The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners

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The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners

COPYRIGHT

The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners

Copyright ©2017, United Fellowship of the Pen, Inc.

Cover photo:

All rights reserved.

Western Reserve Academy's

PO Box 13291

2017 PenOhio team.

Akron, Ohio 44334

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PREFACE

The winning compositions contained in this publication were written by high school students who won top awards for excellence in writing during the 2017 PenOhio tournament season. These narrative works were selected through a multistep judging process for publication because of their literary merit, and because they present excellent examples of writing that exceeds requirements for narrative writing set forth by Ohio’s New Learning Standards. These compositions have been edited for mechanics and usage by writing team coaches and their students; and compiled and formatted for publication by Jonathan Smith of Alliance City Schools; Garth Holman of Beachwood City Schools; and Thomas Merrill, Project Director of PenOhio.

It is hoped that these samples of excellence and the prompts that evoked them will serve as helpful models in the classroom, stimulating a greater awareness of those elements which lend style, voice, and meaning to written expression. To that end, The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners contains more than a collection of narrative stories. Inside this eBook, each story is followed by a page devoted to teachers and writing coaches. We hope that professionals use it—and these models and prompts—to take PenOhio into the classroom for the benefit of all learners. Congratulations to the students, teachers, and schools whose success merits special commendation and from whose example much can be learned.

The collection is a valid sampling of the best creative expression from the 2017 PenOhio tournament competitions. These tournaments consisted of three forty-minute rounds of competitive writing with no advance knowledge of the topic.

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About PenOhio

Acknowledgments

Every school has a football team, a volleyball team, a soccer team, and a baseball team. Why not a writing team?

This publication has been made possible
 by a bequest in memory of Flo K. Gault, and financial support from these and many other valued friends of PenOhio:

Now, thanks to PenOhio, every High School in Ohio can. PenOhio is a writing league comprised of schools across Ohio who want to see great literary talent inspired, challenged, and rewarded. Through major Regional and State Tournaments, teams compete for top honors and scholarships each spring after engaging in a rigorous 8-week after-school training course. The “Best-of-the-Best” get a hand paying for college through PenOhio’s ample scholarship program. And many PenOhio winners get their works published in PenOhio’s eBook of Winners, a teaching tool that many Ohio teachers depend on for everyday classroom use. We’re Standards-friendly. We’re sports-friendly. We’re writerfriendly. Visit us at penohio.wildapricot.org.

The Martha Holden Jennings Foundation The Portage Foundation
 Francis Broadway
 Rob Cowie
 Emily Grannis
 Mike and Amy Fejes
 Merry Anne Hilty
 Garth Holman
 Dick and Kathi Maggiore
 Steven Miller
 Lynn Murray
 Robert Trattner
 Sal Vado
 Lizbeth Wright
 Greg and Erika Yost You are the best friends that young writers could have!

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Board of Trustees NAME

EMPLOYMENT AFFILIATION

NAME

EMPLOYMENT AFFILIATION

Don Brighenti

Project Rebuild

Bill Nemeth

JumpStart, Inc.

Dr. Courtney Clarke

Cuyahoga Community College

Deborah Phillipp

Kent State University

Mike Fejes

Hudson City Schools

M. L. Schultze

WKSU Radio

Jackie Lovelace

James A. Garfield Schools

Rick Senften

Citizen X, Inc.

