide and ignore conflict than resolve it; this leads them uncooperative and unassertive Turtles tend to give up personal goals and display passive behavior creating lose/lose situations Advantage: may help to maintain relationships that would be hurt by conflict resolution Disadvantage: Conflicts remain unresolved, overuse of the style leads to others walking over them Appropriate times to use a Turtle style: o when the stakes are not high or issue is trivial o when confrontation will hurt a working relationship o when there is little chance of satisfying your wants o when gathering information is more important than an immediate decision

The Accommodating Teddy Bear •

Teddy bears use a smoothing or accommodating conflict management style

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  • • • •

with emphasis on human relationships Teddy bears ignore their own goals and resolve conflict by giving into others; unassertive and cooperative creating a win-lose (bear is loser) situation Advantage: Accommodating maintains relationships Disadvantage: Giving in may not be productive, bear may be taken advantage of Appropriate times to use a Teddy Bear style: o when maintaining the relationship outweighs other considerations o when minimizing losses in situations where outmatched or losing

The Compromising Fox • • • • • •

Foxes use a compromising conflict management style; concern is for goals and relationships Foxes are willing to sacrifice some of their goals while persuading others to give up part of theirs Compromise is assertive and cooperative-result is either win-lose or lose-lose Advantage: relationships are maintained and conflicts are removed Disadvantage: compromise may create less than ideal outcome and game playing can result Appropriate times to use a Fox style: o when important/complex issues leave no clear or simple solutions o when all conflicting people are equal in power and have strong interests in different solutions o when their are no time restraints

The Collaborating Owl

• Owls use a collaborating or problem confronting conflict management style valuing their goals and relationships • Owls view conflicts as problems to be solved finding solutions agreeable to all sides (win-win) • Advantage: both sides get what they want and negative feelings eliminated • Disadvantage: takes a great deal of time and effort • Appropriate times to use an Owl style: o when maintaining relationships is important o when trying to gain commitment through consensus building o when learning and trying to merge differing perspectives Adapted  from  http://www.essentialgptrainingbook.com  

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]  

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Session  4 w     Session Goals: -

Emotional  Understanding  

Facilitate check-in question Define emotional understanding and discuss its importance in daily functioning Discuss empathy and how it relates to emotional understanding Practice emotional understanding skills Review social strategies to obtain emotional understanding and enhance emotional intelligence

Materials: -

Refreshments and light snacks White board and writing utensils Empathy and Emotional Intelligence handout Social Strategies handout Emotional Responses handout

Activity 1 Invite group members to take turns discussing the check-in question written on the white board. § Check-in question: To what degree are you able to recognize others’ emotional states? § Encourage members to provide feedback to each other, while processing what members’ share. o How did you develop the skills to recognize others’ emotions? o When do you struggle understanding how others feel? o When have you felt emotionally misunderstood? Activity 2 Briefly define and explain emotional understanding to the group. Below are some key points that should be communicated to the group. § Emotional understanding is the ability to recognize the various shades of emotions that exist and how different emotions interact with each other. § This skill includes the ability to pick up on social cues and effectively perceive the emotions of others through body language, facial qualities, and other nonverbal behavior. § Emotional understanding allows an individual to sense what others are feeling and understand situations from others’ perspective. o Also referred to as empathy, which enhances interpersonal relationships. § Through patterns of substance use, many individuals struggle to understand others’ emotions and experiences, which can have negative effects on relationships. Ask the group to discuss their strengths and weaknesses regarding emotional understanding and their ability to recognize nonverbal behavior. à BREAK

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  Activity 3 Distribute Empathy and Emotional Intelligence handout to group members. Allow them time to review the handout. § Invite the group to discuss personal biases that may interfere with their ability to empathize with others. o I.e. “I have plenty issues of my own to deal with. I can’t worry about how other people are feeling.” “No one ever cared about my feelings, so why should I care about theirs?” § Encourage the group to develop additional techniques that would increase their ability to empathize and demonstrate emotional understanding. § Ask group members to notice nonverbal cues throughout the session. Discuss what these cues might mean. Activity 4 Ask the group to break up into 3-4 small groups to practice empathic understanding. Instruct one member from each group to describe a real-life scenario in which he or she experienced a strong emotional response. Encourage the other group members to ask open-ended questions to obtain more understanding of how the person felt, thought, and behaved. Provide examples of questions for assistance. The group members are only allowed to ask questions that start with Who, What, Where, and How. Give groups approximately 15 minutes to ask their questions. § “How did that experience make you feel?” “What was it like for you to feel vulnerable?” “How did you respond to the situation?” “What did it look like when you got angry?” Activity 5 Distribute Social Strategies handout to group members. Ask members to identify which strategies would be most beneficial to them in developing emotional intelligence. § Discuss these strategies and how they apply to emotional understanding. § Brainstorm “feeling goals” and list these goals on the white board for further discussion. o I.e. “I want my wife to feel appreciated in our marriage.” “I want to feel confident at work.” à Distribute Emotional Responses handout for homework. Explain to the group that next week’s session will focus on emotional management, which is being able to regulate emotions and take responsibility for our feelings. To prepare for this session, members should begin to recognize how they respond to negative emotions. Ask the members to complete this assignment and bring it to next session for discussion.

