Sunny Side of "Insignificance" [PDF]

The Sunny Side of Insignificance, Humor and satire, 'Credo, quia absurdum est. Brevis esse laboro, Obscurus fio.'

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Idea Transcript


[Endless] Ambiguous Headlines `84 War Dims Hope for Peace 12 On Their Way to Cruise Among Dead in Plane Crash 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter Air Head Fired Alcohol ads promote drinking --The Hartford Courant, November 18 Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Bankrupt Association Termed in Poor Shape Bible church's focus is the Bible --Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3 Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person --The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2 Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years Blue Skies Unless its Cloudy British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply Cement Supplies seen as adequate --The Bangkok Post, January 28 Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy Children's Stool Great for Use in Garden Child's death ruins couple's holiday Chinese Apeman Dated Chou Remains Cremated Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons --Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6 Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Columnist Gets Urologist in Trouble with His Peers Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly Condom Firm Streches Product Line Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear --Journal of Commerce, April 20 Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing Dealers will hear car talk at noon Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation Deer Kill 17,000 Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows --The New York Times, March 10 Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity --The Chicago Tribune, March 5 Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84 Economist uses theory to explain economy --Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8 Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Eye Drops off Shelf Farmer Bill Dies in House Fish lurk in streams --Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29 Food is Basic to Student Diet Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold --Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26 Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Hershey Bars Protest Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors House passes gas tax onto senate How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart --Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5 If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Include your Children when Baking Cookies Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Lack of brains hinders research --The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find --The Los Angeles Times, November 2 Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests 'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories --Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30 Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Low Wages Said Key to Poverty --Newsday, July 11 Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Malls try to attract shoppers --The Baltimore Sun, October 22 Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish Man is fatally slain Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies --The Los Angeles Times, March 2 Man shoots neighbor with machete --The Miami Herald, July 3 Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge Milk drinkers are turning to powder Miners Refuse to Work after Death N.J. Judge to Rule on Nude Beach Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex New obesity study looks for larger test group New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy Official: Only rain will cure drought --The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Oregon county must hire Klingon interpreter Organ festival ends in smashing climax Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer --Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25 Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Quarter of a million Chinese live on water Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted Scientists see quakes in L.A. future --The Oregonian, January 28 Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency Sneak Attack by Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Steals Clock, Faces Time Stiff Opposition to Casketless Funeral Plan Stolen Painting Found by Tree Stud Tires Out Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link --Cornell Daily Sun Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut --The New York Times, November 22 Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men --The Sunday Oregonian, September 24 Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes --The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30 Toxic Waste Tour Planned Two cars were reported stolen by the Groveton police yesterday Two convicts evade noose, jury hung Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Typhoon rips through cemetary,hundreds dead Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning --The Buffalo News, February 26 War Dims Hope for Peace We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us --Holland Sentinal, date unknown White Flower Two Day Sale-(Friday ONLY) William Kelly was fed secretary Woman charged with olfactory assault Yellow Snow Tested For Nutrition

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