Thomas Merrill

PenOhio

Jonathan Smith

Alliance City Schools

Amy Adams

CAC of Portage County

Pam VanArsdale

St. Francis DeSales

Mary Brandon

West Side Montessori

Gina VonVille

Hudson City Schools

Dr. Francis Broadway

University of Akron

Lawrence Weigle

University of Akron

Bryan Carr

Hudson City Schools

Barb Ewing Cockroft

ODE State Support Team

Kim DeCrane

Maple Heights City Schools

Wendy DeLong

Springfield-Clarke CTC

Anita Eldridge

Morgan County Schools

Margana Fahey

Kent City Schools

Linda Fergason

The Portage Foundation

Kristin Friend

Soles Law Firm

Karla Hayslett

OCTELA

Garth Holman

Beachwood City Schools

Brian Masser

Greenview Local Schools

Tom Millard

Indian Hill City Schools

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About The Photographs Each essay in The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners is matched to an image by a very special photographer. He is Steven L. Miller, a cultural portrait artist with nine images in the permanent collection of The Smithsonian Museum. Spending most of his life leading non-profit organizations in six states, Steven left his last executive position in Stark County in 2002 to make and market fine art black and white images that reflect—and impact—the human condition. He teaches photography classes and workshops that stress not just images, but words, too. “Photographers love the phrase, ‘A picture is worth a thousand words.’ On the other hand, think how the phrase- ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country’ called millions of people to action during President John Kennedy’s short but inspiring presidency,” Steven says. “Fortunately, people can tell stories using BOTH words and images as a way to express what’s in their hearts and minds.” Because words are so important, Steven spends a lot of time creating titles for his images- most often just two words- to make his point. Married with two children, Steven has visited 34 foreign countries in search images that are “compelling and memorable.” Thank you, Bapa, for selflessly sharing your work here. You are a great, great teacher. See more of Steven’s photography at www.SLMphoto.com.

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CHAPTER 15

CAKE Sandra was a professional in every sense of the word. Most of all, she was a professional baker and a professional perfectionist. She liked to make cakes with edges as sharp and neat as razors; she took pride in churning out cookies that– if you took the time to calculate it mathematically– all had exactly the same circumferences, radii, diameters. She had a keen eye for details, for minutia, for nuance. And this is what her customers appreciated. Her shop (a quaint, oyster-colored thing about a mile from the Massachusetts coastline) attracted customers from the whole of New England. Looking at it from the outside, you wouldn’t expect the squat, scalloped-roof building to house a business of nearly industrial proportions. Every morning, Sandra woke at 4:00 AM to get some loaves of bread rising. From there, she worked at a breakneck pace until 7:30 PM, fulfilling orders and keeping the display case stocked. She maintained this strict, puritanical schedule everyday, six days a week, resting only on Sundays and Christmas. She relied on a small team of three women (all perfectionists, though not to Sandra’s degree) and hardly any machines. Sandra and her employees were machines in and of themselves. It was Thursday morning, May 15th: an especially important day in the bakery. Sandra’s close friend, Amelia, was getting married 6

Freedom Tower Copyright Steven L. Miller Words and Images, LLC.

tomorrow, and had ordered a wedding cake. It was not to be an ordinary cake, however, as Amelia had specified. It was to be monumental, gargantuan, brobdingnagian. The cake was to be an event of its own. This cake, Amelia had said, was to be unlike any other cake to come out of Sandra’s ovens. And, of course, Sandra was up to the task. She and her employees had spent the last two days working slavishly over this creation. Little else got done, and all other orders were put on hold until this project was complete. The cake itself consisted of twenty layers, all baked in individual pans to ensure equal proportions. After coming out of the oven, the slabs rested in the refrigerator for at least 24 hours. In the meantime, the bakers churned out vats of homemade buttercream frosting, and sculpted innumerable tiny marzipan flowers. A gallon of milk chocolate ganache was prepared, and a pound of sugar-pearls were painstakingly carved and polished. Now, on Thursday, it was time for assembly. It took Sandra and all four employees to transport the pieces of cake from the fridge to the marble countertop. Once that task was accomplished, the hard part began. Frosting was meticulously spread on each piece of cake to adhere the slabs together. This process alone consumed one hour. Then, cracking their tired knuckles, the employees had to frost the exterior of the cake. The whole kitchen had to be kept very chilly to maintain the integrity of the buttercream. If Sandra felt that the frosting was getting too soft, she cranked the thermostat down five degrees. It took three hours to apply the exterior layer. If Sandra spotted a flaw– a dent, a swirl, a ridge out of place– the whole section had to