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Empathy and Emotional Intelligence

Empathy is the ability to recognize and understand another person’s emotional state. The better you are at understanding the feeling behind others’ emotional signals, the better you can control the signals you send. This can be especially difficult if you don’t agree with what the person is feeling. Empathy involves listening attentively, picking up on the true meaning of what people are saying, and responding accordingly. Attempting to understand the emotional state of other people makes them feel understood.

To be more effective when practicing empathy, try these techniques:

1. Recognize your own bias: Our negative emotions can impact how we perceive others’ emotions. 2. Put aside your own emotions: If you are too concerned about your own feelings, it can interfere with your ability to empathize with another person’s feelings. 3. Recognize social cues: Tell people what you notice and ask for confirmation about what you are sensing.

What other techniques can you come up with?

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]    

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Social Strategies

Listed below are several strategies that might benefit you in developing your emotional intelligence. Read these strategies and highlight the ones that would be most beneficial for you going forward. 1. Use feelings to set and achieve goals. §  Set “feeling goals.” Think about how you want to feel or how you want others to feel. (Your family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc.). §  Get feedback and track progress towards your “feeling goals” by periodically measuring your feelings and other’s feelings on a scale from 0-10 2. Validate other people's feelings. § Show empathy, understanding, and acceptance of other people's feelings. 3. Use feelings to show respect for others. § How will you feel if I do this? How will you feel if I don't? § Then listen and take their feelings into consideration. 4. Don't advise, command, control, criticize, judge or lecture others. §

Instead, just listen with empathy and non-judgment.

5. Avoid people who invalidate you. §

While this is not always possible, at least try to spend less time with them, or try not to let them have psychological power over you.

        Adapted  from  Dental  Influencers,  2012  

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]    

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Emotional Responses Think about a recent situation that led you to experience negative emotions. Complete the table to gain insight into your emotional responses.

Questions  

Your  Responses  

When  did  the  situation  happen?  

 

What  happened?  (Describe  the   event.)  

 

Why  do  you  think  that  situation     happened?  (Identify  the     causes.)   How  did  that  situation  make   you  feel,  both  emotionally  and   physically?  

Emotions:     Physical  sensations:

What  did  you  want  to  do  as  a   result  of  how  you  felt?  (What   were  your  urges?)  

 

What  did  you  do  and  say?   (What  actions/behaviors  did   you  engage  in  as  a  result  of  how   you  felt?)  

 

How  did  your  emotions  and   actions  affect  you  later?  (What   short-­‐term  and  long-­‐term   consequences  were  there  as  a   result  of  your  actions?)  

 

 

  Adapted  from  http://www.docstoc.com  

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]  

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Session  5 w     Session Goals: -

Emotional  Management  

Facilitate check-in question and homework discussion Define emotional management and discuss its importance in daily functioning

Materials: -

Refreshments and light snacks White board and writing utensils

Activity 1 Invite group members to take turns discussing the check-in question written on the white board. § Check-in question: What emotions do you experience that feel most disruptive to you and your life that you would like to regulate? § Encourage members to provide feedback to each other, while incorporating psychoeducational pieces to the discussion. o Discuss how people learn to manage their emotions. How do we learn to regulate ourselves when we feel overwhelmed? How did you deal with your emotions when you were using? o Invite group members to discuss how emotions were dealt with during their childhood. Were emotions talked about? When you were angry/sad/etc., what were you expected to do? Activity 2 Review homework assignment. Invite group members to share their reactions to the assignment. Ask members to provide examples of negative events and to share how they responded in those situations. § Was this assignment difficult? § What obstacles did you encounter as you were competing this assignment? § What would you have done different in that situation? § Was your emotional response helpful/unhelpful? Activity 3 Briefly define and explain emotional management to the group. Below are some key points that should be communicated to the group. § Emotional management is the ability to self-regulate emotions and to regulate emotions in others. A person with a high level of emotional management can deal with positive and negative emotions in a productive way to complete various social and personal tasks. § This skills allows us to experience emotions without being controlled by them, which increases our ability to build strong and rewarding relationships. § Emotional management requires people to take responsibility to their emotions and find effective ways of coping with difficult feelings. à BREAK

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  Activity 4 Create two columns on the white board, one labeled Fears and the other labeled Desires. Ask group members to fill in the columns with various fears and desires they have in life. The table shown provides an example of possible fears and desires that may be present throughout the group.