be reworked. The process was very similar to the production of a Renaissance-era masterpiece. After this, the ganache was carefully poured so that it swirled artfully down the layers. Then, the sugar pearls and marzipan flowers were very carefully applied. Each one had its place, purpose, and meaning. The technique was difficult, exacting, and masterful. The cake, when complete, was nothing short of divine. This was Sandra’s masterpiece, her “chef d'oeuvre”. The crew had started working on the cake at seven in the morning. By the time it was done, it was three in the afternoon. In all, the laborious process had consumed eight hours. Exhausted, all four employees stepped back to admire their handiwork. The cake reached almost to the ceiling. You had to crane your neck to really appreciate every tier. Lenora, one of the workers, sighed adoringly. “It’s huge!” she exclaimed. “It’s absolutely gigantic.” Silence, then another worker– Carol– spoke. “Yeah, it sure is,” she said. “It sure is gigantic. Maybe too gigantic?” They pondered this idea. Several minutes elapsed. The only sound was that of quiet breathing, of the refrigerator fan whirring. Bette, the third worker, cocked her head. “Sandra, not to worry you,” she said, “But do you think the cake is–” Horrified, Sandra held out her hand and cut off Bette’s sentence. “–Tilting?” she said. 7

With all four workers watching, the masterpiece– the work of art– the huge cake– fell to the side and collapsed.

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Writer:

Izzy Frabotta

Division:

Varsity

Coach:

Gina Von Ville

School:

Hudson High School

Community: Hudson Entry:

Cake

Prompt:

The Flaw. Write about one in your narrative.

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Teacher Tips 1.QUESTION: How does Izzy demonstrate that she is meeting or exceeding Ohio’s New Learning Standards in the content area of Writing? ANSWER: Izzy certainly demonstrates an outstanding ability to write a narrative that meets this ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.c: Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. Her writing is a very careful balance of “showing” versus “telling”, and when we get to the climactic moment, when the cake is finally completed, readers are on the edge of their seats, holding their collective breath, waiting to see what’s going to happen next.  It’s Izzy’s careful construction of the narrative that takes us to that place.   2.QUESTION: After I read (or have my students read) Izzy’s narrative, what Guiding Questions could I pose to help writers think about ways of improving their writing in the future? ANSWER:  This standard is very straightforward.  It’s an analysis of the sequence of events in a story.  Izzy’s piece is also very straightforward in its approach, and that is part of what makes it impressive.  The writer didn’t have to rely on tricks or gimmicks to make the story come to life.  It’s a careful sequencing of the details that lead the reader very naturally to the climactic moment.  A guiding question to begin a discussion on this piece can be as simple as, what is the main character trying to achieve?  It’s a question that’s easy to answer - to construct a cake.  Now we begin to analyze the layers - what has Izzy done to ramp up the tension before the cake baking even begins?  The answer has several parts.  The first answer is that the cake is for her best friend.  The main character does not want to let her down.  The next answer is that the cake is for one of life’s most important moments - a wedding.  The cake has to be monumental, gargantuan, brobdingnagian, an event of its own, unlike any other cake to come out of Sandra’s ovens.  Best of all, Izzy has given Sandra a strict time limit - tomorrow.  The pressure is most certainly on.  From that point, Izzy takes us layer by painstaking layer until the masterpiece is complete.  As the bakers stare at their creation, readers are right there, too. We’re looking at success...until the cake collapses!  Even though the story ends there, our questions do not.  Why did Izzy, the writer, let the bakers fail at such an important task?  It was her decision.  She could have let them succeed, but she didn’t.  How come?  This leads to a discussion of hubris - pride. During the Greek times, that was so intense that it offended the Gods and often led to punishment by those Gods. Sandra was paying the price for thinking that any cake was beyond her expertise.  This discussion would also segue nicely into other stories that demonstrated a similar sequencing of events and characters who had similar character flaws like the story of Icarus and Daedalus.

CHAPTER 20

THE GREAT CAPTAIN AND THE M’II DOCK MYTHOS

River Child Copyright Steven L. Miller Words and Images, LLC.

Ancient Filipino Legend speaks of a great and mysterious being. An ominous monstrosity so vastly ginormous and incredibly malignant, it's very name strikes fear into the souls of the Filipino Elders. MïiDock. (Muh-eye-dock) MïiDock is said to rest in the sea. At depths and distances too vast for human exploration. MïiDock is infinite. Spanning the eons of prehistory, resting now only to give us a false sense of safety, security and superiority. For humans are not the dominant figure on this planet. MïiDock lies, clouded by inky waters, waiting for the right time to rise again. If provoked, MïiDock  will unleash a vengeance unmatched and unimagined by any human, or living being at all. The only reference we have for the fearsome and biblical capabilities of this beast lay within a fable, spread by word of mouth. It speaks of a great sailor, born to the ocean and captaining a vessel at a young age. This legendary captain had no name, but a love for the sea is where is he placed his faith. Our captain had heard many a time the mythos of MïiDock, and longed to find the beast, if only to stare in awestruck wonder.                           The captain's raw curiosity fueled the lantern by which he studied MïiDock. Endless sunsets spent gathering information, until the sunrise on the day our captain discovered what he longed for. The final resting place of MïiDock. Following a map of the stars, he sailed to this fabled location far from any civilization. Coming upon that mythical place in the sea, he anchored his vessel. In an effort to awaken MïiDock ,he began throwing things overboard so they might sink to the ocean floor and touch the creature. But to no avail. The captain stayed out there 3 weeks past his rations After eating his mattress, he was discouraged. He sailed away. Feeling betrayed by

the ocean, he ran his boat ashore. Stepping onto land for the first time since his birth. He dismantled his ship and formed a home from the boards. After failing in his lifelong goal to find MïiDock, the former captain fell into a deep depression. Years went by. The captain resurfaced from his disappointment and started a new life. He founded a company creating tiny trinkets and knick-knacks to sell. He adored his work as he sold and crafted them from the comfort of his home. The captain was finally at peace. But it was not meant to be... Deep in the ocean in a place far from civilization...MïiDock awoke. Rising from his eons long slumber, the beast was infuriated to find it was covered in human creation that had been cast overboard from a ship. MïiDock does forgive easily and MïiDock never forgets.The mighty beast emerged from the depths. Thrashing about, sending monumental tidal waves in every direction. MïiDock could smell the sickening scent of the captain who had buried the beast. MïiDock followed the scent on a trail that ended in vengeance. MïiDock came ashore and discovered a small wooden hut that reeked a familiar scent. MïiDock let out a bone melting bellow, opened it's mouth-like aperture and swallowed the home of the captain. And as quickly as it had come, MïiDock vanished. Back into the sea. Luckily, our captain was out to market when the incident occurred. Hearing the screech, he came running back to his house to find only a crater, with a single, shining scale off of MïiDock. He clutched the scale and fell to the ground as he wept. His store, his job, his home. All gone with the wind in the belly of an ancient sea monster. Unemployed and homeless, what would he ever do? Well I'm here to tell you that I am the captain in this story, and no, I didn't do last night's assignment. Why? Because.... 13

MïiDock ate my home/work. (Get it? My dog ate my homework? Classic.)

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Writer:

Max Miesse

Division:

Varsity

Coach:

Andrew Buckles

School:

Kenton Ridge High School

Community: Springfield Entry:

The Great Captain and The M’ii Dock Mythos

Prompt:

That's the best excuse I ever heard. Develop a narrative based on this sentence.