Fears

Desires

Fear of disapproval Fear of rejection Fear of failure Fear of losing control Fear of dying Fear of losing my job Fear of offending others Fear of being alone Fear of pain Fear of uncertainty Fear of losing power Fear of being vulnerable

Desire for wealth Desire for happiness Desire for success Desire for acceptance Desire for approval Desire for sobriety Desire for security Desire for pleasure Desire for power Desire for growth Desire for love

Explain to the group that emotional reactions tend to stem from two main emotions – fear and desire. When a person’s values are being threatened, an emotional response occurs. As a result, the individual may begin to feel a loss of control followed by a variety of other emotional responses. - For example, if we value family, we will strongly react to fears that threaten our family or our relationships with them. We will also respond to desires that would enhance those relationships and benefit our family. - Therefore, if my hours at work get cut, I might feel angry – not because of my work hours, but because of my fear of disappointing my family and my desire to provide for them.   Ask group members to reflect on their own values and ask them them to discuss how their emotional responses might be linked to their values, fears, and desires. Encourage them to use the Emotional Responses homework assignment for assistance. Activity 5 Invite group members to brainstorm various coping strategies that would increase emotional management during stressful situations. - How would these skills help to control emotional responses? - What has worked in the past when you become upset?

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]  

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  -

How might you respond when someone else is having difficulty controlling his/her emotional response?

Some examples include: deep breathing exercising, distraction, preferred activities, positive selftalk, exercise, listening to music, thought-stopping. à Allow time for questions and discussion. Inform group members of final session and remind them to bring their personal goals for review.

                               

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]  

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Session  6 w     Session Goals: -

Putting  It  All  Together  

Facilitate check-in question Review personal goals related to emotional intelligence and develop new goals Develop a self-care plan for continued growth and emotional well-being Complete evaluation of curriculum

Materials: -

Refreshments and light snacks White board and writing utensils Self-Care Plan handout Program Evaluation handout

Activity 1 Invite group members to take turns discussing the check-in question written on the white board. § Check-in question: How can you continue improving your emotional intelligence throughout your daily life? § Encourage members to provide feedback to each other, while asking relevant questions to deepen the discussion. o What area of emotional intelligence do you continue to struggle with? o How might you apply what you’ve learned in your personal relationships? o Has your sobriety influenced your ability to gain emotional intelligence? o What are the benefits of practicing emotional competency? Activity 2 Ask group members to take turns sharing their personal goals. Gain an understanding of their emotional intelligence capabilities and encourage group members to provide feedback on each other’s progress. o What helped you reach your goal? What could you have done differently to meet your goal and gain more emotional intelligence? o How has this group helped you in reaching your goals? Invite group members to add new goals to their list moving forward. Encourage them to continue building their emotional intelligence abilities and improving various aspects of their life. Ask members to share their new goals to the rest of the group. à BREAK Activity 3 Distribute the Self-Care Plan handout to the group members. Explain the importance of developing a self-care plan for overall well-being and development. Ask group members to complete the self-care plan, focusing on how they will continue growing and building emotional intelligence in all areas of their life. Invite each member to present their self-care plan to the rest of the group.

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]  

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  à Allow time for extended discussion and questions. Thank the group for participating in this program and being open to learn new skills. Distribute the Program Evaluation handout to group members and ask them to complete the form before they leave.

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]    

Self-Care Plan PHYSICAL GOALS

1.

OBJECTIVES TO ACCOMPLISH GOAL

1. 2.

2.

1. 2.

3.

1. 2.

EMOTIONAL GOALS

1.

1. 2.

2,

1. 2.

3,

1. 2.

SPIRITUAL GOALS

1.

    28    

1. 2.

TIMELINE

 [EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE]    

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Program Evaluation Your feedback on the emotional intelligence curriculum is highly valued. This information is voluntary and will be kept confidential. You do not need to put your name on the sheet, as all information will remain anonymous. Your honest feedback will help improve group counseling services. Please fill out this form and return it to your group leader.

For #1-9, please circle the number along the scale that best represents your counseling experience: 5 = strongly agree

4 = agree

3 = neutral

2 = disagree

1 = strongly disagree

1.

I made progress toward my personal goals in this program.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

2.

I can work more effectively on my personal problems.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

3.

I can better understand my emotions.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

4.

I can better communicate my thoughts and feelings.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

5.

I am more sensitive to, and accepting of, emotions in others.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

6.

I have a deeper understanding of how I deal with difficult emotions.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

7.

I feel that I can better handle my feelings and behavior.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

8.

I have healthier relationships with others.

N/A 5 4 3 2 1

9.

I am satisfied with my overall experience in this program. N/A 5 4 3 2 1 (If disagree, please explain)______________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________

10.

How could the group counselor improve?_____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________

11.

Further comments on any of the above scales or about your group experience (use the back of this form if you need more room):________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

Group Counselor’s Name _______________________________

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Running head: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ATTACHMENT 1

Running  head:    EMOTIONAL  INTELLIGENCE  AND  ATTACHMENT           EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND ATTACHMENT STYLE AMONG SUBSTANCE-DEPENDENT CLIENTS Me...

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