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Teacher Tips 1.QUESTION: How does Max demonstrate that he is meeting or exceeding Ohio’s New Learning Standards in the content area of Writing? ANSWER: Max certainly demonstrates an outstanding ability to write a narrative that meets this ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.e: “Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.” Because Max does this so well, his narrative can serve as a Model of Excellence that teachers can use to help other learners understand—from a peer—how to craft their narratives similarly. 2.QUESTION: After I read (or have my students read) Max’s narrative, what Guiding Questions could I pose to help writers think about ways of improving their writing in the future? ANSWER: Great question! There are several notable points that stand out in Max’s work. The first question to ask is what stands out to YOU when you read Max’s writing? After you read it and set it aside for a moment, what do you remember? What three things do you remember? A hallmark of a great writer is that they make us remember things. How does Max do this? What devices does he use? And next, focus a line of questions on the conclusion. Max did a great job of answering the prompt, which was about an excuse. He had a great punchline at the end. How do you think he wrote a story like this one? Do you think he wrote it on the fly? Do you think he thought it out in advance? How would you write a story like this? Where would you start to develop your ideas?

CHAPTER 22

FIDGET Leg Man Copyright Steven L. Miller Words and Images, LLC.

Fidgeting. Fidget. His left eye resumes its normal rhythm of twitching wildly, and finally he can think. Finally, finally he can plan. Finally, finally, the plan to get his one true love. Of course, she doesn’t think that she loves him. She doesn’t think she loves Norman Beetle. She’ll call me “Beetleboy” as a nickname, Norman thought. We’re going to be so happy together! Fidgeting. Fidget. The brief spasm ceases, and Norman stares at the graph paper in front of him. It’s scored with black lines, but readable to Norman. That line is a window; that one a car; that beautifully curved one is her. Ah yes, her. She’ll love me, thought Norman. Finally, Norman Beetle and Rowena LaFayette can be together. It’s risky, but love is risky, and Norman loved Rowena, no matter how many restraining orders she had on him. Love knows noFidget. -boundaries. Norman somehow was in the kitchen, holding a plastic mixing bowl. Again? He sighed, then straightened, rolling his neck. No matter. Norman Beetle stared out his dingy kitchen window, eyes bright, and very dangerous looking.

Norman didn’t fidget--not once!--on the drive to her house. Technically, he shouldn’t drive at all. It was for love, came a reassurance from deep in his mind. For Rowena. He did, however, fidget on her doorstep. Damn. He could hear soft music seeping out of the house, and brushed his coat off. Hm. Through the back window. That seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t even locked! Norman let out a soft chuckle. Silly Rowena. Silly indeed. He plopped softly into her living room, breathing in deeply. Rowena is here. Fidget. Fidgeting. And now he’s got the TV on. Norman threw on the remote in surprise. Rowena knows there’s someone here, he thinks desperately, hearing the music shut off. Guess I’ll just grab her. He took the steps two at a time, boots sinking into the plush beige carpet. There she was. There she was, in all her glory, silky black curls bobbing as he lovingly hoisted her over his head. Just like our future honeymoon, he thought dreamily drowning out the screams (of delight, of course) above his head. Rowena was so tiny that it was easy to get her out of the open window he’d come in through. She was still screaming. “Rowena, darling, shhh, the neighbors will hear!” She only screamed louder. Norman sighed, and laid her gently in the trunk of his car. He closed it halfway. 19

“See? I would have let you ride shotgun, but-” Fidget! Fidget Fidget! Norman came to quickly, blinking rapidly at the empty trunk. Where was Rowena? Nonono, she can’t have left him. That’s when Norman heard the sirens. He raced to the front of his car, anger boiling in his head. His plan had failed! Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Norman backed the car out of the driveway, trunk door flapping wildly. He needed to get out so he could see Rowena again. Someday. Someday. The speedometer read 65 as he barreled down Priskett Drive. Go! Go! Drive, Norman! FIDGET! Norman woke soon after than final fidget, bathed in the sanitary white light of a hospital. The police chief even visited him; said something about “never” and “Rowena.” Norman inwardly smiled, not listening. He’d try again. 20

Writer:

Ellie Church

Division:

Junior Varsity

Coach:

Bryan Carr

School:

Hudson High School

Community: Hudson Entry:

Fidget

Prompt:

The risk will result in either great success or hideous failure. Choose one option and write about it.

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Teacher Tips 1.QUESTION: How does Ellie demonstrate that she is meeting or exceeding Ohio’s New Learning Standards in the content area of Writing? ANSWER: Ellie certainly demonstrates an outstanding ability to write a narrative that meets this ODE Standard: W.9-10.3.c: “Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole.” Ellie’s narrative has a definite beginning, middle, and end. There exists a sequence of events that build on one another just like the Standard dictates. A coherent whole results. Therefore, Ellie’s narrative can serve as a Model of Excellence that teachers can use to help other learners understand—from a peer—how to craft their narratives similarly. 2.QUESTION: After I read (or have my students read) Ellie’s narrative, what Guiding Questions could I pose to help writers think about ways of improving their writing in the future? ANSWER: Great question! There are several notable points that stand out in Elle’s work. The first question to ask, is what stands out to YOU when you read Ellie’s writing? After you read it and set it aside for a moment, what do you remember? What three things do you remember? A hallmark of a great writer is that they make us remember things. How does Ellie do this? What devices does she use? One thing that Ellie does that is very special is that she repeats the use of the terms “Figdet” and “Fidgeting”. What is the purpose of doing this? What does this add to the piece? Another thing Ellie does is to add a very interesting open and close to the piece. The reader does not necessarily make sense of the opening until the close is read. After reading the piece, reread the open and the close again. What happened to Norman Beetle? Did this tale with Rowena actually happen? Or, did the story all take place in Norman’s head? What do you think? What does the class think? Did the writer (Ellie) do a good job of convincing readers that the tale was realistic? Why or why not? What about Ellie’s writing made the story convincing (or not)?

CHAPTER 29

9:44:00 PM Tyler is sitting in his 2009 Focus in the driveway. It’s dark and quiet and he’s debating whether or not to walk the marathon to the front door. It is 9:01 PM. “What am I doing here?” he asks, before catching himself, “talking to myself I guess.” 
 The engine is long cold. He looks out through the windshield to the lighted windows, occasionally filled with her silhouette. It is 9:13 PM. “Already here. I’m just going to do it.” He opens the door and moves one foot out onto the cement before pausing. “Why can’t I!” He sits down exasperated. Suddenly his phone rings. Reluctantly, he brings it to his ear. “Did you do it yet?” comes the voice, slightly agitated. “Well, I… “ “So no, great. Where are you?” “I mean I’m in her driveway…” “What! Jesus, Tyler just get out of the car and do it. You have the best excuse in the world!” 24

Night Moves Copyright Steven L. Miller Words and Images, LLC.

“But what if it isn’t?” “Tyler, do I need to remind you what she--” “But maybe I still do!” “Do what?” “Maybe I still…” A light turns off in the house. It is 9:22 PM. “I’ll tell you what Tyler. If she doesn’t take it well… to hell with her. You need to care about you.” “I know…” “You don’t know though. Remember to leave the car running, go up to the door, and just do it. Call me when it’s over.” The call hangs up. Tyler looks down at his hands. He is shaking. He pulls down the mirror and looks himself over. Still a black eye and his cheek is purple-red with bruising. He lowers his head, swings his legs out of the car, and shuts the door. Staring up at the house, it seems miles away, but he wills his legs to walk. It is 9:36 PM. He rings the doorbell and waits. No answer. He rings again. No answer. He holds the button down and hears loud footsteps respond inside. “Who the hell is coming around this late!” The door opens and there she stands, still towering over him. Tyler wills himself not to shake.

“What the hell, boy, I’m trying to sleep!” She raises her hand, Tyler begins to flinch. “No!” Tyler stands straight. He wills himself to make eye contact. She is quite taken aback. “No? Well listen here you-” “I said no.” The duo stare at each other. “I’m leaving, mom.” The night is completely silent. It is 9:44 PM. “Seventeen years hasn’t broken me. I’m leaving. I’m done. I’ve never loved you.” She looks down at him, no sign of remorse. “What you have done to me... there is no excuse.” She suddenly wells up with anger, face turning mean and red. “And what have you given me you goddamn brat! You ruined my life. I never wanted you!” She starts advancing towards him. Tyler walks backwards. “All the better excuse for me to leave then.” And with that he ran, her screaming behind him. It is 9:50 PM. In the car, he drove. Nowhere to go in the world, but repeating to himself over and over again.

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“I had no choice. I had no choice. I have the best excuse in the world.” He parked in an empty lot, lay his head on the steering wheel, and began to cry. “I had no choice. I had no choice.” His phone is ringing again. He is crying. The night is silent. It is 10:01 PM.

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Writer:

Grant Foskett

Division:

Varsity

Coach:

Matt Peterson

School:

Western Reserve Academy

Community: Hudson Entry:

9:44:00 PM

Prompt:

That's the best excuse I ever heard. Develop a narrative based on this sentence.

27

Teacher Tips 1.QUESTION: How does Grant demonstrate that he is meeting or exceeding Ohio’s New Learning Standards in the content area of Writing? ANSWER: Grant demonstrates an outstanding ability to write a narrative that meets this ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.b: “Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.” Grant’s exceptional command of dialogue in his narrative compels PenOhio to offer it as a Model of Excellence. 2.QUESTION: After I read (or have my students read) Grant’s narrative, what Guiding Questions could I pose to help writers think about ways of improving their writing in the future? ANSWER: Grant’s story is heart-wrenching. When you stop and think about what happens to Tyler, the main character in the story, it makes you want to cry. As a teacher of writing, you have a chance with this story to explore some important “how” questions. How did Grant get the reader to care about Tyler? How did the reader come to know what Tyler was facing? Grant uses a device within the story that is really interesting: Grant repeats the time. (9:01 PM, for example, and so on). How does this add to the story? Grant leaves open the idea of who it is that is beating Tyler up until the end of the story. How does this affect the story? Why did Grant choose to write the story this way? When teaching/coaching on a story such as this one, it’s all about asking questions of a class rather than giving a class answers. There is no “right” and no “wrong”. There is only the “worth” that a writer can make of the story.

STANDARDS ALIGNMENT INDEX

The standards below are linked to specific writing samples. Tap or click on the page number to be taken to a writing sample for each particular standard.

ODE Standard: W.9-10.3.c Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. 109

ODE Standard: W.9-10.3.a! Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters/ create a smooth progression of experiences or events. 83

ODE Standard: W.9-10.3.b Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters. 6

41

ODE Standard: W.9-10.3.d Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters 21

120

63

114

52

58

98

132

143

ODE Standard: W.9-10.3.e Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative 68

137

126

xxx

ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.a

ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.e

Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, and its significance, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.

Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.

11

31

36

46

88

93

148

ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.b Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters. 16

103 ODE Standard:W.11-12.3.a Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, and its significance, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events. 46

153

ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.c Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole and build toward a particular tone and outcome (e.g., a sense of mystery, suspense, growth, or resolution). 26

73

78

ODE Standard: W.11-12.3.d Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters. 159

xxxi

NOTICE

Permission to Publish releases have been obtained from student writers whose work appears in this publication, and all materials contained herein are fully protected by the registered copyright holder, The United Fellowship of the Pen, under copyright law. These materials are intended exclusively for the use of schools currently enrolled in the PenOhio program; they may not be duplicated, copied, or used in any other way except with the explicit consent of the copyright holder. Schools which withdraw from the program hereby forfeit permission to use the prompts and/or models of excellence contained herein or in any other publication issued by The United Fellowship of the Pen. Participating schools may purchase copies of this year’s publication, as well as those from earlier years, from:

United Fellowship of the Pen PO Box 13291 Akron, OH 44334 xxxii

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The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners

The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners COPYRIGHT The 2017 PenOhio eBook of Winners Copyright ©2017, United Fellowship of the Pen, Inc. Cover photo: A...

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